My drug of choice is poppy tea, I do it 2 or 3 times a week now for the past 2 years. There has been a shortage and I have had to abstain for a month. I don't know if it's PAWS but it seems like this is the worse depression and anhedonia I've ever had in my life. I started up again a few days ago because my source came back but i still feel empty inside after getting high. I have been drinking every night to compensate as well, three standard drinks. I don't know if I can really blame it on that though I don't feel better when i drink or use any sort of drug anymore, in fact I feel even worse but it's something. I'm only getting high now out of habit.
Being clean brought up a lot of old emotions and feelings that I've been covering up all my life... is it that? Because these feelings are to near suicidal, not wanting to get out of bed; neglecting my hygiene and health levels. Does it go away?
I have forced myself to go out and walk, lift weights, eat healthy, meditate, and other recommended thing but it doesn't help.
Being clean brought up a lot of old emotions and feelings that I've been covering up all my life... is it that? Because these feelings are to near suicidal, not wanting to get out of bed; neglecting my hygiene and health levels. Does it go away?
I have forced myself to go out and walk, lift weights, eat healthy, meditate, and other recommended thing but it doesn't help.
