I?ve been reading posts from this website for the past year now, ever since I started just smoking weed. Convinced myself I wouldn?t do anything else because it didn?t interest me. Few months down the road and I?m on here searching up acid, shrooms, and plenty others.
Anyways, I recently had surgery just for a problem with my foot, and like I knew would happen, I was given hydrocodone 5-325. Before this, my only experience with pills were Xanax (which I had tried 3 times, the first two were fake and the third didn?t reallt effect me) and two 7.5-325 (I believe) hydro pills that I found in my house left over. It had been a while since I took the hydros so I don?t remember the high too well, besides it didn?t last that long and all I got was I couldn?t stop smiling, and I felt light.
From the moment I got the pills I knew I?d end up abusing them. The first day I took 5 over a period of 6 hours, mixed with the anesthesia from the surgery I was loopy, so I couldn?t mark off what I felt from the hydro and what I felt from the surgery. But I have a video of myself shoving a tack in my nose (my piercing had closed up due to taking out the stud during surgery) with no reaction on my face, as well as me walking on my foot (the one I had just had surgery on 7 hours prior! Jeez I was fucked up) and not even stumbling.
In the morning, I woke up with unbearable pain and popped two more as I couldn?t even think. Even then, the pain was still there. I stayed taking two for the first couple days due to the pain, but after then is when I took them for fun. I found that 3 put me at a decent place, happy and content. I got much more open with my emotions and would message my friends cute things just to remind them I loved them.
And then before that bottle even ran out, I was able to get a refill (20 more).
Since I knew it?d be my last bottle, I did my best to save it. Took 3 before on a concert (on an empty stomach) I had, since it had only been a week after my surgery, and I remember feeling more drunk than anything.
After that, I tried to only take it when I needed it. Taking off for a few days during school and then repeating when I had time or wanted to be high. I figured since I wasn?t taking them every day, it wouldn?t avoid an addiction (silly me). For the most part I stayed to taking 3 at a time, taking 4 on a whim when I really wanted to feel something, but they still didn?t get me feeling ?fucked up?.
Then a weekend came and shit went down in my life, I had plans to hangout with a close friend (ironically we planned on taking a few hydros and smoking) and yet I was bailed on. Ended up taking a two hour train ride home and after getting home, I locked myself in my room and once the time reached around 3am, took 4 hydros. I got happy, carefree, and couldn?t give a fuck about my shit day. As i tend to be with alcohol, I feared the feeling would go away too soon, so I thought one more couldn?t hurt. It had been an hour since I took the 4, and taking 1 more ended up being 2 more.
The high wasn?t really something I remember. Granted it was 3am, but the hydro definitely had me nodding off. I was the only one awake so I?m unsure how delirious I was, but I remember only wanting to sleep, but also wanting to ?not waste? the high.
Now, I waited about 5 days before taking anymore, but at the time I didn?t think I was addicted, so if I was withdrawing at the time I don?t remember.
Last Wednesday I was hanging out with some people and found myself irritatable, and not wanting to be, I took 3 hydros. I did it moreso as whenever I smoke with that particular group of people, I find myself pissy, paranoid, and just in general not good.
This is where my withdrawal begins (as I can remember). The days up until now I have had incredibly painful stomach cramps, bad shits, and insanely nauseous. As well as I was having bad depressive episodes and was more irritable than usual (my friend finished my soda and I told him to go fuck himself...) I had just gotten off my period roughly a week before, so although it was weird to me that I was STILL having cramps (which I usually get BEFORE my period), I passed it off as nothing. I am highly addicted to my vape but hitting it on an empty stomach or too much tends to make me nauseous, so I thought nothing of it. The entire break I had been having mental breakdowns due to some shit going on in my life, and I am currently in therapy for my depression, so the fact that it was getting worse wasn?t soemthing new.
It wasn?t until yesterday that I got really worried about all these symptoms. The cramps weren?t going away. I tended to wake up and first thing in the morning it was unbearable cramps. I mean SOBBING pain. I thought back to when my last dose was, as well as a comment a friend of mine had made that Saturday (around the peaking period... about how I looked pale and like I was dying) and quickly did a google search and found all my symptoms matched it up perfectly.
Now, my biggest question is, how do I endure this? The only symptom I haven?t had is a drug craving, although I will admit that I still have 6 pills left, and I wish to get them over with as soon as possible. I know the best decision is throwing them out, but to be straight forward I plan on taking the last bits this weekend. My original plan was all 6, but despite it seeming that I have a higher tolerance, because it has been so long since I took them, I fear 6 is risky. My plan is to take 5 and save the one in case of an emergency.
My biggest problem with the withdrawal (besides it fucking SUCKS) is having to experience it all, and completely alone... My drug ?buddy? (the one I was supposed to dose n toke with) isn?t really around anymore, and very few of my friends know I take hydros. My sister does but she worries too much, will probably send me to the ward, and even some of my friends that I did smoke with have distanced themselves from me ever since my mental health (as well as drug habits) have gotten worse. I have no idea how to go through this not only mentally alone, but physically. As the pain nor depression isn?t going away and people are constantly asking what?s the matter with me. Sometimes I just want to scream that I?m withdrawing and to leave me alone. All of this plus the fact that I am nearing graduation and the stress is at an all time peak.
