I'm new to the forum, so, hey there!
Anyway, I'm just going to start digging right in to the details of this little "thing" that's been going on with my girlfriend and I recently.
Just last night, my girlfriend of 3 years and I were having one of our very long and interesting general discussions that happen every once in a while. It's just a thing we do. We just suddenly start talking and discussing a wide range of different topics, offering opinions, giving input, etc. Somehow, sex became the topic of the night. We just started rattling on about sexuality in general and stuff like that. We ended up talking about a lot of different things from sex positions, past experiences, and so on. Homosexuality, for some reason, was being talked about and mentioned quite frequently.
Personally, I have always been a very sexually open minded person. I am a little bit of a gay-rights activist, but I am a straight man. I have never had any issue or problem with the LGBT community and I fully support their rights and all that good stuff and respect them to the fullest extent. I also expect the same in return.
My girlfriend had been asking me very off the wall questions involving being gay/bi. She asked me several questions like: Have I ever considered a same-sex experience? Have I ever actually felt sexually attracted to other men in some form? Have I actually ever HAD a same-sex experience? The list goes on. The blunt truth is that I lied to her. I answered no to all of those questions she asked me. In all honesty, I have had several same-sex experiences in my life. I am a 20 year old male from the United States. I identify myself as straight, which is very true. But when I was in high school, before my relationship with my current girlfriend, I experimented a little bit, only with one of my best friends from my childhood. Nobody else. I have given and received a handjob and a blowjob with him, and also have had (protected) anal sex with him, both giving and receiving. We experimented sporadically over the course of freshman-junior year. When I started dating my girlfriend, we stopped completely. Why wouldn't I? I would never cheat on my girlfriend, the thought had never crossed my mind.
I just always kept these things between my best friend and I. It was nobodies business, right? A man is entitled to some secrets from his past, is he not? I am straight, but I have just experimented in the past a little bit. As I said, I have a very open mind about sexuality. How are you supposed to know that you don't like or prefer something if you never try it at least once? At least that's how I think about it. I am also a supporter of the idea that it is human nature to be curious at some point in our lives about the same-sex. I am a firm believer that nobody is 100% gay, or 100% straight. It all comes down to preference and stuff. There is no shame in trying something at least once, given the fact that respect is given and cheating isn't involved, etc.
I just can't help but feel bad for lying to her. I am not necessarily ashamed of my same-sex experiences, but I just never felt comfortable openly discussing them with people in general. It was always a hush-hush type of thing that is private. I feel that she has a right to know my sexual history, at least. I should have been honest with her in the first place. But I guess I feel that I was put on the spot, and I reacted badly to it by lying to her face. I'm the guilty type, can you tell?
On another note, I asked her the same questions. She answered no to them as well. But there was something that was off about her reply. I know her very well and I can tell when she is withholding information or lying to me for the most part. I have reason to believe that she may have had a similar situation and experience with her own best friend from childhood. She had told me that they would usually take showers together during sleepovers in high school in an effort to "save hot water" and she swore to me that she never once considered having a same-sex experience.
Here's where things get interesting. About 3 weeks ago, I had jumped on my girlfriend's laptop while she was at work. Mine was in the other room and completely dead anyway, so I just used hers. I am not the snooping type at all, but I had accidentally discovered some porn videos in her browser history. I thought to myself, "Okay, she watched porn recently. No big deal.". She has never been the porn watching type of person at all. But, interestingly, I was a little shocked at the actual type of porn she was watching. She had been watching several videos of other women masturbating solo, using dildos, vibrators, and all that. She had watched a few videos of lesbians having sex with strap-on dildos as well. There was even some male-male gay porn she had watched.
This is all just so strange to me. We are very open about our sex life, for the most part. But I can't help but feel that there is a side to her that I have yet to see and experience for myself. She's never been a sneaky and secret person. I suppose that both of us have secrets that should probably be talked about at some point. I really can't complain about this because I have my own secrets that she has no idea about.
I guess, the reason I am typing this post is because I need advice. What would the rest of you do if you were in this situation? I don't feel that there is any bad issue. I just would like to know some answers to some things, but I'm not sure how to go about approaching her about things like this. My curiosity is getting the best of me at the moment. On top of that, I have no clue how she would react if I told her about my own past experiences. It's all just so touchy, I guess.
Let me know what you would do and what you think about all of this.
