Hello everyone,
I have a sort of embarrassing question. It may sound weird, but here goes: I'm a fairly good looking 33 years old male. I struggled with low self-esteem for years due to being too skinny (imagine a tall 6'3" dude that weighs 165 lbs) but now that I work out 3x per week, rock climb and watch my food, I dare say I look athletic, with really low bodyfat and my self-esteem is doing better.
I'm currently single and to be honest, I really enjoy it. I'm exceptionally independent and even though I love being around friends, I'm completely opposite of shy and I love meeting new people, I also need to be alone to "recharge my batteries". I really need a lot of "alone time". Living with a woman is out of the question for me and having kids even more so.
Eve having a girlfriend would not make me happy: I have no space for a girlfriend in my life. I have my hobbies, sports and occupations and I don't really want to sacrifice time I spend on that for a woman. It would only make me and her unhappy.
I've had a girlfriend for about a year and to be honest, I enjoyed having sex with her a lot and we had plenty of it, but spending time with her outside of sex annoyed me. After having sex, I often just wanted to say bye and go home. I also feel no need to have a woman in my life and I fele that trying to find a girlfriend now would feel like if I'm just forcing myself to do something just to "fit in the image of a normal 33 year old guy with wife and kids" so I said "screw this crap" and decided to look for a woman when I'm damn ready for it.
The only thing I miss from having a girlfriend, is the sex. The pure physical pleasure of having sex. I'm not even missing the cuddling afterwards and the "post-sex talk", I just miss the physical pleasure of foreplay and the sex itself.
I don't need to have any love to be present in sex. If there's mutual respect and mutual consent and I find the woman in question physically attractive, that's all I need to get it up. I always found it strange that I don't necessarily need to be in love to enjoy sex. Hell, I can get a boner and have sex with a complete stranger, provided there's mutual respect and she's attractive. You could put me in a sex club and I'd probably have sex with all women I find attractive and that also want it.
Not so long ago, I found out why I'm so sexually libertine and this is where it becomes embarrassing: I also suffer from irritable bowel syndrome. Mainly, it manifests itself in form of pain. Unpleasant pain. I manage to keep that pain in check by taking medication permanently. It's perfectly safe and legal medication and my doc sanctioned it.
The thing is, I tried many medication and only one seemed to work... the one I currently take. And recently, I read that apparently, it also raises sexual desire and arousal. Not to a crazy extent, but the doctor said that this very likely explains why wanting to have sex comes so easily for me. I remember that before I started taking those medicine, I had a fairly low sex drive. Now, I'm not gonna say I'm addicted, and most of the time I can "help myself" when I'm horny but every once in a while I really long for having sex with a woman, just for the purely physical pleasure. There are days when the pain is worse and I have to take a second pill and on those days the horniness is often even worse.
I mean, with my ex-girlfriend I had sex all the time. Often multiple times per evening. I got incredibly aroused when we had sex in different places like hidden in the bushes at night or in her car or giving each other a handjob in an almost empty theater room
Anyway, I spoke about this to a buddy of mine who's a psychologist. He knows I'm a single that really enjoys being single and that has no desire to have a girlfriend. I explained this sexual arousing thing and he said "well, you're single! Why don't you have a one night stand once in a while". True, I could, but the thing is it has worked sometimes to pick up a woman for a one night stand in a bar or via Tinder and whatnot, but this is really rare. A lot of women my age are looking for something more serious and I don't want the hassle. I want to basically just have sex, we both have fun and that's it. Yes, I could lie to a woman, make her think I'm in love and then dump her after having sex with her but I was raised to be respectful. I don't want to deceive a woman like this. Don't get me wrong, I do continue having one night stands, but it's really rare. Another friend of mine said that I could also see an escort every once in a while. Continue approaching women with respect, have a one night stand when it happens, but hire an escort sometimes as well to satisfy your sexual desire when there is no one night stand around.
I have no moral problems with this. As I said, sex is not taboo for me and not some "magical thing that only your true love should receive". For me, it's a human instinct that happens to be fun. I also realize escorts are, forgive me for putting it bluntly, just one of the tools in the box to get my sexual desires met and that I should continue approaching women normally as well, which I plan to do, but do you think an escort would understand my situation that I just need sex more often than I get one night stands?
Of course, I realize escorts are human beings and need to be treated with respect. I respect their wishes and limits. I'm respectful to everyone if they reciprocate it.
What are your opinions on this? Am I a pervert? Is this something to be ashamed of?
