Dysphoric experiences on empathogens in general

[milfhunter20]

I'm curious to hear about others' experiences on MDMA, 6-APB, etc. while in a negative headspace, withdrawing from other drugs, or generally not in a good place physically or mentally. I've found the experience of getting the pleasurable "body high" but remaining in an incredibly negative mindset really interesting.

Out of desperation, wanting to make myself feel better, I once took a ~100mg dose of MDMA while I had just started to withdraw from heroin and had also gone through a ridiculously dramatic breakup, and the result was...weird. I wanted so badly for the roll to be over I took a pretty large dose of benzos (please be careful if you ever use benzos to end a trip/roll). The disparate nature of what my body was telling me ("I feel good") vs. what my brain was telling me ("I feel bad") was ultimately way too difficult to process, too confusing for my body, etc. I've also rolled just when in a bad mood, not during withdrawal, and had a similar experience, almost like a headache for my entire body that I just wanted to be over.

Wondering about any other experiences users might have had taking empathogens/entactogens starting off with a negative set/setting.

 

[LearntYoung]

Empathogens don't force you to feel happiness, they cause your emotions to be more intense. That usually means happiness, because there's also an increase in dopamine activity and usually people take it when they're in a party / happy / good mood. I personally even have a rule which states that I'm not allowed to use drugs if something is bothering me or when I'm not in a positive mood.

I've done it a anyway, a few times even, which has taught me that the rule is necessary. Drugs and heavy emotions invoke impulsive decisions.

For example: I was once pissed of, long story, and had MXE in my pocket. Without hesitation I threw a large amount on the back of my hand and snorted it all, before I was to drive my bike back home, alone, 8km, in the dark. I don't remember the entire trip, but when I woke up the next day, my mother sat on the side of my bed, all worried, because I came home "totally wasted." Apparently I dropped my bike and fell face first on top of it when trying to pick it up. Next to that I was incapable of pronouncing words understandably and my eyes kept swirling. My mother had heard something out back, found me on my bike and had to help me and my bike back up.

So my advice: Only use drugs when you don't have anything troubling you. That's not just an MDMA advice, but a general one.

If you still experience dysphoria when you have nothing on your mind, you might have a problem with either your serotonin levels or the system responsible for serotonergic responses.

 

[Batwing133]

I've taken mdma in a setting where I only knew a few people I was with and felt a bit awkward around them and it deffinately reflected on my roll. I still had the great feelings in my body but I was quiet and felt the mdma made it even more difficult to relate to the people around me.

So yeah I feel you exactly can't imagine rolling during withdrawal being pleasant

 

[Nanna]

Had a bad experience once too, I was not comfortable the place I was at and ended up shaking in full panic attack mode, and taking about 15 Benedryl to go to sleep because I locked my keys in my house.... Worst night ever.

 

[BlueBull]

I never had a roll start out bad because I was depressed or something, but I don't get depressed easily for some reason. However one time I had a roll turn bad because of something pretty dramatic that happened during the roll. It turned into a dysphoric experience where I just stared off into the distance for 4 hours straight, unable to think about anything. My head was completely empty, except for an intensely sad feeling that I couldn't quite place. It wasn't as unpleasant as a bad psychedelic trip, but I didn't expect you could feel like that while on MDMA, which was pretty weird

 

[Matt123]

Has anyone ever experienced panic attacks while rolling ? Especially on the come up. Ive had them twice. Once the first time I ever did mdma, and the second time I took mdma whilst not really feeling that happy to begin with.

I think this adds to 'LearntYoung' post about set and setting, and how you feel before taking the drug affecting the actual experience.

 

[BlueBull]

Has anyone ever experienced panic attacks while rolling ? Especially on the come up. Ive had them twice. Once the first time I ever did mdma, and the second time I took mdma whilst not really feeling that happy to begin with.

I think this adds to 'LearntYoung' post about set and setting, and how you feel before taking the drug affecting the actual experience.

Panic attacks on the comeup are pretty common. Panic attacks during a roll however are less common. Never had one, but I know of countless bluelighters that experienced this during the comeup

 

[colin681996]

I'm curious to hear about others' experiences on MDMA, 6-APB, etc. while in a negative headspace, withdrawing from other drugs, or generally not in a good place physically or mentally. I've found the experience of getting the pleasurable "body high" but remaining in an incredibly negative mindset really interesting.

Out of desperation, wanting to make myself feel better, I once took a ~100mg dose of MDMA while I had just started to withdraw from heroin and had also gone through a ridiculously dramatic breakup, and the result was...weird. I wanted so badly for the roll to be over I took a pretty large dose of benzos (please be careful if you ever use benzos to end a trip/roll). The disparate nature of what my body was telling me ("I feel good") vs. what my brain was telling me ("I feel bad") was ultimately way too difficult to process, too confusing for my body, etc. I've also rolled just when in a bad mood, not during withdrawal, and had a similar experience, almost like a headache for my entire body that I just wanted to be over.

Wondering about any other experiences users might have had taking empathogens/entactogens starting off with a negative set/setting.

Ye, my second time rolling was absoloutley horrible. Had this feeling of complete loss of emotions and emptiness. Was a terrible feeling.... Instead of having a comedown the next day, I actually woke up feeling better

 

[milfhunter20]

Yes, but this was in my silly days before I took mdma crystals and tested my stuff. I assume the mdma + whatever excess speedy cuts hit me too hard and I lost my shit! No benzos to chill me out either. These days I always have a contingency plan to 'bring me down' (sedatives) as well as mental exercises to talk myself down if I'm alone, but back then I'd just feel like I was in a nightmare! College E was always a crapshoot, haha, either intense lifechanging rolls or random meth-y sad sack fake pills...and an inexperienced 'dealer' gave me a bonus Seroquel for the comedown which reacted very very badly with me and led to a semi-paralysis/insomnia. Eugh.

I'm glad sites like this exist so I can have better plans for ensuring a solid roll, including set/setting but also testing purity, reading up on common pills, etc.

 

[milfhunter20]

Yes, that emptiness and flatness was so interesting to me in a clinical, objective way even as I was suffering, haha. I know the basics of how MDMA operates on the brain but I'd like to look into it further. Paradoxical effects on MDMA are fascinating to me.

Tangentially in response to your last sentence, I find that I actually enjoy the 'depleted' feeling after a good clean roll if I'm actually taking MDMA without any active cuts. I feel tired, but contentedly so.