Thanks!
Anyway, I'm just going to start digging right in to the details of this little "thing" that's been going on with my girlfriend and I recently.
Just last night, my girlfriend of 3 years and I were having one of our very long and interesting general discussions that happen every once in a while. It's just a thing we do. We just suddenly start talking and discussing a wide range of different topics, offering opinions, giving input, etc. Somehow, sex became the topic of the night. We just started rattling on about sexuality in general and stuff like that. We ended up talking about a lot of different things from sex positions, past experiences, and so on. Homosexuality, for some reason, was being talked about and mentioned quite frequently.
Personally, I have always been a very sexually open minded person. I am a little bit of a gay-rights activist, but I am a straight man. I have never had any issue or problem with the LGBT community and I fully support their rights and all that good stuff and respect them to the fullest extent. I also expect the same in return.
My girlfriend had been asking me very off the wall questions involving being gay/bi. She asked me several questions like: Have I ever considered a same-sex experience? Have I ever actually felt sexually attracted to other men in some form? Have I actually ever HAD a same-sex experience? The list goes on. The blunt truth is that I lied to her. I answered no to all of those questions she asked me. In all honesty, I have had several same-sex experiences in my life. I am a 20 year old male from the United States. I identify myself as straight, which is very true. But when I was in high school, before my relationship with my current girlfriend, I experimented a little bit, only with one of my best friends from my childhood. Nobody else. I have given and received a handjob and a blowjob with him, and also have had (protected) anal sex with him, both giving and receiving. We experimented sporadically over the course of freshman-junior year. When I started dating my girlfriend, we stopped completely. Why wouldn't I? I would never cheat on my girlfriend, the thought had never crossed my mind.
I just always kept these things between my best friend and I. It was nobodies business, right? A man is entitled to some secrets from his past, is he not? I am straight, but I have just experimented in the past a little bit. As I said, I have a very open mind about sexuality. How are you supposed to know that you don't like or prefer something if you never try it at least once? At least that's how I think about it. I am also a supporter of the idea that it is human nature to be curious at some point in our lives about the same-sex. I am a firm believer that nobody is 100% gay, or 100% straight. It all comes down to preference and stuff. There is no shame in trying something at least once, given the fact that respect is given and cheating isn't involved, etc.
I just can't help but feel bad for lying to her. I am not necessarily ashamed of my same-sex experiences, but I just never felt comfortable openly discussing them with people in general. It was always a hush-hush type of thing that is private. I feel that she has a right to know my sexual history, at least. I should have been honest with her in the first place. But I guess I feel that I was put on the spot, and I reacted badly to it by lying to her face. I'm the guilty type, can you tell?
On another note, I asked her the same questions. She answered no to them as well. But there was something that was off about her reply. I know her very well and I can tell when she is withholding information or lying to me for the most part. I have reason to believe that she may have had a similar situation and experience with her own best friend from childhood. She had told me that they would usually take showers together during sleepovers in high school in an effort to "save hot water" and she swore to me that she never once considered having a same-sex experience.
Here's where things get interesting. About 3 weeks ago, I had jumped on my girlfriend's laptop while she was at work. Mine was in the other room and completely dead anyway, so I just used hers. I am not the snooping type at all, but I had accidentally discovered some porn videos in her browser history. I thought to myself, "Okay, she watched porn recently. No big deal.". She has never been the porn watching type of person at all. But, interestingly, I was a little shocked at the actual type of porn she was watching. She had been watching several videos of other women masturbating solo, using dildos, vibrators, and all that. She had watched a few videos of lesbians having sex with strap-on dildos as well. There was even some male-male gay porn she had watched.
This is all just so strange to me. We are very open about our sex life, for the most part. But I can't help but feel that there is a side to her that I have yet to see and experience for myself. She's never been a sneaky and secret person. I suppose that both of us have secrets that should probably be talked about at some point. I really can't complain about this because I have my own secrets that she has no idea about.
I guess, the reason I am typing this post is because I need advice. What would the rest of you do if you were in this situation? I don't feel that there is any bad issue. I just would like to know some answers to some things, but I'm not sure how to go about approaching her about things like this. My curiosity is getting the best of me at the moment. On top of that, I have no clue how she would react if I told her about my own past experiences. It's all just so touchy, I guess.
Let me know what you would do and what you think about all of this.
Thanks!
