Grief, medication, suicidal thoughts

[ArtVandalay]

My wife died from cancer- Found out April 1st, she died May 8th. We had no idea until it was too late. I have a son who is almost 4 years old. I'm on 8mg Subutex (been in a program for about ten years). My primary doctor prescribed me .5 Klonopin a few months after she passed. I'm now tapering off. He put me on Effexor, which I had a terrible reaction to, it felt like coming off of bad MDMA, so I got off of that.

My question is, I've been having legit suicidal ideation. How much of this is grief and how much is it the Klonopin taper? I'm down to half a tablet a day. I'm also wondering what other medications I could try for my depression/anxiety (I don't do well with SSRIs).

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

So sorry to hear that. Sudden death isn't fun. Really rocks people to their core.

People grieve differently. Even someone who knows you in person might not be able to spot the difference. Stopping benzos can be incredibly stressful. To me it sounds like you were on a low dose for not too long, so it's nothing like people who've been taking for example 6mg of alprazolam a day for several years. Which isn't to say that what you're going through isn't legitimate.

There are lots of different SSRIs, and they tend to be safe and helpful to most. I think there are like six of them, along with some SNRIs and other medications that have SRI mechanisms. And an old class of antidepressants, tricyclics, might be warranted. Not sure. Just a layman here!

I think it's definitely important to talk over what you're feeling with someone in depth. I think both psychotherapy and friends/family who support you is a good combination, and medication if a doctor thinks it will help. Klonopin can be good for anxiety, and Subutex for opioid addiction, but neither are technically antidepressants. Also, antidepressants tend to work for anxiety, as well, but most of those are SRIs. Plenty of diffferent ones, again. Not to say that they help all people. I guess there are so many because we don't really know specifically how they work, like most medications, to be honest.

 

[Flynnal]

There are lots of different SSRIs, and they tend to be safe and helpful to most. I think there are like six of them, along with some SNRIs and other medications that have SRI mechanisms. And an old class of antidepressants, tricyclics, might be warranted. Not sure. Just a layman here!

Are you sure this is a good path to go down to treat grief? I wouldn't use these unless it never resolved or became complicated and even then I'm not sure if adding sexual dysfunction on top of losing one's wife is a good idea either. The antidepressants really are not that good for treating grief. This is the sort of thing that has to take its course.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Are you sure this is a good path to go down to treat grief? I wouldn't use these unless it never resolved or became complicated and even then I'm not sure if adding sexual dysfunction on top of losing one's wife is a good idea either. The antidepressants really are not that good for treating grief. This is the sort of thing that has to take its course.

Fair point. My sense is that it isn't just grief. Addiction and mental illness go hand in hand, and if a doctor thought he might do well on an SRI medication, then the doctor probably knows best. It's not really the kind of thing to take its course like that if suicidal ideation is involved, too.

 

[garygroundwork]

Be careful. When I have come off things I have had suicidal thoughts.

Hang in there. Know it gets better.