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Getting girl to accept and surrender to male dominance?

Y

YaBa

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 8, 2013
Messages
39
I've just recently met awesome girl who I'm greatly interested.

One thing what I really love about her is her natural way of enjoying submission/dominance emotionally and sexually. She has been quite shy about it, and for example when I just slightly dominated her when receiving oral and tried to touch her, she pulled herself away and tried to stop me. I asked what's wrong and she says that she feels ashamed because she was so horny and wet. I've tried to talk with her about it that there's nothing to be ashamed and I actually love that part in her, but she's letting herself go really slowly.

So I thought I'd ask here if girls could try to help me or just someone has more experience of dominant/submissive relationship and how to get these started. Would like to know any tips or hints how to get her open up more and be more slutty/submissive?

Other question I have is that how to actually get her into sub/dom lifestyle full time? I have never had real sub/dom relationship, but would love to see how it goes and as I see it, this girl would probably be naturally happy in such relationship - and who knows, maybe I'd be also.

Any input appreciated.
 
every girl is like that at heart you just have to access her inner slut.
spank her when she is bad, and reward her by letting her give you blowjobs when she is good.
she'll catch on
 
It's all about trust. She has to trust you enough to let you have her in that manner. Just build up the relationship naturally and see where it goes from there. You may also want to search for a few books on the matter if you're looking to make it into a lifestyle.
 
BornAgainYogi said:
You may also want to search for a few books on the matter if you're looking to make it into a lifestyle.
Click to expand...

so maybe slip a copy of 50 Shades of Grey under her pillow??

haha - just joking. my friend, yours is a great "problem" to have. as said before, trust plays an integral part of a sub/dom relationship. and once you get there, you have to gradually start being more & more domineering, sexually. it sounds like she would love that

for example: when you get home from work you can tell her how sexy she looks and then start forcefully making out with her, at times shoving your tongue down her throat, while simultaneously directing her to the bed. be the active participant (read: dominant) in short, but various episodes of foreplay. for example: sit her down and shove half of your dick down your mouth while spreading her legs with your other hand and getting her wet and lightly playing with her clit. between every foreplay episode tell her that she's a bad girl for being so easy, and that she should be ashamed as to how wet she is

always be talking to her - I'm sure she will like that, too. next, tell her that bad girls get fucked from behind and forcefully bend her over while smashing it, simultaneously smacking her ass or giving her a quick lil hair pull

.... or something like that. I dunno, it's late and I'm super high, and I just went with it (I like this kinda thing ;))
 
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axl blaze said:
when you get home from work you can tell her how sexy she looks and then start forcefully making out with her, at times shoving your tongue down her throat, while simultaneously directing her to the bed. be the active participant (read: dominant) in short, but various episodes of foreplay. for example: sit her down and shove half of your dick down your mouth while spreading her legs with your other hand and getting her wet and lightly playing with her clit. between every foreplay episode tell her that she's a bad girl for being so easy, and that she should be ashamed as to how wet she is

always be talking to her - I'm sure she will like that, too. next, tell her that bad girls get fucked from behind and forcefully bend her over while smashing it, simultaneously smacking her ass or giving her a quick lil hair pull
Click to expand...

This made me hornier than I would like to admit 8o

OP I think that you should first have a good talk to your lady. Let her know that there is nothing to be ashamed of, you find it a massive turn on and being dominated is a VERY common fantasy amongst both men and women. I think that you should work towards getting her comfortable with being dominated during sex before introducing dom/sub roles to the everyday relationship. Just keep working on making her feel comfortable with her sexuality and expanding your dominance in the bedroom. Once she removes her inhibitions I think she will find that she loves it, there's no shame in enjoying being dominated/treated like a total whore.
When she is comfortable with being completely submissive to you during sex then you can have the conversation with her about extending your roles outside of sex. Good luck!
 
BornAgainYogi said:
It's all about trust. She has to trust you enough to let you have her in that manner. Just build up the relationship naturally and see where it goes from there.
Click to expand...

Yeah, you have to be really tender and then bring on that passion. Then she'll WANT to give herself back to you.

Also, you could probably lay off the need to dominate her a little too. Nothing wrong with it, you just have to give it time to grow.
 
kaya_9 said:
Yeah, you have to be really tender and then bring on that passion. Then she'll WANT to give herself back to you.

Also, you could probably lay off the need to dominate her a little too. Nothing wrong with it, you just have to give it time to grow.
Click to expand...

Tender??? I don't think that's what OP is getting at... sadistism sexual domination shouldn't involve tenderness...
 
Trying2Iso said:
Tender??? I don't think that's what OP is getting at... sadistism sexual domination shouldn't involve tenderness...
Click to expand...

