psychidecorator
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2016
- Messages
- 24
I haven't posted in a while as I've been livin life, but finally broke through on dmt two days ago. I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience to this and how it went down for you, dose, setting etc. This being my first true breakthrough I was absolutely unprepared for what happened. I know the power of DMT and have tried it at lower doses generally not making it far due to ROA. This time I had a vape pipe and was somewhat ready to engage fully.
I was trying to help dose my friend sitting next to me, he pulled some of the vapor into his lungs and called it good so I decided to casually get a little higher too and took a toke, well, the glass on the vape pipe was hot enough to continue to vaporize the newly added 30mg of dmt as well as the dmt oxide dark residue and I was given a massive hit that immediately destroyed me. There was no time to understand. I was immediately dissolved and torn apart into raw disembodied chaos of experience. There was no I to experience, simply just the experience itself that was happening. Vague memories of being literally splattered into multiple visual dimensions at the same time are all I can truly recall now. Visually, things were patterned into machine like waves but were incongruent with other visuals of walls of clear and bright light, the machine like visuals were opaque in a clay like manner and moved back and forth chaotically simultaneously becoming a new visual phenomena and then regressing into the old one, green was the predominant color. This went on for what felt like all of time, my soul was no longer human, it was only capable of experiencing raw chaos through every sense.
It was like being an abstract piece of artwork in the most intense alien possible way, as if being a painting can be anything normal. It was profoundly jarring and felt like death but in a very unpleasant way. If that was death, death is not exactly enjoyable. I am willing to believe that it could have been my attempting to end the experience that made it negative but after the first few seconds I wasn't even around to end anything. I eventually started to hear my friend saying let go and I understood what he said for one second, finally understanding I was a person on earth and then I was immediately back in alien chaos no longer a person, no understanding of language. A presence was felt and it was not friendly, the only words I can use are chaos and destruction of being and alien in a hyperreal way. Beyond imagination.
Because of this experience I now believe that these places are real in some way, whether or not they are corporeal they may actually be in a different dimension of experience absolutely unlike this reality. All of my previous drugs experience was no match, ketamine seems like the gentlest drug of all time, 600ug of lsd seems like a walk in the park and 5 grams of mushrooms seems like a friendly visit to the edge of the ego death zoo. Nothing seems to compare to dmt.
I came out of this disembodied chaos of color feeling layers of personality being replaced slowly and hearing Fiona Apple's version of Across the Universe playing and my friends singing to it. "Nothing's gonna change my world, nothing's gonna change my world" I was being reborn and needed help because it was profoundly difficult to understand the process but I did know the words of the song, I knew english, I knew my friends but felt like a baby version of myself. I felt the urge to dance with my hands, the only thing I could coordinate, using the dancing o express and dispel the energy that was still gripping me. My friend sat down and held me like an infant as I was reborn into reality and restored, softly saying "Thank You so much, this is what I need"
All in 15 minutes. The chaos blackout was only a five minute ordeal for them but a lifetime of experience for me and it took me another ten minutes to regain myself completely. I had the feeling that I was very wet, clammy and covered in slime, my beard felt like thick grass, but I was no longer an alien, I was being restored to my small human life and it felt good, but slightly tainted by the onslaught of information and visual fuckery that I was just in.
I suppose what my question is, is has anyone experienced similar chaos like this? It was absolutely not like some things people have written, often describing some form of narrative of journey. I had no narrative or journey, just simple unadulterated ego death, actual death, soul destroying chaos. Harrowing stuff. I will do it again but at a lower dose. I think I traveled beyond hyperspace or perhaps I didn't travel far enough.
Peace
I was trying to help dose my friend sitting next to me, he pulled some of the vapor into his lungs and called it good so I decided to casually get a little higher too and took a toke, well, the glass on the vape pipe was hot enough to continue to vaporize the newly added 30mg of dmt as well as the dmt oxide dark residue and I was given a massive hit that immediately destroyed me. There was no time to understand. I was immediately dissolved and torn apart into raw disembodied chaos of experience. There was no I to experience, simply just the experience itself that was happening. Vague memories of being literally splattered into multiple visual dimensions at the same time are all I can truly recall now. Visually, things were patterned into machine like waves but were incongruent with other visuals of walls of clear and bright light, the machine like visuals were opaque in a clay like manner and moved back and forth chaotically simultaneously becoming a new visual phenomena and then regressing into the old one, green was the predominant color. This went on for what felt like all of time, my soul was no longer human, it was only capable of experiencing raw chaos through every sense.
It was like being an abstract piece of artwork in the most intense alien possible way, as if being a painting can be anything normal. It was profoundly jarring and felt like death but in a very unpleasant way. If that was death, death is not exactly enjoyable. I am willing to believe that it could have been my attempting to end the experience that made it negative but after the first few seconds I wasn't even around to end anything. I eventually started to hear my friend saying let go and I understood what he said for one second, finally understanding I was a person on earth and then I was immediately back in alien chaos no longer a person, no understanding of language. A presence was felt and it was not friendly, the only words I can use are chaos and destruction of being and alien in a hyperreal way. Beyond imagination.
Because of this experience I now believe that these places are real in some way, whether or not they are corporeal they may actually be in a different dimension of experience absolutely unlike this reality. All of my previous drugs experience was no match, ketamine seems like the gentlest drug of all time, 600ug of lsd seems like a walk in the park and 5 grams of mushrooms seems like a friendly visit to the edge of the ego death zoo. Nothing seems to compare to dmt.
I came out of this disembodied chaos of color feeling layers of personality being replaced slowly and hearing Fiona Apple's version of Across the Universe playing and my friends singing to it. "Nothing's gonna change my world, nothing's gonna change my world" I was being reborn and needed help because it was profoundly difficult to understand the process but I did know the words of the song, I knew english, I knew my friends but felt like a baby version of myself. I felt the urge to dance with my hands, the only thing I could coordinate, using the dancing o express and dispel the energy that was still gripping me. My friend sat down and held me like an infant as I was reborn into reality and restored, softly saying "Thank You so much, this is what I need"
All in 15 minutes. The chaos blackout was only a five minute ordeal for them but a lifetime of experience for me and it took me another ten minutes to regain myself completely. I had the feeling that I was very wet, clammy and covered in slime, my beard felt like thick grass, but I was no longer an alien, I was being restored to my small human life and it felt good, but slightly tainted by the onslaught of information and visual fuckery that I was just in.
I suppose what my question is, is has anyone experienced similar chaos like this? It was absolutely not like some things people have written, often describing some form of narrative of journey. I had no narrative or journey, just simple unadulterated ego death, actual death, soul destroying chaos. Harrowing stuff. I will do it again but at a lower dose. I think I traveled beyond hyperspace or perhaps I didn't travel far enough.
Peace