Discussing the Pros and Cons of accepting / considering a Valium Addiction

[Relapz]

A little backstory, I became addicted to oxys then heroin as it freed my mind from all the stress I find myself incapable of dealing with. After a while, my tolerance and heroin was just becoming unmanagable, spending $200 a day, you opiate addicts know how it goes.

So I am now on suboxone.

I never really liked benzos, until I tried a valium a couple months ago, it seems everyone has there favorite benzo, seems mainly kpins or xanax, but for me those did virtually nothing.

So right now I am stuck, considering indulging on a valium addiction because of how happy, productive and it increases my quality of life. I think the huge half life helps as well cause it literally lasts me all day. I currently can obtain valium pretty easily and pretty cheap, even though I don't have a script.

So for those who are / have been addicted to benzos, is it worth it? what are the pros and cons.

I know my tolerance would go up, and eventually I'd probably be taking around 50mg a day, it seems the only real issue would be when I run out after i become dependent which I can only imagine the nightmare that would create, but I don't know where else to turn.

Pros:
Happier
Anxiety free
Cure to insomnia
Productive

Cons:
Addiction
Money
Running out and benzo withdrawal (I've experienced heroin and fentanyl withdrawal, but I know benzos are a whole different demon)
Brain chemistry changing, and when I stop having to recover (takes almost a year).

So for those of you who have been through it, or use a benzo daily, please help I really need opinions and experiences of others.

Thanks.

 

[Relapz]

Oh and moderation is not a word my brain understands, so it would definitely be a daily thing.

 

[wdotter]

I have had to quit opioids, amphetamines and my personal favorite, Quaaludes, and it was horrible each and every time, but nothing in my life has been as horrendous as benzo withdrawal.

The bottom line is that they may work well for you for years, but then one day they won't - and that's when you'll find out that you're screwed.

The symptoms of benzo withdrawal are too brutal to describe, so I'll spare you - Google it. I'm off Ativan seven months now, and I'm still in the pits of hell. I'll never touch a benzo again.

 

[Relapz]

Please help

 

[Relapz]

But was it worth it at the time? Because at this point in my life I feel hopeless man

 

[SKL]

A little backstory, I became addicted to oxys then heroin as it freed my mind from all the stress I find myself incapable of dealing with. After a while, my tolerance and heroin was just becoming unmanagable, spending $200 a day, you opiate addicts know how it goes.

So I am now on suboxone.

I never really liked benzos, until I tried a valium a couple months ago, it seems everyone has there favorite benzo, seems mainly kpins or xanax, but for me those did virtually nothing.

So right now I am stuck, considering indulging on a valium addiction because of how happy, productive and it increases my quality of life. I think the huge half life helps as well cause it literally lasts me all day. I currently can obtain valium pretty easily and pretty cheap, even though I don't have a script.

So for those who are / have been addicted to benzos, is it worth it? what are the pros and cons.

I know my tolerance would go up, and eventually I'd probably be taking around 50mg a day, it seems the only real issue would be when I run out after i become dependent which I can only imagine the nightmare that would create, but I don't know where else to turn.

Pros:
Happier
Anxiety free
Cure to insomnia
Productive

Cons:
Addiction
Money
Running out and benzo withdrawal (I've experienced heroin and fentanyl withdrawal, but I know benzos are a whole different demon)
Brain chemistry changing, and when I stop having to recover (takes almost a year).

So for those of you who have been through it, or use a benzo daily, please help I really need opinions and experiences of others.

Thanks.
So for those of you who have been through it, or use a benzo daily, please help I really need opinions and experiences of others.

Thanks.

