Does he think I am toying with him and his emotions?

[Ashley S]

Hey everyone, it's a different guy, it's not Kevin lol, but this friend has almost the same characteristics as Kevin. My friend Adam is a cool guy, but he's questionable. I genuinely care for him. He's a disturbed person, cause he has Bi-polar and Depression. So I worry about him a lot. Well, I have this love hate relationship with him, I get pissed off about the fact that he uses women, but then I love him cause he's very disturbed and will show some of that good side he has.


It's a confusing friendship we have for sure. Well I haven't spoke to him cause of my busy schedule, so he's working overnight by himself painting in an abandoned house and he calls me to ask if I would come and keep him company and I was kinda rude with him by saying "no" and saying "What am I suppose to do? This has disaster written all over it" So I felt bad and called him back an hour later and said "Are you ok? I'm sorry, if I was rude to you!" He seemed disgusted but he said "No you weren't rude" He was getting kinda testy with me though, and then he said "Did you call about something else?" I said "No, I am just concerned for you, I act like a mother haha, you are working in an abandoned house by yourself, just checking up on you!" He said "You're not my mother" But then later on in the phone convo he said "You must be high, you're probably really high" I said "NO! I can't even tell you the last time I smoked weed, I am just checking up on you buddy!"


Does he think I am toying with him? Like I only call him or text him when I am stoned or drunk? I did do that in that past, but I don't smoke weed anymore; however, I did recently called him up drunk, so what do you get from all of this? And do you think he thinks I toy with his emotions or something? It bothers me that he thought I was high and that is why I was calling him up to check on him.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

I would personally just think you're a very considerate & generous person. You know for me Ashley, that would score major brownie points in wanting a relationship.

BUT our buddy Adam is Bi-Polar & Depressed.. So, his case & thinking of the situation is going to be totally different than mine.

For all the Bi-Polar women I know, they seem to sometimes takes things the wrong way, and quite often blow situations out of proportion. So, I'm always careful when I talk to someone in that condition.

One time I starting talking to one of my depressed female friends. I just wanted to be someone there for her, encourage her, brighten her spirits, and be a mentor. It was okay at first, but then she started calling & texting me too often. It wasn't long, I could already tell she had a huge crush on me & I didn't feel the same. I had to let her off easy over time, but I'm sure I just ended up breaking her heart. I don't think she ever had a supportive man before.

 

[Kilfer]

Saying it like it is is actually showing respect for the guy. If he senses that he will appreciate you more for it. I'm sure he can understand that spending the night watching someone painting an abandoned house is not as romantic as Scooby Doo characters would make it look.

 

[Smoky]

I relate. I can try to read other's minds … wondering what they are thinking. Maybe just ask him? Be direct, as hard as it is… just be honest, express how you feel.
He seems (yet, i do not know), to be deflecting onto you asking you if you are 'high' or 'drunk' etc… People do this when they are hurt, or cannot take the truth or feel defensive.
It does make sense ... even if a friend to not want to hang out all night in an abandoned house.

 

[Hear Me Roar]

In my opinion, it sounds like he knows you are only interested in a relationship yet holds small amounts of hope that in the near future that may change to something more. So when you consistently show that you are only interested in friendship, he becomes defensive and irritated.

Natural behaviour for guys. They understand you want only friendship, yet still hold that glimmer of hope. An that hope is which fuels his behaviour when you reinforce that friends is all it will be.

This is why there is the old age falsity that guys and gals can't be friends. Which is false, but it's true in some cases for this exact reason.

How do you prevent it? Keep reinforcing that friendship is all that's on the table and eventually he will get the picture. He may become pissy and act all irritated, but just ignore it, brush it off and carry on talking to him like normal. If he directly starts making it clear that he wants more than friendship, even though you consistently show otherwise, be blunt. Lay the cards on the table and tell him what's what.

 

[partydisklasersex]

def could be a possibility.

 

[Smoky]

There is also the Superman complex - An unhealthy sense of responsibility, or the belief that everyone else lacks the capacity to successfully perform one or more tasks. Such a person may feel a constant need to "save" others.