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Does it take you longer to cum when you are intimate with someone?

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
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I tend to find it takes me forever to cum when I am with someone. It's sometimes led to me not finishing :( I do have anxiety though and blame this as a contributor. However when I am on my own and jacking it, it can take me sometimes only 2 - 3 minutes yet when I am with a girl it can be 30 minutes to an hour.

Would like to hear if anyone else goes through the same thing?
 
Intimacy isn't about sex but sex is a part of intimacy imo. Is the anxiety about not finishing? Or is there a general anxiety happening with the relationship or other aspects of life?

For me it varies with whom my partner was, and how connected we were.
 
I tend to find it takes me forever to cum when I am with someone. It's sometimes led to me not finishing :( I do have anxiety though and blame this as a contributor. However when I am on my own and jacking it, it can take me sometimes only 2 - 3 minutes yet when I am with a girl it can be 30 minutes to an hour.

Would like to hear if anyone else goes through the same thing?

If your cumming in 2 - 3 minutes try and slow down - don't go for the immediate stimulation / friction of your cock head (sex will not produce that same feeling). Go slow, use lube get to enjoy the build up feeling of slow stimulation before busting. I know I say this quite often in here but try edging (getting close to cumming and then stop - repeat) this can give you control over your orgasms, you get to recognize the signs and then its upto you if you want to sprint to the finish line or take your time.
 
I'd say that your anxiety is to blame, because if I have sex when I'm off my anti-anxiety meds the same thing happens to me.
For me the focus on pleasing my partner (i.e. am I good enough?) combined with stupid body-image issues I have easily lead to worrying when having sex.
I find that this disappears if I've had any kind of drug prior to sex but especially when I've had valium/xanax, a decent amount of alcohol, MDMA or speed.
Is your anxiety treated? If it is, try dosing prior to sex.
The key to orgasm for me is to relax, which I know is easier said than done when you have anxiety issues and is why I tend to medicate.
 
I tend to find it takes me forever to cum when I am with someone. It's sometimes led to me not finishing :( I do have anxiety though and blame this as a contributor. However when I am on my own and jacking it, it can take me sometimes only 2 - 3 minutes yet when I am with a girl it can be 30 minutes to an hour.

Would like to hear if anyone else goes through the same thing?

Depends if your watching porn when your on your own.. i find the visual of porn can be disruptive when it comes to sex, you get use to getting off to those particular angles. With all said and done though, it's better to last 30 minutes then a couple of minutes..

If i'm sober.. i swear i spend most of the time during sex thinking of something else in order to not finish to early, i have to really control it. When i'm intoxicated, it's the opposite.. i have to focus very hard on the act and intimacy of sex otherwise it will lead into frustration for both me and her. To me 15-25 minutes (not including foreplay) is the sweet spot.. less then that is usually disappointing for her and more then that i start to pickup on her frustration or insecurity that there's something wrong with her because i haven't finished yet.
 
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