I have a sort of embarrassing question. It may sound weird, but here goes: I'm a fairly good looking 33 years old male. I struggled with low self-esteem for years due to being too skinny (imagine a tall 6'3" dude that weighs 165 lbs) but now that I work out 3x per week, rock climb and watch my food, I dare say I look athletic, with really low bodyfat and my self-esteem is doing better.
I'm currently single and to be honest, I really enjoy it. I'm exceptionally independent and even though I love being around friends, I'm completely opposite of shy and I love meeting new people, I also need to be alone to "recharge my batteries". I really need a lot of "alone time". Living with a woman is out of the question for me and having kids even more so.
Eve having a girlfriend would not make me happy: I have no space for a girlfriend in my life. I have my hobbies, sports and occupations and I don't really want to sacrifice time I spend on that for a woman. It would only make me and her unhappy.
I've had a girlfriend for about a year and to be honest, I enjoyed having sex with her a lot and we had plenty of it, but spending time with her outside of sex annoyed me. After having sex, I often just wanted to say bye and go home. I also feel no need to have a woman in my life and I fele that trying to find a girlfriend now would feel like if I'm just forcing myself to do something just to "fit in the image of a normal 33 year old guy with wife and kids" so I said "screw this crap" and decided to look for a woman when I'm damn ready for it.
The only thing I miss from having a girlfriend, is the sex. The pure physical pleasure of having sex. I'm not even missing the cuddling afterwards and the "post-sex talk", I just miss the physical pleasure of foreplay and the sex itself.
I don't need to have any love to be present in sex. If there's mutual respect and mutual consent and I find the woman in question physically attractive, that's all I need to get it up. I always found it strange that I don't necessarily need to be in love to enjoy sex. Hell, I can get a boner and have sex with a complete stranger, provided there's mutual respect and she's attractive. You could put me in a sex club and I'd probably have sex with all women I find attractive and that also want it.
Not so long ago, I found out why I'm so sexually libertine and this is where it becomes embarrassing: I also suffer from irritable bowel syndrome. Mainly, it manifests itself in form of pain. Unpleasant pain. I manage to keep that pain in check by taking medication permanently. It's perfectly safe and legal medication and my doc sanctioned it.
The thing is, I tried many medication and only one seemed to work... the one I currently take. And recently, I read that apparently, it also raises sexual desire and arousal. Not to a crazy extent, but the doctor said that this very likely explains why wanting to have sex comes so easily for me. I remember that before I started taking those medicine, I had a fairly low sex drive. Now, I'm not gonna say I'm addicted, and most of the time I can "help myself" when I'm horny but every once in a while I really long for having sex with a woman, just for the purely physical pleasure. There are days when the pain is worse and I have to take a second pill and on those days the horniness is often even worse.
I mean, with my ex-girlfriend I had sex all the time. Often multiple times per evening. I got incredibly aroused when we had sex in different places like hidden in the bushes at night or in her car or giving each other a handjob in an almost empty theater room
Anyway, I spoke about this to a buddy of mine who's a psychologist. He knows I'm a single that really enjoys being single and that has no desire to have a girlfriend. I explained this sexual arousing thing and he said "well, you're single! Why don't you have a one night stand once in a while". True, I could, but the thing is it has worked sometimes to pick up a woman for a one night stand in a bar or via Tinder and whatnot, but this is really rare. A lot of women my age are looking for something more serious and I don't want the hassle. I want to basically just have sex, we both have fun and that's it. Yes, I could lie to a woman, make her think I'm in love and then dump her after having sex with her but I was raised to be respectful. I don't want to deceive a woman like this. Don't get me wrong, I do continue having one night stands, but it's really rare. Another friend of mine said that I could also see an escort every once in a while. Continue approaching women with respect, have a one night stand when it happens, but hire an escort sometimes as well to satisfy your sexual desire when there is no one night stand around.
I have no moral problems with this. As I said, sex is not taboo for me and not some "magical thing that only your true love should receive". For me, it's a human instinct that happens to be fun. I also realize escorts are, forgive me for putting it bluntly, just one of the tools in the box to get my sexual desires met and that I should continue approaching women normally as well, which I plan to do, but do you think an escort would understand my situation that I just need sex more often than I get one night stands?
Of course, I realize escorts are human beings and need to be treated with respect. I respect their wishes and limits. I'm respectful to everyone if they reciprocate it.
What are your opinions on this? Am I a pervert? Is this something to be ashamed of?
