Crystaline Entities (Y2K's startling sexual affair with bullshit)

[Pyro]

Well, I don't want your s*hit but I did Crystal again cause I wanted to damnit and so here's my story

Get it.
and so I took it.
and I was around my friends who are anti-it.
so I had to hide it.
but I had fun with it.
and that's the main point isn't it?
I was having fun hiding the fact that I was pretty spun and drugged up around my friends. We hung out and played videogames and talked. They never knew, and it was like an adventure! well, not really but whatever. But that's not even the cool part of my story
hell, my story doesn't even involve crystal.
well, I only got around to doing two bumps and then I SPILT MY DRUGS ON THE RUG... damnit. And when I caught myself crawling on the floor at 7am after not sleeping at all that night I figured "could this be a prelude to something worse I would do for this drug in the future?" and went to sleep *after having a few tremors and hot flases*
WELL, then the next weekend I decided to use this pill I got for free a double stacked mitsu. supposed to be really good. and this is newyears, and i'm hanging out with the punks and my friends who are all hella hella healla anti-ecstasy so I'm playing with fire. SO I take half and that's fucking perfect. I played it off perfectly all the while my skin is sensitive and I'm hella fucking high. This is good. I had actually forgotten how this felt btw... it had been 4 or 5 months since my last little pill of 90's crack-- correction 00's crack. SHOVE IT UP MY NOSE AND ASS!!! umm. . . or nose just works. yes nose -- I had the other half left and it was Tminus1hour and counting before newyears so upstairs I go to the bathroom and have to chop this shit up. It breaks up real well. No time at all I have this line of E (4 or 5 inches long) layed out and then...
*knock knock*
Umm... busy, peeing and all
*oh ok I'llwait*
Shit fucking martians won't let a man piss in peace.
"Peace man... fuck the 60's THIS IS FUCKING TWO THOUSAND GOD DAMNIT AND I AM HERE RIGHT NOW"
*SNOOOORRRRRTTT*
*snort*
had to get that extra bit.
A little spun...
and a littledrunk. drunk.
Beer and Ecstasy go together by the way. Hell I'm young and my liver will hold up for now. My body asks for this beating by existing and refreshing and regenerating like it does oh so well.
So I open the door and there is my punk friend Donald and I mumble "fancy meeting you here" (speaking out the right side of my mouth as I avert my dialated pupils nd struggle to not sniff or rub my nose.) Ick, damn nasal method of drug intake. The Indians are to blame for the pain behind my eyes right now. Ahh well.
Eat it!
huh?
"Eat it!"
Oh. Umm. yeah this is good barbque, thanks.
"Damn Imustbereally drunk right? are you?"
huh? damn, I need to keep my mouth shut and my glasses on. Shaded so that they don't see my enormous pupils. Big enough to cover my entire eye-area. No matter which direction you looked at them you would see glasses.
Fuck them, Dick Clarck's on.
"THIRTY SECONDS"
10, 9, 8... 3, 2, 1!!!!
WOOOOOO HOOOOO FUCK FUCK FUCK WOOO HOOOOOO
Yeah. yeah. yeeeeah.
y2-fucking capitalistic societal overflow bullshit-k.
Consume Consume CONSUME! All these Y2K specialists have another good year before they're out of a job. What did they do in the first place? Keep telling us that we could blow up or the lights could go out? Did they actually do ANYTHING to try to fix the problem besides warning us, creating mass-histeria and making hundreds of thousands of people stock up on food and water and batteries that they will never use now. We obviously weren't putting enough money back into society for their likes so they scare us into consuming more and giving back more of our check.
WE'RE ALL ONE THIRTY EIGHT!
WE'RE ALL ONE THIRTY EIGHT!
WE"RE ALLLLLL ONE THIRTY EIGHT EIGHT EIGHT!!!!!
(public drunkenness as well as a song by the Misfits)
I was fucking soaked in this champaign from midnight and now I was dancing with a bunch of drunken punks spraying beer on each other singing in chorus to the Misfits "where eagles dare"
I AIN'T NO GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH YOU BETTER THINK ABOUT IT BABY!!!!
YEAH! there ain't nothing better. There wasn't a malicious bone in their body. Jumping around holding on to each other so they don't stumble into the pool of beer beneath us that we just created.
Brotherhood and unity god damnit that's the way it oughta be.
So then me and Donald ended up going back to his house where all our other friends were waiting -- rotten meat in the barrel of a gun and they shot me in the face. **BANG**
FUCK
"WHAST THE FUCK. WFUUCK>"
"GOD DAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK, WHO'S THE FUCKING NAZI." I said as I ducked away behind a counter pulling the cupboard door open and crouching behind it for safety. "Get them DON THERE'S FUCKING NAZIs IN THE HOUSE. You're anti-racist, see to it man, and quick!"
=========
well. I had a fun time. the bang at the end was just a firecracker thrown at us inside some old bologna, which turned into a huge ass bologna fight, throwing them back and forth.
Ahh. I think it's a fitting new years for a guy who doesn't celebrate new years (me).
What's a boy to do?
------------------
_________ ___________
| || || || ||Pyro| || |
______________________

 

[Noodle]

What is Pyro to do? I dunno.
It does sound like you are going through some interesting transitions though. How much of the real you is filtered through that keyboard now a daze anyway?
I still enjoy your posts by the way. Even if they leave me scratching my head.
Do you still think about "her" anymore?
I hope her name isn't Tina.

