mewkittyblu
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2018
- Messages
- 34
In the last two years ive done a lot.. was trying to deal with some stuff, the wrong way obviously, and i had enough money to buy basically as much dope as i wanted.
Im afraid ive permsnently fried my receptors and ill never be happy again. I cant FEEL anything. I see a cute guy or think of my bf-i cant get turned on. I listen to music-which slways would make me feel-now nothing. Find out im going on a trip to see my bf (we're long distance right now), i mean im happy, but i dont feel that spark, that joy. I dont want to watch tv... i used to get into certain books and lose myself in that world.. nothing.
I very clesrly remember a few years sgo, waking up, enjoying getting ready and putting on my makeup and trying on a cute outfit to wear.. hopping in my car, blasting my fsvorite song, and feeling good. Enjoying life, feeling happy. Getting a txt from man msn, my heart doing a little happy jump. Him saying something sexy to me, me getting turned on. Coming home, cleaning with the music up, looking for wsrd to sering him later, imagining what we're going to do..
I get none of that now. I just feel numb and dead.
Im trying to taper off heroin right now-thats my drug of choice and the only drug i do.
Im just wondering.. has anyone else felt this way? Did getting clean help?
Im afraid ive permsnently fried my receptors and ill never be happy again. I cant FEEL anything. I see a cute guy or think of my bf-i cant get turned on. I listen to music-which slways would make me feel-now nothing. Find out im going on a trip to see my bf (we're long distance right now), i mean im happy, but i dont feel that spark, that joy. I dont want to watch tv... i used to get into certain books and lose myself in that world.. nothing.
I very clesrly remember a few years sgo, waking up, enjoying getting ready and putting on my makeup and trying on a cute outfit to wear.. hopping in my car, blasting my fsvorite song, and feeling good. Enjoying life, feeling happy. Getting a txt from man msn, my heart doing a little happy jump. Him saying something sexy to me, me getting turned on. Coming home, cleaning with the music up, looking for wsrd to sering him later, imagining what we're going to do..
I get none of that now. I just feel numb and dead.
Im trying to taper off heroin right now-thats my drug of choice and the only drug i do.
Im just wondering.. has anyone else felt this way? Did getting clean help?