To my Dear Friends and Family and all the other Normal People in my Life, Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand: These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me. Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem like much fun to be with, but I'm still me, stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, my family, my friends, and most of the time; I'd still like to hear you talk about yours, too. Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That’s all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!" I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome. Please understand that being able to stand up for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn't mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one, it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain. Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "concentrating", "being sociable" and so on, it applies to everything. That's what chronic pain does to you. Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It's quite possible (for many, it's common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying, "But you did it before!" or "Oh, come on, I know you can do this!" If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are, to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do. Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise, or do some things to "get my mind off of it", may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct. If I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctors and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, try harder". Obviously, chronic pain can deal with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense You can't always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression. Please understand that if I say I have to sit down, lie down, stay in bed, or smoke a joint in public that probably means that I do have to do it right now, it can't be put off or forgotten just because I'm somewhere, or I'm right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone. If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don't want to get well. Lord knows that isn't true. In all likelihood, if you've heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions, as is the case with herbal remedies. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we'd know about it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It's definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor. If I seem touchy, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try understand in general. In many ways I depend on you, people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out. Sometimes I need you to help me with the shopping, the cooking or the cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or to the store. You are my link to the "normalcy" of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to undertake again, just as soon as I am able. I know that I asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot Cannabis takes the edge of my pain Helps me get through my days It is about the only relief I get If you can relate to the words above And have not tried cannabis It’s about time you did!! IT WILL
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BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic
From Someone With Chronic Pain
- Thread starter superchen
- Start date
Chronic Pain
I found this on another forum and thought it may help some people.
Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed.
In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand ...
... These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me...
Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem like much fun to be with, but I'm still me-- stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, my family, my friends, and most of the time - I'd still like to hear you talk about yours, too.
Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!¨ I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome.
Please understand that being able to stand up for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn't mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one, it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.
Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "concentrating", "being sociable" and so on ... it applies to everything. That's what chronic pain does to you.
Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It's quite possible (for many, it's common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying, "But you did it before!" or Oh, come on, I know you can do this!" If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are--to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.
Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise, or do some things to get my mind off of it¨ may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct if I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, try harder..." Obviously, chronic pain can deal with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can't always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression.
Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/stay in bed/or take these pills now, that probably means that I do have to do it right now - it can't be put off or forgotten just because I'm somewhere, or am right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.
If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don't want to get well. Lord knows that isn't true. In all likelihood, if you've heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we'd know about it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It's definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.
If I seem touchy, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding in general.
In many ways I depend on you - people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out... Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or to the store. You are my link to the normalcy of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to undertake again, just as soon as I am able.
I know that I have asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
**********************************
I found this on another forum and thought it may help some people.
Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed.
In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand ...
... These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me...
Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem like much fun to be with, but I'm still me-- stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, my family, my friends, and most of the time - I'd still like to hear you talk about yours, too.
Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!¨ I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome.
Please understand that being able to stand up for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn't mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one, it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.
Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "concentrating", "being sociable" and so on ... it applies to everything. That's what chronic pain does to you.
Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It's quite possible (for many, it's common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying, "But you did it before!" or Oh, come on, I know you can do this!" If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are--to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.
Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise, or do some things to get my mind off of it¨ may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct if I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, try harder..." Obviously, chronic pain can deal with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can't always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression.
Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/stay in bed/or take these pills now, that probably means that I do have to do it right now - it can't be put off or forgotten just because I'm somewhere, or am right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.
If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don't want to get well. Lord knows that isn't true. In all likelihood, if you've heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we'd know about it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It's definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.
If I seem touchy, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding in general.
In many ways I depend on you - people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out... Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor, or to the store. You are my link to the normalcy of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to undertake again, just as soon as I am able.
I know that I have asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
**********************************
Great piece about an overlooked and misunderstood condition.
I've had chronic pain for 16 years and it is a hell of a thing to have your own nervous system basically turn against you. As for a "cure", LOL...docs still only have a rudimentary understanding of why this happens to some people and not others, and why it happens at all.
I've had chronic pain for 16 years and it is a hell of a thing to have your own nervous system basically turn against you. As for a "cure", LOL...docs still only have a rudimentary understanding of why this happens to some people and not others, and why it happens at all.
SmellyOldWasp
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2015
- Messages
- 30
Trying to read this wall of text was an experience of chronic pain.
chase_in_56ace
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2010
- Messages
- 587
Nobody's gonna read that, might wanna delete this thread
aspiringchemist
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2015
- Messages
- 463
I relate to that statement very much. I feel immense guilt, shame and depression around my chronic pain and how it has consumed my life, my families lives, my co workers etc. I hate being "the sick guy".
What's worse is the anti narcotic movement and the almost impossibility of receiving adequate pain management, and if you do, not being labeled an addict etc.