 

[Pyro]

transitions? In *this* daze? hmm. yes I guess I must agree. Maybe I'm growing? Or maybe I'm stifling and shrinking into nothing?
Yes I do always think about her. except not to the same. extent. I think . about. my. old. friend. Liz more though. remember the one that started taking speed (amphetamine) and was getting carried away. I still remember those daYS... She has since moved to a different state and resides with that same boyfriend who she'll probably marry unfortunatly. I loved her too much and had to let her go, too bad I did it wrong. If somethign like that still keeps me up at night now three years later -- does that mean it will haunt me the rest of my life? Pick away at the inside of my mind until I am old and forgetful and cannot remember? Or until I fuck it away with 'mind expanding' chemicals that serve to stifle me.
They make you forget.
They kill you body
they fuck up your thoughts
they suppress valid thorough expression
yet we still call them mind expanding.
Or something like that.
When my completely anti-ecstasy punk friend donald told me that he "wanted to try it, but of course couldn't cause of the shit he would be given by our friends" and "might as well try it once, might as well try everything once *cept heroin and coke of course* Maybe I'd even try meth once." Of course. I was a bit taken aback. I had to tell him
"No, you don't have to try everything once. I had to, but you don't. It's not worth that ... this... bullshit. Just stick to beer. Don't ever fucking *try* meth"
This is of course because i realize now that I won't be stopping the intake of this chemical anytime soon (meth) and now I figure I'll do E again... maybe. No need for E when you can be clear-headed and energenic without the stigma of the etard.
Fuck it, cut the cord.
Once I looked at drugs so differently. I didn't give a fuck, but then again I smoked weed and did speed once (amphetamine) ok maybe 5 times. and I had never drunk anything alcoholic and did shrooms once. It was all good. I would take codiene to get off at school when there was no pot. People gave me this reputation of being the "pill man" which was cool for awhile until we all started to get into Ecstasy and I didn't want to supply those pills. codiene and valium are diffenet. You ever tried to go to school on valium?

difficult yet entertaining. So I lost my rep as kids figured out that there are better highs out there. So they did it everyweekend and had fun, acted like little babies sucking on their pacifiers in the 12th grade at highschool (the popular kids so no one said anything). And then I sat back and watched this all. Not really smoking much pot anymore and kinda staying sober... sorta. I saw them eventually become jaded to Ecstasy through a few bad experiences with the actual chemical (not fakes or dxm). So they figured that they'd be the 'sober ravers' and tried that for all of 3 weeks before they realized that raving (to them) is all about intoxication. Sobriety -- after the taste of intoxication -- is weak and boring. So they stopped going, they cut their cords. They stopped calling their 'rave friends' and just moved on. Wrote it down in their little pink books with stars on it, then eventually threw such childish things away. To me this proves how disposable the whole rave ideal is. PLUR is disposable, the friends you make, the times you've had, the memories that the drugs erase, and the music form. It can all be thrown away with ease. The drugs are taken and are gone just like that. 20 dollars down the drain. It's all excess capitalism (someone said this before and now I'm starting to agree). They aren't a symbiotic part of you like some kids choose to believe -- they are just disposable waste-lands for mispent youths of all ages. It's today's alcohol party except on a larger scale. Hey? Who wouldn't want ecstasy besides when confronted to choose?
i don't know, we all eat our own words and this place is obviously
pro-rave, but I'm not even going to try to cover my tracks or take back what I've said. To me -- raves are fake and easily disposable. I already covered the disposable part but the fake part is just as simple. The plastic jewelry and glitter just personify this fake-ness. The emotions are forced through drug intake (fake). The things you see are not really there (fake). the place in which you party is not a party area. Often it's a warehouse by day and a rave by night. It's not really a rave but a warehouse (fake).
*blinks*...
------------------
_________ ___________
| || || || ||Pyro| || |
______________________

 

[love2roll]

Hmmmm....
Hey man, I may not agree with all you have to say here, but I give you props for expressing yourself so well. It definitley makes me think...
Much respect.

