So, are you a youngster? Your folks took you in? Just asking- no judgement.
i'm nearly 36 and was being taken by my parents when i was 32. so i'm younger than you but not really young.
before i lost my job, my boss had noticed i was way better (he didn't know what was up just that my attendance and performance were in freefall) when i'd been to my parents or they'd been to visit, cos i couldn't use as much. so he arranged for me to work from theirs every other week. fucking amazingly accommodating and helpful. but yeah my parents figured pretty quickly what was up.
i am really lucky to have my parents, just by how much they've helped me, even though i do have huge issues with my mum, i can see how difficult it must be without that support.
Ah, I see. Well, I am without family of any kind, and never had a caring one so that's a huge disadvantage. Was forced to go No Contact with parents decades ago for purposes of survival. Attempting to do life with undiagnosed complex ptsd from abuse by aforementioned "family" as well as peers for many, many years = unabated shitshow.
I have no supportive backdrop- it would be just me and whatever support group pf strangers, essentially.
Hm.
This is why I never get anywhere in life. The only support I have ever had in life has been paid and transient in nature- therapists and the like. Or free support groups. I truly believe it's the lack of anchoring in any caring backdrop (my spouse mostly ignores me and makes it clear I will be snapped on and further punished with more emotional abuse for having any needs) that has halted my ability to beat addictions. I really just can't do it without anyone who is actually invested.
i'm really sorry that after everything with your family, your husband is not supportive either.
believe it or not, peer support groups, if you find the right ones, can be an amazingly supportive community. you get what you put in obviously, and not all groups will be the same. but where i'm living, the NA guys are amazing. firstly they convinced me to go to rehab cos i kept concocting stupid reasons why i didn't need that help. they do loads of social stuff together, its not like organised fun, its come up organically, but there's constantly people going for coffee/dinner/hikes/to fucking thailand jammy bastards. i really wanna get back into meetings here not cos of the meetings, but cos i miss that social side.
this isn't me trying to push NA btw, i'm pretty sure any peer support group, if it contains the right kind of combination of people, will be similar. its just my experience is in NA. i know you have expressed some reluctance wrt 12 steps and i respect that.