DAting APps/sites and the future?

[Markomarkh]

Hi all, I've been using dating apps for donkeys years for ages and never had any luck with them, not one date, but the latest I've used is Zoosk (is that owned by Facebook?) but recently got three messages from three different girls, one who I thought would suit me looks wise, dunno if you really can tell with a photo but then reading her profile I got dissapointed she has baggage and 3kids. Ideally I'd like a girl with no kids or even been touched, ya know what I mean. The problem I find with most dating sites they charge for stupid prices, Zoosk want 89pound for 6months to subscribe, ffs I only want to look at three bloody messages! What a rip off ain't paying that! No wonder nobody messages back can anyone afford it? The majority of tinders, POf, badoo, LOVOO and any of them are a load of crap! I once heard only 10% have any success on these sites! But any rant over, what do you think is the future of dating apps and what new technology out there has the potential to work properly? Think it's easier just to do it old fashioned just go out and talk to women on street! Lol.

 

[-=SS=-]

Think it's easier just to do it old fashioned just go out and talk to women on street! Lol.

You've answered your own question

Women get a TON of attention on dating sites, which is probably more the reason they're on there in the first place anyway. They can also filter out any and every man that doesn't fit the fantasy criteria they have in their heads. Whereas if you met that same woman on the street you would have a much higher chance of seducing her as you can reach her imagination directly as opposed to having to go through the laundry list of filters and criteria she has in mind when using a website.. you can bypass that and go straight to emotion and imagination.

I've used POF and had success with it before. However, the overwhelming majority of women I've seen on there are like little corporate clones of each other.. "I like travel".. "I like drinking with friends".. nothing to suggest any real depth of personality, and the pictures show that as well. A lot also don't exude relationship material, and even display signs of mental instability, though I feel that's probably just representative of women in general these days.

Good luck finding a woman with no kids and no baggage on those sites though. It's like 1 in 100 from what I remember.

 

[-=SS=-]

All that said I will agree however that in my experience POF really is the bottom of the barrel as far as online dating goes, I don't know why this would be the case, but for some reason it does seem to be the case.

Because it's free and women love the validation it gives them, even if half the messages they receive are absolute smut. And yes my statements are based on experience, and no it's nothing to do with me attracting these people.. they're just sort of there.. but yes it's men as well, I just was referring to women because that's who I deal with being straight but absolutely the majority of people are just fucking nuts.

I didn't post the text in your first quote by the way, that was the OP.

 

[Vastness]

Whoops my mistake. Urgh, tried to edit my post on a mobile and ended up deleting it... managed to go back and copy what I posted though, any future readers of this thread, this post is slightly out of chronological order:


OP, ask yourself, if it is easier to go do it the old fashioned way, then why haven't you done this already?

I seem to be posting a very similar response in a lot of threads recently, but nonetheless... online dating and approaching people in real life are both just different ways to do the same thing, but it does not make sense, in my view, to say that one is "easier" than the other as they both use quite different but somewhat complimentary skill sets. And on that note, online dating is to some extent a skill, and, just like in real life, and you need to put a little effort into it. You will attract the sort of person that you project through your profile and through messages, so if you are projecting a person that is not willing to put any effort in, has a defeatist attitude, and with unrealistic expectations and stipulations about a partner, like...

Ideally I'd like a girl with no kids or even been touched, ya know what I mean

...(LOL) then it is no wonder that you are not attracting the sort of woman you actually want to date.

Online dating can be a time saving device although it depends what you're looking for. Yeah it might be easier to connect with any random stranger on the street if you have rudimentary social skills and take care of yourself, but out of these people that you meet there is a far lower chance of it developing into anything meaningful, whereas online if you connect with someone you already know that you have some things in common and some compatibility.


Also, -=SS=-, I am sorry but I just have to call you out on a few things.

Women get a TON of attention on dating sites, which is probably more the reason they're on there in the first place anyway.