 

[Noodle]

I'm thinking that you are seeing all that is wrong or are making it wrong.
I spent a lot of time as a teenager and a younger twenty-something seeing all that was wrong and thinking that I was smart because I could see it. Funny thing was I wasn't seeing anything of value. It made me bitter and resentful toward my peers and the world in general. I actually had blinders on the whole time.
I was straight as an arrow then too.

I even turned down a beer on my 21st birthday.
Anyway, I've since realized that the world is not in fact a such a vacant place.
And you know what there Mr. Chipper?
The altered perceptions and consciousness I've since experianced while up on some things has helped me to see this world in a brighter light. Not exactly a rosy red light to dress up everything dark and base and ignorant.
But a warm white light that exposes those things that are beautiful as well as ugly.
You seem to have this sort of problem with crystal. You think and post about enough to make some of us here wonder "what is his deal?"
I personally am not intriuqed.
I like crystal myself. I use it more than you I guess. It does have its own draw backs though. And I almost always wonder why it is that I have to pay such a price for such a great and euphoric body and brain buzz. This I wonder while lying in bed stairing at the ceiling unable to really sleep.
I think that it isn't worth the rings under my eyes, the sounds that I think I hear in this or the next room, that doppleganger or something that follows me around and is moving somewhere just out of my vision.
You know that feeling right? You think someone or thing is sharing the room with you. Creek, creek, is that a door opening? Bang, is that a door closing or did something fall?
And when I spin around to find nothing I go to bathroom and wash the sweaty smell of it from my skin. I scrub and scrub, but still feel icky, not quite clean.
I raise my hand up to the mirror and it shakes. "Man, I should of copped a few more of those xannie bones."
Then I think my room could use a little more cleaning.

That or I should pack a bowl.
Crystal is an ego booster for sure. I tend to be a bit more brash and uninhibited, strong willed and vocal. It has been to my detriment at times. I've been very un-PLUR
on the stuff, but mostly to myself.
I'm still a nice guy inside.

It is just so hard not to see right through, or think I can see right through all of the bullshit and learned behaviors of this society we live in. I become more alert and sensitive to everything that is base and just plain stupid about other peoples behaviors. Even about my own.
I've read posts here that liken it to giving your soul away. Every bump or line burning a little bit more of it away.
I've seen it change many people. I am now seeing how it affects some good friends too. WE do it to feel UP and then we feel really DOWN and then we go UP again only to fall REALLY DOWN again
It all seems like such a waste sometimes, especially at 120 dollars for a quarter gram.
But when I'm up and we've got tunes on and water to drink and each other to talk and bond with it seems alright.
On and on this rant runs, but only because I think you might have heeded Deeps words from a few weeks back young Pyro.
You are a very intelligent and articulate person. Don't let this angst that you feel at this point in your life taint everything that is good about being young and strong and virile.
You are just banging your head against a wall. It is too bad that you'll only get a headache.

 

[*SWeeT-e*]

Hmmm... you know something, in some ways you remind me of me about 6 months ago... a few things changed my "i'm angry at the world, everyone's a fake, life is meaningless, so f**k it all" approach: one was falling in love with my now ex-boyfriend, the other was discovering the rave scene.
Although I respect you for having your own opinion and not giving a shit what other people think, I find what you have to say pretty sad.

We all have a choice: either see only the negative things in life, or look for the unique and beautiful; either be pissed off at the world for what it's done to you, or decide to smile in spite of everything; spread frowns and negativity, or smiles and love... which world would you rather live in?
Yes I am definitely a candy kid

and I know you will think I'm over simplifying your deep-rooted angst (which I am and I apologize for) and you probably won't listen to a word I say, but whenever I spot a cynic I just have to give them a nice big PLUR-y hug... cuz ya know, that's what someone did for me.

PLUR,
kimmy

 

[Pyro]

