Crystal Meth - Beyond Self-Help -

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I am so lost..... I dont know what's real any more. Honestly. I have 2 fucking realities it seems? And I just seem to drift in and out of them at times. But in one I am being loved, people are here for me, I am working, I am confident, I am like a little kid. And there are so many people who love me or who are here with me. Things are looking up. And I'm decent.... House is coming together.... I dont mind people around me. Theres plenty of food.... I have dreams and Hope's. I sleep good at night. Just overall I feel in control... I have a decent body and I'm not a slut lol..... But also I dont feel malice....

But then suddenly.... I wake up and shits fucked. All of a sudden my family is shunning me. I feel like a complete stranger from every one. I dont "remember" what I used to enjoy. But then I become sketchy shady guy. I suddenly am heartless. I am very desperate and needy. I am constantly struggling. I am stuck in a never ending Hell from my parents trying to control me..... But too extreme extents.... All of a sudden every thing breaks. And.... I mean water heaters, our heater... But it like breaks for months at a time.. And we take cold showers..... Food is scarce. But in this reality.... They abuse me??? Some times I'm left speechless with some of the things that go on here.... but like every thing is bad luck.... And I can never catch a break. I am also being stalked it feels in this dimension.



Could this be psychosis???

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

It could be psychosis and paranoia related to your addiction to Crystal methamphetamine. Can you go to rehab just to get away from the crystal meth and any other drugs you are using? Go to NA and CMA meetings as well.

 

[Xorkoth]

I'm going to move this to The Dark Side, as it really isn't P&S material and you'll get better replies there anyway.

 

[NeverHaddaChance]

Serotonin and Dopamine are tricky little bastards that can play some screwy games with mood and perception. I've been clean from meth since june with one lapse in september, and I still have days where I feel no empathy nor pleasure/drive to do anything at all - and others where I feel oddly okay.

Are you still using? I was daily for around 2 years... It's taken me forever to realize that so much of the pressure to cope like that was coming from the kinds of people you describe in the second perspective, particularly a narcisistic mother-in-law who preyed on my weaknesses like a real champ. Once I distanced myself from people who left me feeling emotionally drained I've found myself craving less. My best advice would be to find a good psych that can help with the climb from the depression hole (I also found vyvance to be helpful with cravings once a little time passed) and to remove yourself from those who are detrimental to your health.

You gotta strengthen those legs, because they're the only two that can carry you away from bad situations. Keep going, I promise it gets better.

 

[Mafioso]

Hey SpaceyKid,

Sounds like stimulant psychosis to me. Please try to be calm as possible, as things will get better in time if you stop using.

It's a good time to seek some professional help. Someone qualified to treat psychosis, like an in-patient mental health or rehab.