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Grandiose Mania - Monologue

Sprout

Sprout

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Oct 13, 2009
Messages
7,377
I have just found a partition of prose, penned by I, during a time of psychometric instability.

No editing, no additions, this was created in one frenzied expression approx. 5/6 months ago. A time of great change, seasonal, personal, global.
I was, in my delusional mind, not 'The Messiah', as clichéd doctrine would love. Yet, I was 'a genius', 'the genius', computing above and beyond the masses.

If one finds the rest of the piece, it will be added.

He said:
'We're back, baby!
Fuck, I missed you/me.

Been thinking on the words of the Paramedic last week - he got it. He saw into the game I've spent my life playing; 'people bore you; you're always two steps ahead. You know exactly what they want to hear, exactly what to say, able to change their direction without them realising to whatever you want. Able to run people in circles at will' - dropped the exterior for 5 seconds and he saw in, fuck! I underestimated him: thinking he was like the others. He wasn't - he was one of us: critical, analytical, playing the game, leaving other's none the wiser. Though he was as shocked as I, meeting another person with the ability to do as we do is not a common occurrence. It acts as both a comfort: a sense of communal awareness, in addition to shattering the hubris. Living among the 'normals' induces such a feeling of externality - on the outside looking in. We read, we are not read - not as ourselves, but as whomever and whatever we have chosen to become at that point. The exterior we are currently projecting is all they see.
Their belief in their view of us straddles the line between pitiful and hilarious. How do they not see it? Blissfully unaware of how wrong they are - when they think they know you any deeper than the paper thin, multifaceted, constantly oscilating facade you show them. Laughable. Pitiful.

Simultaneous existence as the most social misanthrope possible is something that requires eternal conscious analysis - a self fuelling fire that rages inside, burning the mantle that holds it'.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you.

I am learning to save my Manic scrawls for later analysis, I may post more? <3
 
Sociopathy is the inability to experience guilt, remorse or empathy.

I present as more Grandiose/Narcissistic, IMO.
 
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