Ok. I think that you saying "you can either be black or you can be white. You can be good or you can be bad. You can see positive or negative" is something that is false.
I view myself as the more melloncollie type of person. Not tending towards negative (except during those times) and not tending towards positive (except during those times) and sorta just staying in the middle looking left and observing, and looking right then observing what I see.
While you all might see a lot of the negative things I write (or is it that I only write negative things?) I guess you really haven't seen some of my more positive sides. Although, I remember many posts of mine that are positive.
You see to me, even though I just said I like to sit in the middle and be the observer then record what I see (wether it's in my mind or on paper)... I still have a tendency towards the negative things.
To me (I'm not gothic) the dark is more interesting. What's across the room? I don't know, I can't see that far. It's a mystery. Mysteries intrigue people. In the light, you can see it all (the shine, the dirt, the polish, the scratches). But that is dark and light.
Good and bad. Now, for good and bad you have first the good guy. He will always do the same thing in novels and stories. Rescue the princess, save the village, kill the badguy. While the bad guy can go either way. He could save the village (if we wanted to) and would save the princess if she looked good enough. He doesn't have to be all negative all the time, while the good guy has to stick to his good image. The bad guy is more versitile as I see it. Although it's a moot point and could be argued either way.
Plus, this world is corrupt. The governments, the people ... hell your neighbor. They all have their dirty little secrets. Their lies and deceptions. That commandment they've broken to pieces. Who believes this world is not inherently corrupt? Read the bible. This world was give to Satan. --- Satan --- The root of all Evil. This is not God's world right now (wait until the rapture etc the end times). You want to see hell? Look around. Hell isn't the center of the earth, hell is here, right now. Satan is just a normal guy -- he's not the demonic goat figure the idealized catholics have made him out to be. Read the bible, it says you would laugh if you saw Satan and say "This is him? He who caused all of this evil?" or something similar to that. But we SEE BEYOND THAT. We create our own realities and fight the devil's world everydays. We look past the ugly buildings that have uprooted some of the most beautiful of forests and natures. I'm not a green-peace activist by anymeans, it's just that ... well take a look for a second. Try to find the uglyness -- you won't have to look hard. Then, try to find the beauty -- you'll have to squit and focus in your eyes and BELIEVE that it isn't ugly.
But like I said. I don't want to live in that ugly world all the time. With the negative emotions and the fruitless endevors. So I sit in the middle. I don't want to see the whole loved up 'PEACE' world of the muddled 60's either. I think BOTH are lies. If you live in the completely negative world then you are lying to yourself because there IS beauty and positive things that happen all the time. But if you live in a loved up daze all the time, then it's just as bad.
Sometimes I tend towards one side, but we can't all stay seated for too long.
All of this post has been justification. Pointless justification. BUT maybe you will not think so sorely about me after reading it? Probably not actually.
what did I just write? shit... well, gonna send it in anyways in the name of GONZO. unedited, as practice at least?

------------------
_________ ___________
| || || || ||Pyro| || |
______________________

 

[U4EA]

PYRO- YOU WRITE BEAUTIFULLY. I READ ALOT OF SHITE POSTS WHILE BROWSING THOUGH THIS SITE - YOURS ARE NEVER BORING OR PEDANTIC. I DONT KNOW ALOT ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND, BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD REALLY, SERIOUSLY CONSIDER WRITING PROFESSIONALLY. I ONLY DREAM OF WRITING LIKE YOU. YOU HAVE A FLOW AND A CERTAIN WAY WITH WORDS THATS ALMOST HYPNOTIC IN ITS QUALITY. I HOPE YOU ENJOY WRITING IT AS MUCH AS I DO READING IT.
I'M GONNA STOP SUCKIN YOUR COCK NOW - THANXXX
PEACE
PLUR
MALIK

 

[*SWeeT-e*]

Pyro:
Ok, thanks for writing what you did, I think I understand you a bit better now, it's just that most of what I've seen you write IS negative and since all I know of you is what I read, you really can't blame me, right? I think you have a lot of insight and intelligence, even though I may not agree with everything you say, I always respect someone who has a well-thought out opinion.

No point just drifting through life never analyzing or criticizing.
My tendency is actually (believe it or not) much more towards the negative than you might think, it's just my personality. And I have been through some major "downs" in my life. Which is exactly WHY I wrote what I did, I have to work SO hard to try to be happy that maybe I overdo it sometimes. Maybe some of the time I DO live in a "loved-up daze" as you put it, but for me that's better than some of the realities I've experienced at the other end of the spectrum.
NE-wayz, maybe that helps you see where I'm coming from a bit better. Btw, I really enjoy having these kinds of conversations.

PLUR,
kimmy

 

[e_rep]

With jaded eyes and features
You think they really care
Not to big of fan, but I actually like some of there new stuff.
Point me to the sky above,
I can't get there on my own
Hate Danzig though.
If I was to start a band, I'd name it, "Stuck in Neutral", but the initials would be SIN and people might get the wrong idea. Or how about "on something".
Lady and Gentalmen, Here is e_rep, b_rep, and d_rep, and they are "ON SOMETHING"
Yeah, I'd say your definitly growing. In which direction I'm not sure.

I don't know about you, but I love this world so much, I hate it. What it could be opposed to what it is. Yuck. Maybe I just hate people.
And I don't think it's fake, I just think it's momentarily real. Why would I go somewhere real to get away? And if I made that real, what would be fake then?
Sometimes(though I have a problem) on the drugs, like K and E and other heavely things, I want to quit, and wait for that one day when I don't need drugs and am higher than ever. You know that day.
------------------
Forever is in the visuals.

 

[Brock]

yeah know it pretty well