Tapering Fuck! This is hard....

[geekgrl]

What i wouldn't give for something to take yhe edge off right now. Just reading about IV'ing made me feel far too good about it.... I crave the needle as much as the drug today. The brain is a weird thing

 

[somnilicious]

It is the pavlovian response or association, once you retrain your brain to reassociate normal life experiences with pleasure it gets easier. It is still always difficult to deal with life on life's terms as I keep relapsing. Can you get benzos or gabapentin to help with anxiety "the edge"?

 

[geekgrl]

I'm already on 600mg a day of pregablin for phantom pains and neuralgia. Had a couple of benzos for sleeping first couple of days but they make me so depressed I've learned to try avoid them so I dont do something daft, you know?

I have a lot of weed to smoke and I'm hoping to level out a bit. I've got a few busy days ahead hope that keeps me busy. It's more a psychological thing which needs retraining. Today feels like the hardest craving wise.... I miss drugs. Any drug. But after a two year binge following my heroin honeymoon I guess this is natural. Stupid brain stupid neurotransmitters and chemicals. I go from wanting to nod out to something nice, to wanting a bit of coke just to help me with the weekend, to thinkkng about something like dmt, then remembering my stash of mushrooms, or what other meds are in the house. Just a little pick me up would be so so nice right now...... Or how many oxycodone I would have to take to get some form of effect? Sigh. Ad infinitum.

At least all the IV stuff has gone so thats one less worrying thing.

I just want to say 'for heaven's sake girl, pull yourself together!'

 

[Painful One]

Sounds like you are making progress!

I am really proud of you!
What you are doing is tough. But you are tougher!
The more you just keep resisting that urge the easier it will become.
I have faith in you.

You can do this!

Try to keep yourself busy. Distraction is a good thing right now.
Find a good Netflix show and binge out.
Keep your mind busy on other things.

Hang in there! It is going to be worth it!

Sending you Love and Encouragement!

 

[Hylight]

thank you PO for always sending your encouragement ♡

it always helps again

 

[geekgrl]

Aww thank you. Everyone has been so nice to me and I feel like I'm around people who get it and I think that is really going to help me. Its 7pm, my housemate is home, I feel like I nearly made it through day 7! Thanks everyone, and PO especially for such words of encouragement.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Keep going you can do it!

 

[geekgrl]

Keep going you can do it!

Thank you Capt. H.