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Finding it hard to make local friends abroad

Flow

Flow

Bluelighter
Joined
May 7, 2012
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I'll start with a little background about myself! I'm 19 and I moved from the US (Nebraska, to be more specific) to England to study graphic design at university. I've been here for a year and I still have 2 more years until I graduate. So far I have found it SO HARD to make friends with the locals here! Although I have have had no problem at all making friends with other internationals - people from Spain, France, Indonesia, Australia, Estonia, and the list goes on... But the sad thing about those people is that they are usually on a shorter program than me, and end up leaving while I remain here.


I can honestly say that I do not have one single English friend! I've made countless efforts to initiate plans, and sometimes they happen, but that action is never reciprocated. I just get the feeling that they aren't interested in getting to know me at all, whereas I am always trying to meet new people and learn what they're all about. I feel like their interactions with me are superficial - like they're just trying to be polite out of formality. What's the deal? Can anyone else speak from experience? I'm so baffled because I have tons of friends back home. In fact, people go out of their way to be friendly and accommodating. I have not felt that once since I've been in England. I'm truly at a loss! Does anyone have any answers?

:?
 
Well people from that area likely already have their friends so they aren't looking for other friends. That is what happens when people already have an established group of friends. International students are all in the same situation. You already have a reason to bond with these people. They are also looking for friends.
I'm not saying all locals are like this but that is one reason why not all of them are super friendly.

I don't know about the country specifically but I did notice that in both my college and university.

You may be able to make friends with people from different parts of England. Not necessarily locals but people who still have to move away from their hometown to go to school.
 
Flow said:
I'll start with a little background about myself! I'm 19 and I moved from the US (Nebraska, to be more specific) to England to study graphic design at university. I've been here for a year and I still have 2 more years until I graduate. So far I have found it SO HARD to make friends with the locals here! Although I have have had no problem at all making friends with other internationals - people from Spain, France, Indonesia, Australia, Estonia, and the list goes on... But the sad thing about those people is that they are usually on a shorter program than me, and end up leaving while I remain here.


I can honestly say that I do not have one single English friend! I've made countless efforts to initiate plans, and sometimes they happen, but that action is never reciprocated. I just get the feeling that they aren't interested in getting to know me at all, whereas I am always trying to meet new people and learn what they're all about. I feel like their interactions with me are superficial - like they're just trying to be polite out of formality. What's the deal? Can anyone else speak from experience? I'm so baffled because I have tons of friends back home. In fact, people go out of their way to be friendly and accommodating. I have not felt that once since I've been in England. I'm truly at a loss! Does anyone have any answers?

:?
Click to expand...


Where in the UK are you ? Have you popped into the European section and said hello ? It varies so much from City to City in the UK - what are your non studies interests, are there any social clubs that you could attend (and maybe meet people). Local student bars are also a great way to meet people but may take a bit of work on your behalf (if your sitting by yourself you will not meet people).
 
where are you? the size of the town/city dictates the friendliness.

london is very unfriendly and hard to break into good social relationships.

give me this info please

clubs and hobbies get you out and being sociable

people who moved from their home country are generally more outgoing anyway as a trait for behaviour so dont be getting too bogged down in that.

i found nearly all my friends in london came from living in a shared house with a variety of people
 
I am from London and the English are generally more introverted, reserved and shy than Americans. It may take you some more time but you should be able to find some of those natives with whom enjoyable times can be spent.

Being from somewhere like Nebraska, it must be amusing to be from somewhere so far and unfamiliar to the English, but also culturally quite similar, so quite a funny starting point methinks. :D

The UK is such an 'international country' with many foreign students and EU migrants, I suppose it makes sense that many of those you meet are in a similar situation and thus you would make friends more quickly. Good luck finding some choice natives. <3
 
I'm in Newcastle upon Tyne so there are plenty of people to hang out with! And yeah when I said local I meant anyone from England really, not just limited to Newcastle. I'd be more than happy to make friends with students and people from all over the country :) I'm just surprised because back home I socialize with multiple people on a daily basis. So it's been quite the wake up call to say the least!

The people in my classes are nice enough to talk to me and they'll throw parties that I go to from time to time, but it never really goes any further than that. I'm trying to get into some more hobbies this year so hopefully that will help. I guess I'm looking for close friendships over acquaintances, but maybe I just won't be here long enough to accomplish that. I go home in the winter for a month, and 4 months in the summer every year. I graduate in May 2016 so honestly I don't have that much longer!
 
Do you understand what people are saying to you, or do you find the accent difficult? Geordie folk are usually pretty much up front, more so than many English people. Maybe they are bit frightened of you? They seem to be making an effort to include you in parties and things, perhaps you simply have other expectations than they do. Hope you do hook up eventually, but ...
 
Flow said:
I graduate in May 2016 so honestly I don't have that much longer!
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you seem to have let a negative attitude tinge your thinking. i felt like this after moving to london but really i do have friends now but it takes time.

close friends are hard to make but have a bit of faith. also being needy is offputting. jus sayin from personal experience and i have had times of few friends and lots depending on where i was living.

if you live in a house with people you like with a living room to chill in that will provide a lot of company. thats what you need

be more positive and feel confident and social and it will attract people
 
Bearlove said:
Where in the UK are you ? Have you popped into the European section and said hello ? It varies so much from City to City in the UK - what are your non studies interests, are there any social clubs that you could attend (and maybe meet people). Local student bars are also a great way to meet people but may take a bit of work on your behalf (if your sitting by yourself you will not meet people).
Click to expand...
Yep, this, especially the bit about posting in European and African Drug Discussion.. come say ello. Also joining student clubs/associations for any sports/hobbies/interests you have is a great way of meeting people.
 
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