Anyways, I recently had surgery just for a problem with my foot, and like I knew would happen, I was given hydrocodone 5-325. Before this, my only experience with pills were Xanax (which I had tried 3 times, the first two were fake and the third didn?t reallt effect me) and two 7.5-325 (I believe) hydro pills that I found in my house left over. It had been a while since I took the hydros so I don?t remember the high too well, besides it didn?t last that long and all I got was I couldn?t stop smiling, and I felt light.
From the moment I got the pills I knew I?d end up abusing them. The first day I took 5 over a period of 6 hours, mixed with the anesthesia from the surgery I was loopy, so I couldn?t mark off what I felt from the hydro and what I felt from the surgery. But I have a video of myself shoving a tack in my nose (my piercing had closed up due to taking out the stud during surgery) with no reaction on my face, as well as me walking on my foot (the one I had just had surgery on 7 hours prior! Jeez I was fucked up) and not even stumbling.
In the morning, I woke up with unbearable pain and popped two more as I couldn?t even think. Even then, the pain was still there. I stayed taking two for the first couple days due to the pain, but after then is when I took them for fun. I found that 3 put me at a decent place, happy and content. I got much more open with my emotions and would message my friends cute things just to remind them I loved them.
And then before that bottle even ran out, I was able to get a refill (20 more).
Since I knew it?d be my last bottle, I did my best to save it. Took 3 before on a concert (on an empty stomach) I had, since it had only been a week after my surgery, and I remember feeling more drunk than anything.
After that, I tried to only take it when I needed it. Taking off for a few days during school and then repeating when I had time or wanted to be high. I figured since I wasn?t taking them every day, it wouldn?t avoid an addiction (silly me). For the most part I stayed to taking 3 at a time, taking 4 on a whim when I really wanted to feel something, but they still didn?t get me feeling ?fucked up?.
Then a weekend came and shit went down in my life, I had plans to hangout with a close friend (ironically we planned on taking a few hydros and smoking) and yet I was bailed on. Ended up taking a two hour train ride home and after getting home, I locked myself in my room and once the time reached around 3am, took 4 hydros. I got happy, carefree, and couldn?t give a fuck about my shit day. As i tend to be with alcohol, I feared the feeling would go away too soon, so I thought one more couldn?t hurt. It had been an hour since I took the 4, and taking 1 more ended up being 2 more.
The high wasn?t really something I remember. Granted it was 3am, but the hydro definitely had me nodding off. I was the only one awake so I?m unsure how delirious I was, but I remember only wanting to sleep, but also wanting to ?not waste? the high.
Now, I waited about 5 days before taking anymore, but at the time I didn?t think I was addicted, so if I was withdrawing at the time I don?t remember.
Last Wednesday I was hanging out with some people and found myself irritatable, and not wanting to be, I took 3 hydros. I did it moreso as whenever I smoke with that particular group of people, I find myself pissy, paranoid, and just in general not good.
This is where my withdrawal begins (as I can remember). The days up until now I have had incredibly painful stomach cramps, bad shits, and insanely nauseous. As well as I was having bad depressive episodes and was more irritable than usual (my friend finished my soda and I told him to go fuck himself...) I had just gotten off my period roughly a week before, so although it was weird to me that I was STILL having cramps (which I usually get BEFORE my period), I passed it off as nothing. I am highly addicted to my vape but hitting it on an empty stomach or too much tends to make me nauseous, so I thought nothing of it. The entire break I had been having mental breakdowns due to some shit going on in my life, and I am currently in therapy for my depression, so the fact that it was getting worse wasn?t soemthing new.
It wasn?t until yesterday that I got really worried about all these symptoms. The cramps weren?t going away. I tended to wake up and first thing in the morning it was unbearable cramps. I mean SOBBING pain. I thought back to when my last dose was, as well as a comment a friend of mine had made that Saturday (around the peaking period... about how I looked pale and like I was dying) and quickly did a google search and found all my symptoms matched it up perfectly.
Now, my biggest question is, how do I endure this? The only symptom I haven?t had is a drug craving, although I will admit that I still have 6 pills left, and I wish to get them over with as soon as possible. I know the best decision is throwing them out, but to be straight forward I plan on taking the last bits this weekend. My original plan was all 6, but despite it seeming that I have a higher tolerance, because it has been so long since I took them, I fear 6 is risky. My plan is to take 5 and save the one in case of an emergency.
My biggest problem with the withdrawal (besides it fucking SUCKS) is having to experience it all, and completely alone... My drug ?buddy? (the one I was supposed to dose n toke with) isn?t really around anymore, and very few of my friends know I take hydros. My sister does but she worries too much, will probably send me to the ward, and even some of my friends that I did smoke with have distanced themselves from me ever since my mental health (as well as drug habits) have gotten worse. I have no idea how to go through this not only mentally alone, but physically. As the pain nor depression isn?t going away and people are constantly asking what?s the matter with me. Sometimes I just want to scream that I?m withdrawing and to leave me alone. All of this plus the fact that I am nearing graduation and the stress is at an all time peak.