I really don't think this is the entirely true... they probably join in the first place for similar reasons as men, although they may come to enjoy the attention they get after they have been on there for a while. Equally though in my experience many women find the constant onslaught of generic, desperate and sometimes offensive messages quite frustrating, but they persist because of the other reasons that they joined.

They can also filter out any and every man that doesn't fit the fantasy criteria they have in their heads.

This is true of men as well.

.. nothing to suggest any real depth of personality, and the pictures show that as well. A lot also don't exude relationship material, and even display signs of mental instability, though I feel that's probably just representative of women in general these days.

Again, I think this is true of men as well. With these statements you are projecting a fairly negative and frustrated view onto people, and seemingly, primarily, women, which no doubt has some basis in your own experience but is not reflective of reality. Again, we attract the sort of person whose character matches the attitude we project to the world, so these views you hold are very likely to become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you don't make some effort to keep them in check.

All that said I will agree however that in my experience POF really is the bottom of the barrel as far as online dating goes, I don't know why this would be the case, but for some reason it does seem to be the case.

 

[Markomarkh]

I did do the old fashioned in the 90s before I had Internet, had a few dates kisses, snogS and hugs, 1 monther girlfriends that's a about it, but I was having more luck then probably because I was going out more then and was slimmer, fitter and better looking in my teens. But I think I've become a grumpy lazy fat old man in my late 30s, which needs correcting and will. I always used to think technology would make things easier but it hasn't and been sucked into dating sites will find me someone ideal as you can be pick and choose who you date but learnt it don't work like that. If I did meet someone on there, she'd be totally different to what I imagined and probably be dissapointment. It's like models you see in catalogs or magazines, they are the best lookers slim and everything but probably most the time got a personality of a doormat or really annoying or a footballers wife. Maybe I just need to forget the whole thing, obsessing ain't good for me. Just work on myself.

 

[Vastness]

I always used to think technology would make things easier but it hasn't and been sucked into dating sites will find me someone ideal as you can be pick and choose who you date but learnt it don't work like that. If I did meet someone on there, she'd be totally different to what I imagined and probably be dissapointment. It's like models you see in catalogs or magazines, they are the best lookers slim and everything but probably most the time got a personality of a doormat or really annoying or a footballers wife.

In my experience this is not necessarily the case. The problem is that your whole outlook is just highly, highly cynical and negative and this likely comes across in your interactions with people, both in reality and online (as it is pretty clearly coming accross now).

Online dating CAN make things easier in that you can still meet people even if you don't have the confidence to approach people in real life, but it doesn't make it easier in the sense that you can just completely give up on yourself and hope that the girl of your dreams will just pop up in your inbox. You still need to work on yourself like you say, otherwise the issue isn't going to be that the women you meet aren't like you were expecting, it's going to be that even if you project your absolute best side online, when women meet you they are going to be pretty disappointed.

You can't do anything about being old (although in your late 30s this is not old, in my opinion) but you can do something about about being grumpy, lazy, and fat. It would probably be best to address things in that order as well. Just try to look at things less negatively for a while and see how it works out, you might surprise yourself.

I will add, actually, that if you have been thinking in the same way for the last 20 years or so it is probably going to be very very difficult to just drag yourself out of it without any kind of help, I suspect you have a diagnosable psychiatric condition at this point and would suggest seeking some kind of counselling or therapy. I am not sure but I think myself and others may have already suggested this to you in some of the other equally depressive and defeatist threads you have posted, so please, please consider doing it for your own good and the good of everyone around you. The gloomy lense of negativity through which you are looking at the world does not have to be your reality.

 

[pofacedhoe]

OP you have a selfish streak that is pretty noticeable. for example you start an endless amout of threads on the same topic but do you ever show interest in anyone elses problems/threads?

you want a lot of attention. you have posted lots of times about your problems dating. its the same thing over and over.

rather than starting a new thread try adding to your older ones about the same topic.

this thread has run its course