Opioids Going on to Methadone MMT to maintain a "high"

[motiv311]

So I am a 29 year old musician, I have ADD really bad, but i am a good performer and can sing and write music; anyway, I took classical piano as a child, but i had to be forced to play at all, and i never really "enjoyed" it per se, I was a sad and unimpressive hyper active child....
Eventually I started taking my left over adderalls from all the RX's given to me as a hyper child, and between the amphetamines and weed, i felt like I was finally "cured" ... like i could think and make decisions and develope hobbys and a personality and have friends; drugs were the answer. . . Moreover I started playing music obsessively for hours and hours and days and days, piano, guitar, writing, computer everything.... super duper creative and ended up developing my "chops" .... I also developed my drug addiction (this is age 16-17) As high quality meth is readily avaiable here (close the the Mexico border in CA) .... and although kids my age at my school were not really getting that extreme I purposefully sought it out, because of sites like this and erowid, I basically figured it wasn't nearly as horrendus as society and the media makes it out... of course it was incredible and i fell in love with it, and with my music as it blew up like a mushroom of speed induced creativity. . Of course the crash began to become unbearable, and thats when i discovered benzo's and more specifiically opiates and heroin. as a singer songwriter heroin and pain pills is the ultimate, forget amphetamines, speed will ruin a performer on stage, but opiates ohhh sweet bliss! you can fell the music eminating from inside you! Like so many others I was quickly seduced to the dark side of speed and brown powder..... I eventually moved to utah where these items were much less prevelent... and then three years ago I moved back here to socal, and its fucking everywhere, and i love it, but i know it can ruin my music career and my health if i let it... more importantly , i can't afford the shit anymore. Basically without drugs, I don't play music, don't listen to music, im basically a different guy, a sad guy who has nothing to say (forget about singing!) Let me get something straight, Drugs still have appeal, but not really for me; at times it feels more like a "job description" than a nice treat.... Like a hassel, but a neccary part of my musical process, .... Basically in the studio I will smoke a little bit of speed and brown powder , like 3-4 hits of both, and thats all i need to get the whole train moving along.... it i do to much i basically can't sing or play right, and i don't communicate well with my band mates, and i even will get a bit cranky if i have been using to much in general. . When we perform I won't use any speed the day of or even one or two days before the perfomance, because it fucks with the nerves.... when on stage i get a natural burst of energy , infused in my nerves from just being a little nervous, but this is a really important part of any natural performer, the anxiety is GOOD for you, and sometimes speed can fuck that natural adrenaline function up.... So before we play live, its 3-4 hits of the brown powder... Not to much because you will sweat so much you look like a fucking man who just walked out of swimming pool.

Heres my dilemma , question....

I can't afford heroin anymore, and its hard to find legit connects who are stable anyway,, so i've decided to go on methadone like all my friends...mainly because every time i've tried methadone, it gave me a pretty decent high, and mellowed me enough, i think it would do nicely for my purposes (as a relaxant for performing) I'm thinking 80 mg would be a decent enough dose, probably a bit on the high side, but better to go on the higher estimations than the lower in these regards....

and then of course , i will also go see my shrink and get my adderall script filled, because using meth is illegal and bad for the lungs, and i'm a singer..... mainly just need the adderall because with an opiod such as methadone i know it tends to build up in the system and make you majorly sluggish and generally intoxicated.... a half adderall here and there is perfect to counter this....


what do you all think?

 

[mrsnowygrainius]

is this a serious question? if you go on MMT for the hopes of getting a high you will be EXTREMELY disappointed...

sure you go on and you will get a a high for about a week or so, but then your honeymoon is over. you will feel nothing from the done and after you take your daily dose you will feel just normal, no high, no nothing. methadone is a great thing for end of the line type of addictions and is a drug used for maintenance, not getting high.

if I were you id get on suboxone, its a lot easier to get off of than methadone and will curve cravings to use heroin very well. also the best part about suboxone is that you cannot get high on dope while on it. I forgot to mention that getting off of methadone is harder than any other opiate times 10000

 

[pbuilder]

Ya this is a horrible idea. Methadone loses its already mediocre euphoria very fast, and then after prolonged methadone maintenance you are stuck with 10x worse and longer lasting withdrawals then from heroin. People say getting off methadone is the hardest thing they've ever done and it takes months or more of being in misery to even feel remotely normal again.

Also, methadone and all opiates over time lose there spark, and generally sap all motivation from you and will probably make you a couch potato with a sweet tooth content doing nothing who couldn't care less about music. At least in my experience, that can happen.

Suboxone would probably be a much better option.