I am also on Suboxone (8mg) and Valium (Rx max 20mg/day but not always taking so much). If you take it every day it will help but you will stop enjoying it. If you escalate the dose you will wind up in a really, really bad way. 50mg is the upper-ish limit on normal medical use. If you're going to be using it escalatingly, excessively, addictively, you'll wind up doubling that quite rapidly. Even without insurance a month's worth of valium at even high medical levels (~40mg) won't run you much more than $10. So I assume when you say "money" you're acquiring it illegally or planning to. It's not really the most common drug on the "street", fake XANAX bars are probably the most commonly avaiable benzo in those kinds of consumer markets, although you can get them from overseas, etc., sometimes quite cheap as well, but the fact that you're thinking you're going to wind up going to the black market shows that you're going to escalate your dosage, and nothing good comes from this. If you stay within reasonable doses it is worthwhile as an adjunctive to Suboxone, and probably the best benzodiazepine for that purpose, although some would say it's klonipin. All of your "pro's" will disappear if you use it in greater-than-indicated doses, and they will diminish (but not disappear) if you take a reasonable (i.e. as-prescribed or less) regular dose daily. As I said I am prescribed 60 10mg tabs a month. Every month I wind up with 10-20 or more left over. It is best this way a you do not build a huge tolerance and you can still use the maximum dose to relieve more-than-usual anxiety. I sometimes take 10mg twice a day, sometimes 5mg in the morning and 10mg later on, sometimes 5 and 5, sometimes 5 or 10 in the morning alone, sometimes 5 two or three times spread out in a day, VERY occasionally 25-30mg to sleep after a day of extreme stress (not just "I'm stressed" but like, for example, an "I just spent 2 hour being deposed/interrogated today and have serious legal worries about losing my job/kids/going to jail/whatever" kind of day.) I also have a pretty serious alcohol problem, though; to stay sober for a few days, my biggest ally has been gabapentin in high therapeutic doses in addition to moderate doses of valium, but this is not an orthodox medical treatment. Alcohol generally will magnify your problems (it does mine, I've just been lucky to be able to moderate the bezos and in that gabapentin helps with the alcohol, which it does not for everyone and for which it is not officially FDA approved.)

 

[T. Calderone]

The thought of having to withdraw from benzos is terrifying to me. I had gone through it once with Xanax and once with etizolam and thought I was going to die. I knew what I was in for the second time and couldn't taper properly. Still, I got back on the benzo train and justified my use because I was ill from from the hepatitis c treatment. Though I use .5 to 1 mg at night, I know it's going to be difficult when I'm ready to stop. I see a psychiatrist who gave me temazepam (no, I didn't tell her about my benzo problem) But like SKL said, it's good if you can get something prescribed. Honestly, I believe the cons outweigh the pros in the long run because sooner or later, we all have to pay the fiddler.

 

[Relapz]

Thank you both this is both very valuable information. SKL has it been a challenge to keep your dose regulated without raising it? I mean I'm pretty familiar with tolerance going from oxycodone 5 mg up to oxy 80s, but idk if I could control my Benzo usage. That's the true question, maybe I'll go ask a psychiatrist there opinion but I feel people on this forum know more about drugs than most doctors out there

 

[Burnt Offerings]

I would definitely avoid a diazepam addiction if you can at all help it.

I'm not one of those people who demonize benzodiazepines as a drug class but...there's really no denying that a benzodiazepine dependency, once set, is a very horrible thing to try and come off of. I would urge not becoming a slave to drugs if you can help it...I'm a slave to drugs (although the specific drug in question is not a recreational drug) and I despise that aspect of my life...I have no idea why someone would willingly chain themselves to the medical establishment (or the pharmaceutical black market) if they had other options.

 

[Relapz]

I would definitely avoid a diazepam addiction if you can at all help it.

I'm not one of those people who demonize benzodiazepines as a drug class but...there's really no denying that a benzodiazepine dependency, once set, is a very horrible thing to try and come off of. I would urge not becoming a slave to drugs if you can help it...I'm a slave to drugs (although the specific drug in question is not a recreational drug) and I despise that aspect of my life...I have no idea why someone would willingly chain themselves to the medical establishment (or the pharmaceutical black market) if they had other options.

I do agree with this I mean I've been a slave to opiates for years
Now and it is quite the Bitch to be chained to something.

Honestly I'm about to be back in college and it may be a sad thing to say but all I care about is obtaining a degree and if drugs will help me get there so be it. I'm still on the fence about this the thing is I basically have an unlimited supply of diazepam at my disposal which I won't get into details because it's against forum
Rules,

Idk what to do because suboxone basically makes me feel like shit but I can't see myself getting off of it successfully. At least not right now

 

[Burnt Offerings]

I'm just saying, think carefully before developing a drug dependency with a withdrawal measured in months and years

 

[Gorillaboy21]

Damn exactly, I get so scared and hate myself when I even take 20 mg Valium in a day I start telling myself I'm fucked I'm addicted and force myself to stop by taking gabapentin and my normal daily opiate addiction kinda covered some of it. My rule is never go above 20-30 mgs for 2 or 3 days straight. Also I try to switch and one day take Xanax make the half lives switch around and get different highs when I tAper I swear that helps . Now I'm on 5 mgs Valium or .5-1 mgs Xanax a day today I went without any and I feel relatively okay so tapering is on the way.

