Recovery D's Just for Today thread.

[Ds]

Making a thread to track my recovery and I plan on sharing my morning devotional daily here.

March 4th,
WEEDING THE GARDEN
The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115
By the time I had reached Step Three I had been freed of my dependence on alcohol, but bitter experience has shown me that continuous sobriety requires continuous effort. Every now and then I pause to take a good look at my progress. More and more of my garden is weeded each time I look, but each time I also find new weeds sprouting where I thought I had made my final pass with the blade. As I head back to get the newly sprouted weed (it’s easier when they are young), I take a moment to admire how lush the growing vegetables and flowers are, and my labors are rewarded. My sobriety grows and bears fruit.

We all journey the path of recovery our own separate ways, and for the newcomer it's not about how long you got clean or sober because together all we have is today. Not 5 years ago, or 5 years from now. We have when that clock hit 12am, til now.

My fruit is you guys and my soberity is mine.

 

[Ds]

March 5th,

A LIFELONG TASK
“But just how, in these circumstances, does a fellow ‘take it easy?’ That’s what I want to know.”
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26
I was never known for my patience. How many times have I asked, “Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now?” Indeed, when I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial “kid in a candy store.” I couldn’t wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely just a few months’ work, or so I thought! I realize now that living the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking.


Take it easy today.. don't have to hurry, because 'to be early is to be on time'. So just for today I will help someone by just saying hello, and good morning to a complete stranger.

Just for today I will set a small goal, and do the fucking thing.

 

[Ds]

March 6th & 7th
THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS
Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over any problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God’s will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity.

 

[Ds]

March 8th,
TURNING IT OVER
Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn’t it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous? . . . Any willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is the only safe harbor for the foundering vessel he has become. Now if this is not turning one’s will and life over to a newfound Providence, then what is it?
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
Submission to God was the first step to my recovery. I believe our Fellowship seeks a spirituality open to a new kinship with God. As I exert myself to follow the path of the Steps, I sense a freedom that gives me the ability to think for myself. My addiction confined me without any release and hindered my ability to be released from my self-confinement, but A.A. assures me of a way to go forward. Mutual sharing, concern and caring for others is our natural gift to each other and mine is strengthened as my attitude toward God changes. I learn to submit to God’s will in my life, to have self-respect, and to keep both of these attitudes by giving away what I receive.

 

[Ds]

March 9th,
SURRENDERING SELF-WILL
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 34
No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can one turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for the answer to this question, I became aware of the wisdom with which it was written: that this is a two-part Step.
I could see many times where I should have died, or at least been injured, during my previous style of living, and it never happened. Someone, or something, was looking after me. I choose to believe my life has always been in God’s care. He alone controls the number of days I will be granted until physical death.
The matter of will (self-will or God’s will) is the more difficult part of the Step for me. It is only when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God’s will for my life. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line with God’s will for me, there is peace within.

 

[hylite]

Thank you for posting this because I do not have this book. Or I don't have any book for that matter except for the one that I borrowed but have since had to return it.
This is such a good focus and convenient to have right here in front of me. So I do thank you so much again. For the inspiration. It makes sense to me in helping out so much to see these choices and possibilities. It is such a fresh focus for me to see here on board and so very refreshing with the added reminders for motivation also. Thank you and I feel this greatly and is such a positive note for today as well.

 

[hylite]

@Nurse Ratched

NR ! Thank you for your Imoti !

Thank you for watching over and taking care of us for our best interest.

Even your little comments mean so very much to me and keep me accountable.

Thank you for doing such a good job and very well done too.

I know I can be a total dunce sometime. But you mean so much to me.

Thank you for all of your abilities and really being here to help so much.

Dang, you're awesome.

You cannot believe how the littlest of things can mean so much at times.

I really do mean this. And even now more than ever as well.

You have always been so great and I know this doesn't go unnoticed also.

 

[Ds]

Thank you for posting this because I do not have this book. Or I don't have any book for that matter except for the one that I borrowed but have since had to return it.
This is such a good focus and convenient to have right here in front of me. So I do thank you so much again. For the inspiration. It makes sense to me in helping out so much to see these choices and possibilities. It is such a fresh focus for me to see here on board and so very refreshing with the added reminders for motivation also. Thank you and I feel this greatly and is such a positive note for today as well.

My idea is for this thread is for anyone to look back at this, and read something positive to think about the day ahead, the first 24 hours. Not yesterday or not tomorrow just for today.

Speaking of today,
This is the March 10th reading for the day.

