MeMyself&Meth84
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2021
- Messages
- 2
I'm try make this short and to the point. I'm 37 single never married no kids. At young age told was ADD but don't worry there's meds out there that will make you just as smart as the other kid right. Never felt like I fit in. I am great at beating myself up mentally. Can honestly say be never truly been happy. Prescription to Adderall in 2006 until 2016 tried meff for the first time and it was off to the races. Smoked first year then started iv. Went to rehab back in 2018 then a sober living for ,9 months after that where I was only clean 6 of those 9 months. Left came home got job still using but maintaining then march of 2020 lost job due to covid got on unemployment and have done nothing since but get high, isolate from family don't really have any real friends anymore just using friends. I think at this point I'm just as addicted to my daily routine of tweaking out on something at the house and chasing dope than I am the actually drug. Lazy is what is called. Selfish and self-centered run on 100 forms of fears.
So my family. Mom dad younger brother. I had the best childhood and was raised by the best parents they could have been harder on me in school to make better grades but I was learning disabled right so they just let me get skate by. Was always a mommy boy. My dad worked slot so me and my brother were always with my mom. Me and my dad have always had a problem communicating with one another line I know he loves me and he knows I love him but when we're in a room together there's just no words. My mom was always the middle man. This past July my mom got covid . Healthy 64 year old woman . I thought she'd kick it no problem. On July 17th that morning I woke with a phine call from my dad to get to the hospital as fast as I could. When I arrived we were told there was nothing else they coukd do that she wasnt going to mske it. That afternoon the decision was made to take her off the machine and she pasted away. Devastated heart broken lost angry shock . Shock came first of course then the anger. After the funeral I came back home and it's been non stop ever since. My mom and dad were married 46 years. My dad is devastated as well. He lost his wife his partner his best friend. Here my problem. I should have already been back home with him at least to be just fo be there but this disease keeps pulling us further and further apart. I know it's on me and I know what I have to do but the worst part is I don't wont to lose the only thing I've known for the past 5 years. It's all I have. I need some words advice please encouragement anything to help me start getting this thing turned back around and save my relationship with my dad and brother. Thx
So my family. Mom dad younger brother. I had the best childhood and was raised by the best parents they could have been harder on me in school to make better grades but I was learning disabled right so they just let me get skate by. Was always a mommy boy. My dad worked slot so me and my brother were always with my mom. Me and my dad have always had a problem communicating with one another line I know he loves me and he knows I love him but when we're in a room together there's just no words. My mom was always the middle man. This past July my mom got covid . Healthy 64 year old woman . I thought she'd kick it no problem. On July 17th that morning I woke with a phine call from my dad to get to the hospital as fast as I could. When I arrived we were told there was nothing else they coukd do that she wasnt going to mske it. That afternoon the decision was made to take her off the machine and she pasted away. Devastated heart broken lost angry shock . Shock came first of course then the anger. After the funeral I came back home and it's been non stop ever since. My mom and dad were married 46 years. My dad is devastated as well. He lost his wife his partner his best friend. Here my problem. I should have already been back home with him at least to be just fo be there but this disease keeps pulling us further and further apart. I know it's on me and I know what I have to do but the worst part is I don't wont to lose the only thing I've known for the past 5 years. It's all I have. I need some words advice please encouragement anything to help me start getting this thing turned back around and save my relationship with my dad and brother. Thx