Ha..you're not getting what I'm saying then...You have to build that up...not just start slamming a cock down her throat..she'll wig out for sure..got to bring it out naturally...then BAM...she'll be wanting to please you any way she can....then you can set in with the kink...just sayin'...coming from a female perspective..

At any rate...sounds like more than just a good fuck from the OP.
 
Well i used to be very dominant but only to protect myself. I was raped so i always wanted to be in charge to keep myself safe. But then i got with an older man and i felt the need to be submissive but i forced myself to keep control but one day he seduced me into being submissive. He teased me, but wouldnt let me cum or touch myself. It drove me crazy it brought me to a point of total sexual submission i would do anything he said. But you have to make sure your girl trusts you Dom/sub relationships rely on trust and without trust these relationships fail. She has to completely let go of her doubts and trust you completely in every aspect of life. Maybe to get her into this lifestyle you should ease into it and explain how she can trust you insure her that she can trust you with her life. Tell her things you wouldnt tell anyone and ask her about her life and secrets. Show her you are reliable and keep your word. if you say you will take her out to dinner do it. idk if this helps i think i ended up rambling
 
Lol. I chuckled at your title. You can't get someone to do shit. They need to WANT to do it.
 
Build up the trust/relationship more. This is going to be really easy for you though especially considering 50 Shades is so popular right now. Take her to see it. Suggest you two also try the same. She will go for it I'm pretty sure.
 
Yes it's all about trust! As soon as she trusts u... It will slowly come! Coming from a girl... I'm almost in the same situation.... I've been dating this guy for 6 months now and I can tell he wants to be dom and me sub. He had to slowly work me into it and I had to trust him. I've been raped before and had only been w a few ppl bc of it. I remember at one point, to early, he tried to do something (I won't say what) and I freaked the fuck out and screamed at him and literally left! I didn't trust him enough at that moment and I thought he was trying to like demoralize me or embarrass me or something

I latered learned that that wasn't the case. I told him that he needed to take steps. That u have to work ur way up. So that's what he's been doin

So each time or so, he'll throw a new move in or ask me to do something and I'm into it and do it bc I now trust him. I've never done half that stuff w my last partner bc I didn't trust him!
 
I love being dominated. It's all about the trust. Talk to each other to make each other comfortable with it. In return, my man also gives me the chance to dominate him too.
 
So, I am a newbie Sub about to meet my potential Dom Friday. I'm a little afraid and need some guidance. He turns me on (so far) with words and videos. I've squirted twice for him (first time that has happened!) He has video. How do I set some limits but also see his needs. He is taking me to dinner and then for a ride. I can't be completely submissive until I feel safe. Want to totally give him what he wants. And I will be a total sub... Any advice from other Doms appreciated.....
 
I don't have a ton of experience BUT just go slowly. Very slowly. Because it's all new to her. And maybe she won't like one of the thing; well there are a ton of things you can do. She'll have her limits and let you know as long as you go slow and make sure you let her know it's safe and all is good. Going slow is key and being aware of her "signs" if she isn't enjoying it.
 
You can't force her in to it. Maybe give her literature or links to forum posts 'newbie subs information' for example, or BDSM guide posts, but you can not force her in to it because then it's not a natural sub because she doesn't want to do it, I. E. It doesn't feel natural to her. She has to reprogram her brain, depending on her life experience it may be easy or hard to feel comfortable with her true sexuality.

Also, you may be reading it wrong and she really is not in to it. Only she knows what she wants.

Speaking as a woman, we are brain washed by society to automatically shut down when we are sexually enjoying ourselves. That's why the female orgasm is so elusive(also men just don't know what they are doing or don't care. But recipe for female orgasm is easy if our minds are open and relaxed).

Personally, it took me many years of therapy for childhood sexual abuse to come into my inner brat/slave/switch. So much therapy, re programming my brain, I am still doing to this day. Women have the short end of the stick.
 
People are like onions with layers, so you never know what will be revealed once the layer is shed.

So guys push a woman to her limits and the pull her closer with warmth and love. She will definitely love that.

And always understand that a NO MEANS NO and if you go further then its Rape.
 
True dominance is about being second not first. You can receive submission but never take it. Being in control and worthy of the trust another person places in you means you call the shots but it has to be all about the other person. Are you the guide/teacher/lover that is needed? It is powerful, but if all you seek is to be powerful over another then that is something else.
If someone is submissive because of trust it should be rewarded with all of the best things and interests this life can offer. If someone is submissive for any other reason than complete trust then you are taking advantage of something precious and you need to know the difference. It is a fine line make sure you don't cross it.
 
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