With opiates it doesn't seem to work that way, it's more of a don't do it at all if you do it once you really fucked up so tapering sucks cause if you slip up you wasted all that time tapering essentially, but with benzos if I slip up one day during the taper it's not like that ... at least not for me .

Last quick point , I feel like with benzos it's how much total mgs you take in a day rather than how frequent you dose it that caused wd cause when I took it daily but kept it at 5-10 mgs Valium and quit it wasn't the end of the world at all , but people who take 50-150 mgs for a month will be worse off .

 

[SKL]

xanax is a terrible idea for all intents and purposes. the short T_½ and tendency to cause behavioral dysregulation is just bad news; avoid it. the trend in medicine is to do the same.

I have not had particular difficulty controlling my Valium intake, but I have a bunch of other meds, suboxone, and alcohol to fall back on. absent these, perhaps I would have a harder time. I may get my dose bumped up in the next doctors visit or two to a max of 40mg just to keep them around though, but also as for the gabapentin, which I've found uniquely helpful in dealing with alcoholism, I need very high doses of it, and fear that if I were to take it every day it will lose the effect so there are "drinking days" and "neurontin days" also the neurontin does nothing for drinking if I'm not actively engaged in something constructive

 

[GUCP]

I haven't read the comments here, but from an ex-Valium addict, 4 months clean now from what turned into a 120mg/day habit and I am still far from being okay.
I felt the same as you. I needed them because they made day-to-day life bearable, but seriously, they are not worth it. Eventually the effects are basically reversed. They stop working, regardless of dose, and the problems that they fix now, they will intensify tenfold when you're hooked.
The withdrawal took nearly a year, and it nearly killed me. I ended up in hospital. I had psychosis, a full-blown religious experience on what I thought was my death bed. The worst chest pains and anxiety I have ever had in my life. Leg cramps to the point where I contemplated amputation. There is so much more, but I don't even want to think about it.
It was so bad, that I genuinely now suffer with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
It was much worse than opiate withdrawal.
I nearly died.
It is not worth it.
Try counselling instead - it's by no means quick fix like benzos, but it actually works, and you might never come back from a benzo addiction, and if you do, there is a fairly high chance of permanent brain damage, and severe mental disorders like I now have, and I was lucky.
Don't do it.

 

[Relapz]

Thanks everyone I have decided I'm not gonna do it. I've had some clarity since posting this and one more addiction is the last thing I need to do right now.

Thanks guys, you may have saved me from hell itself

 

[wdotter]

Thanks everyone I have decided I'm not gonna do it. I've had some clarity since posting this and one more addiction is the last thing I need to do right now.

Thanks guys, you may have saved me from hell itself

I'm SO glad!

I'm not one to demonize drugs, but benzos are not like anything else - their hooks are barbed. Hell would feel downright friendly compared to benzo WD.

 

[JimRaynor]

Pros:
Happier
Anxiety free
Cure to insomnia
Productive

Cons:
Addiction
Money
Running out and benzo withdrawal (I've experienced heroin and fentanyl withdrawal, but I know benzos are a whole different demon)
Brain chemistry changing, and when I stop having to recover (takes almost a year).

It is important when making a decision like this to have all the facts straight first. Regarding the "pros" with habitual benzo use, happiness, insomnia cure and productivity is not one of them. Those are acute effects that disappear within a few weeks with daily use. The only real benefit you get is less anxiety in the long term. Continously raising the dose is the only way to, at least partially, bring back the desired positive effects. And you know how that goes. Eventually it is impossible to raise the dose further or you run out and then the most horrible withdrawal there is awaits.

I have been addicted and withdrawn from benzos several times in my life. The main reason why I have had the desire to quit is that the pills have made me depressed, lazy and given me trouble with sleep. Benzos are weird in the sense that the often cause, in the long term, the very same things they intend to treat. The depression is worst for me. Last time I was addicted I even got suicidal after a few months of daily use.

So no, please don't make the same mistake I have done. I regret it and you will regret it.