Today, it is my choice..
. . . we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62
With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action—or inaction—whatever the consequences may be.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

@Nurse Ratched

NR ! Thank you for your Imoti !

Thank you for watching over and taking care of us for our best interest.

Even your little comments mean so very much to me and keep me accountable.

Thank you for doing such a good job and very well done too.

I know I can be a total dunce sometime. But you mean so much to me.

Thank you for all of your abilities and really being here to help so much.

Dang, you're awesome.

You cannot believe how the littlest of things can mean so much at times.

I really do mean this. And even now more than ever as well.

You have always been so great and I know this doesn't go unnoticed also.

Thank you sweetheart. Those compliments mean the world to me. Very touching. You're my Motor City girl and I hope you are doing well.

 

[VerbalTruist]

My idea is for this thread is for anyone to look back at this, and read something positive to think about the day ahead, the first 24 hours. Not yesterday or not tomorrow just for today.

Speaking of today,
This is the March 10th reading for the day.

Today, it is my choice..
. . . we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62
With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action—or inaction—whatever the consequences may be.

How’s recovery been going for you man?

 

[Ds]

How’s recovery been going for you man?

The only recovery I have going on for me at the moment is alcohol. been off that since well, god willing 6 years come August, and that WAS and still IS my fucking drug of choice. I'm sure Alcoholics can relate that my handle of vodka for what $15 at that time? would last longer then your $15 bag of whatever. and that was my math behind it.
Not to mention when I was homeless then, I was living in southen Indiana, and that cold front, a cold wave of air 26 degrees for the high/air squiggly line you see the weather man points at, that is where I was living in a tent keeping warm my a steno ? stove, and of course my vodka.
My rational thinking then was now, finally I have a excuse to get drunk. sure there are a million, but I seriously I would come to in my tent in the middle of the night first, because it was cold. Next it turned into DT's. in a matter of months.

I def wasn't your normal drinker. you might think yea but I bet I could have drank you under the table! No bub, see, what had happened was. I'd 'borrow' a jug, or pint, whatever the nice lady would let me keep warm in my pants for hold cold it was outdoors. I'd slam that shit(only the brownish type) or pour some in a waterbottle. def not to o shit a chick better do the ole swisheroo. lmao nah man. I'd drink that shit all day, and at the time it kicked in, hey bub, *shows i have a random ammount of change in my hand, not to mention i got good cleanin smellin breath so I'm of course going to my job, but could some bus fair, help me out?
then, depending on what I'd make, fuck food. I'd go get those cheap ass $1.50 cigarillos (poor man/woman smokes) usually grap flavor because why the fuck not, never had a grape Marlboro Black red Shorts lmao.
Then hit the liquor store up, grab either 211's or Komakatcheee vodka or w,e it was spelt, bottom of the bottom, and wed call it the come n getcha, because its going to and will fuck you/me up.

What did I have to lose for real? I staid hammered. maybe some drugs, but nope mouthwash, cheap vodka, cheap smokes and cheap beer were my shit.

The fucked up thing is @ the tent city's , drinking mouthwash was normal, like pass that bottle homie normal. so there was no, son spit that shit out. its more like, why have u still aint passed that fucking bottle of mouthwash, I'm about to fucking slit your goddamn throat.

life @ tent city mate.

That's why I don't drink.

I drink, I do bad things and cannot stop.

 

[Snafu in the Void]

You give me hope D's

I'm really struggling right now, not with using so much, just psychologically and the reality of dealing with life sober.

Trying to push myself to go to meetings but I always talk myself out of it.

Maybe I should just start reading the big book again

 

[Ds]

You give me hope D's

I'm really struggling right now, not with using so much, just psychologically and the reality of dealing with life sober.

Trying to push myself to go to meetings but I always talk myself out of it.

Maybe I should just start reading the big book again

Check out my first couple of blogs, i think i mention from a 'Bluelight' standpoint of rehab life, with talks about the steps.
Those struggles is what makes you a better asset to Bluelight, regardless if you are a admin,sr.stf,mod, Bluelighter,Greenlighter, or ex-bluelighter.
I didn't do the shit I did to help someone someday, once I understood that people can relate what happens when they take 1, just 1 fucking drink, what happens next.

Why alcohol you say? I puked my brains out and had got the worst hangover the first time I drank it, later that day, I wanted more.
My brain registered success the 'relief' it gave me, not the 6hrs of puking laying on the floor.
Thats kind of how it is with all drugs right?