It upsets me when doctors say things like you mentioned "try harder" "that can't cause pain" "this is your new baseline" "push yourself".
Since I've become ill 4 years ago I've quit a decade long pack a day cigarette habit, dropped 90lbs (partially by choice, partially by illness), completely changed my diet and nutrition habits, stopped drinking to excess, picked up yoga and meditation - I do them daily and have to or I lose it.
The mental struggle is almost worse than the physical pain and then to have it be dismissed is soul crushing.
What I don't understand is why opioids cannot be used in conjunction with these Tx options? Logically I know they can and are, it's more a philosophical question for the powers that be.
I function with narcotics, my life is better, I can work and be productive, I can be a husband and son, I can be there and not in bed, the fetal position, or shitting all the liquid out of my body literally.
Yet this is somehow morally wrong these days...I think it's morally wrong to be a provider, recognize the pain, and not treat it appropriately, or to label as drug seeking etc
What's worse is the anti narcotic movement and the almost impossibility of receiving adequate pain management, and if you do, not being labeled an addict etc.
It upsets me when doctors say things like you mentioned "try harder" "that can't cause pain" "this is your new baseline" "push yourself".
Since I've become ill 4 years ago I've quit a decade long pack a day cigarette habit, dropped 90lbs (partially by choice, partially by illness), completely changed my diet and nutrition habits, stopped drinking to excess, picked up yoga and meditation - I do them daily and have to or I lose it.
The mental struggle is almost worse than the physical pain and then to have it be dismissed is soul crushing.
What I don't understand is why opioids cannot be used in conjunction with these Tx options? Logically I know they can and are, it's more a philosophical question for the powers that be.
I function with narcotics, my life is better, I can work and be productive, I can be a husband and son, I can be there and not in bed, the fetal position, or shitting all the liquid out of my body literally.
Yet this is somehow morally wrong these days...I think it's morally wrong to be a provider, recognize the pain, and not treat it appropriately, or to label as drug seeking etc
Speed King
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Messages
- 6,074
TL for sure. How I reminess.
superchen, Speed much ?? Paragraphs please. Please edit your post.
So let me understand this: "We" with or without chronic pain, don't understand how chronic pain really feels.
You also make a comparison to cancer.
I almost get that point, but cancer has a added element that, unless you experienced cancer pain, you cannot compare the two. They are different. Two different levels.
My eyes were ready to bleed near the end of the wall of text. Please edit.
After 3,000 words, your whole point is that cannabis can take care of all types of pain.
I have felt like your text and somehow can relate. I also wanted to discuss medicinal cannabis in conjunction with other drugs. I will keep this thread open.
that being said,
If anything, most of us CAN relate to chronic pain. Any working man or woman gets it, even to an extreme level.
Anyone who has had a headache or espically a hang over, will at least get the fact that it exists and can be torture.
I, like many others believe cannabis can help many types of pain both mental and physical.
However, that can only remain a suggestion. It can not be a blanket statement. Based on my own scientific research, there is a solid percent of people who just can't have it for reasons from mental issues, immaturity, being naive, medical complications, just because, etc.
Cannabis definitely effects key parts of our chemical makeup. Unless some people are in patient being treated, they should never be allowed to have it.
We all know that discoveries are made and things can change.
I use cannabis for pain. Working cannabis into existing medicine usage can be a little rough. That was my biggest issue with stopping opiate pain treatment. Sometimes you have to re calibrate your dosages.
Example. I take Dexedrine. Now if I time/mistime the dosing of the amphetamine with cannabis, I either magnify the speed or bring myself down quickly. Things like that.
I seem to have now found a balance with my medication and cannabis.
So, before any stoners pipe up, I am examining this from a medical standpoint.
OP, please read forum guidelines before posting
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Good post op. Don't mind the spoiled, it was easy enough to read. You have a very valid point. Most people do not understand chronic pain. They know it exist but I've seen first hand where they judge before finding any facts. Good luck! Hope you get better soon.
OntarioGuy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2008
- Messages
- 1,887
I see no harm reduction in this at all...I see threads with heaps more HR potential than this one being closed....take it to your journal
keeping
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2014
- Messages
- 4,680
my man
i've got nothing against these types of posts but they belong in the social areas or, as ontguy mentioned, your journal/blog.
this space is for questions.
kleinerkiffer
Bluelight Crew
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- Dec 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,702
Od -> BDD
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2010
- Messages
- 7,548
Nobody thinks that being sick doesn't make you a human being. This is pretty sad, but I feel that it's human nature to care for the ones we care about when they are down or in a bad situation, but, I also think that it's human nature to tire of having to deal with that shit. It's like nature says, "this person's not getting any better with your help, move on". People love to claim empathy and love, but when serious depression, pain or illness comes around, their true colors often show.