Drugs won't solve your problems, they just make it worse. Maybe consider rehab, you eventually will become your former talented musician self again without the need of drugs to do so

 

[motiv311]

I don't think you guys get it, i don't want to go to rehab, I want to do more drugs, and better drugs, and yes i know it may seem like im blowing smoke, but truly most people i know who get into drugs stop playing music or doing anything productive..... i didn't START playing music or doing anything worthwhile until i go ON drugs, I'm going to do opiates anyways, i might as well get some of them paid for and supplied by the state.... I like to take opiates and sing and perform..... and i'm going to do that.... every time i've gotten sober, i've gained about 35 lbs, i start to look about 5 years older than normal, and i feel basically like a fat lonesome slob... playing music is the LAST thing on my mind... and i know "oh dude, just wait like 5 months and then you'll be SO happy!" .... but it just doesn't happen that way for me.... i only need to be on opiates for another two months while we finish the performance dates we've already booked.... and finish our EP.... then i will stop taking methadone and all opiates for a few months or so.... i only plan to take 40 mg of methadone a day, and perhaps no even every day.... no longer than two or three months

 

[Soulgasm]

I don't think methadone will really be effective for you in maintaining a high because you body develops a tolerance to it so quickly (having such a powerful opioid on your receptors 24/7). It will lose its effect very very quickly and you'll just feel baseline normal from taking it. Plus your opioid receptors will be wrecked at that point and heroin will also become ineffective. Better to just use dope on occasion. But really, you can't maintain an opiate high for long periods of time as your body will just adjust to whatever dose you put in it and it will end badly. Anything you can do on dope, you can do without it. You just have to find ways to get into that mindset naturally and integrate the success you have found while drugged to your sober life because the magic of dope fades fast.

 

[pbuilder]

I don't think you guys get it, i don't want to go to rehab, I want to do more drugs, and better drugs, and yes i know it may seem like im blowing smoke, but truly most people i know who get into drugs stop playing music or doing anything productive..... i didn't START playing music or doing anything worthwhile until i go ON drugs, I'm going to do opiates anyways, i might as well get some of them paid for and supplied by the state.... I like to take opiates and sing and perform..... and i'm going to do that.... every time i've gotten sober, i've gained about 35 lbs, i start to look about 5 years older than normal, and i feel basically like a fat lonesome slob... playing music is the LAST thing on my mind... and i know "oh dude, just wait like 5 months and then you'll be SO happy!" .... but it just doesn't happen that way for me.... i only need to be on opiates for another two months while we finish the performance dates we've already booked.... and finish our EP.... then i will stop taking methadone and all opiates for a few months or so.... i only plan to take 40 mg of methadone a day, and perhaps no even every day.... no longer than two or three months

One day you'll look back on this post, and probably heavily regret this thought process, which is addiction talking. The most common result of an addiction like this by far is ending up an IV heroin addict. But no one here can stop you, all i can tell you is it's hell from experience.

 

[motiv311]

I don't think methadone will really be effective for you in maintaining a high because you body develops a tolerance to it so quickly (having such a powerful opioid on your receptors 24/7). It will lose its effect very very quickly and you'll just feel baseline normal from taking it. Plus your opioid receptors will be wrecked at that point and heroin will also become ineffective. Better to just use dope on occasion. But really, you can't maintain an opiate high for long periods of time as your body will just adjust to whatever dose you put in it and it will end badly. Anything you can do on dope, you can do without it. You just have to find ways to get into that mindset naturally and integrate the success you have found while drugged to your sober life because the magic of dope fades fast.

thank you man, i will try.... in the past when i was in love with a girl I quit all drugs, and was writing and playing all the time as she became my "muse"..... I will try to do the best I can

 

[crzydiamond]

I am and have previously been on MMT. While it is true you won't be high all the time, I definitely have a warm and fuzzy feeling especially the first few hours after dosing. There is definitely a difference between maintaining on methadone and just being clean. (Was completely clean for almost 9 yrs). Like you said though I don't have the energy as much on methadone, I can lazily lounge around though...When I'm clean I'm more go-go-go


I will note though that every time I have gone on MMT I have gained 25-30 lbs due to the slowing of the metabolism. I lose it quite easily once I detox from the methadone

If you are using opiates daily, it is a better idea to be on a level dose of methadone than the up and down have/not have of a illegal opiate habit .

 

[namnoc16]

I don't think methadone will really be effective for you in maintaining a high because you body develops a tolerance to it so quickly (having such a powerful opioid on your receptors 24/7). It will lose its effect very very quickly and you'll just feel baseline normal from taking it. Plus your opioid receptors will be wrecked at that point and heroin will also become ineffective. Better to just use dope on occasion. But really, you can't maintain an opiate high for long periods of time as your body will just adjust to whatever dose you put in it and it will end badly. Anything you can do on dope, you can do without it. You just have to find ways to get into that mindset naturally and integrate the success you have found while drugged to your sober life because the magic of dope fades fast.

I agree word for word with this poster it woud serve you well to listen op. I was on methadone maintenance from 98-2005 and I was not high for 7 years. As a matter of fact the only time I got high was after serving 2 weeks in jail they gave me a 35 mg starter dose and that kicked my ass. Methadone tolerance happens in my experience more rapidly then any other opiate and having to go to the methadone clinic everyday(until you get take homes) blows. The only thing worse is missing a day. I would get take homes for holidays and drink that as well as my normal dose and wouldn't feel high at all. Methadone is a weird acting drug and IMHO sucks as a recreational opiate!

 

[David Wooderson]

I wound up doing what your talking about by mistake 10 years ago.

My second dose got me higher than I ever had been in my life, which sent me on a never ending increase in dosage that got up to 240mg.

I am clean now and wouldn't wish that addiction on anyone, but you do eventually become used to the dose and when you're not getting knocked out at 240mg you have a long battle ahead of you.

I preferred methadone over any opiate and people who say that it sucks as a recreational drug don't understand that some people like the abyss of methadone.

The withdrawals are life changing, it took me years to feel normal again.