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Contradictions/hierarchy drug use

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Gorillaboy21

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Joined
Dec 8, 2016
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Essentially I met this chick I like and we hang out have a good time she smokes weed so do I , but I'm a heroin addict functional as can be , I go to college good grades honors I work have a good car (not happy though I would have a Maserati if I didn't have a dope habit) and so her and I were having a few beers smoking bud talking at her house and we get to the point where She tells me s story of how she met some guys in downtown LA and they had Coke and pills adderal weed liquor so no biggie right ? Well after that we start getting really close to where we are sbout to hook up for the first time but she wanted to know some things about me and one of the questions, blatantly asks what drugs I've used followed by specifically "have you done heroin? Smoked it or injected it?" And mind you this is a few hours after I've injected And a few hours before I would inject again . I replied with "fuck no! What the fuck kind of question is that hell naw, I've fucked with pills but that's it" and tried to change the subject . The guilt inside me knowing I'm a junky and helpless in terms of quitting, kills me my mood went 180 , I gave her the rest of this 32 oz nice craft beer (9$ Not that it's a lot but it's the point I'm making) that I liked , got up and left immedtiely made up some fake reason .
The stigma behind being a junkie fucking sucks , if you've ever done heroin or meth you're a junkie forever in people's minds always thinking waiting for the moment that you might slip or convinced that you will eventually it's a fucked way of thinking especially when the core of what opiate addicts and junkies period need if love and compassion .
I'm sorry to vent I have no where else to , especially no where else where people are intelligent and nice enough like blue light to have a conversation about it .
Thank you for reading if you did
 
In my eyes your posts are always welcomed to be read. They are little mysterious because there isn't a single drug habit that would keep someone from purchasing a Maserati, unless buying expensive real estate has an intoxicating effect.


Welcome, hope you get off those drugs that or learn math.
 
a drug habit easily can equate paying off a Maserati with monthly purchases like most adults do , I don't understand your post being rude saying learn math that's cute maybe you should do math 40-60$ a day X 30 is 1200-1800$ a month you would keep or in my case I would keep to myself that's enough to pay rent for most people so I don't get your point nor do I care what you have to say if you're gonna be rude
 
Just tell her how you are into dope and addicted. Eventually she will find out, and it's never good to lie about something when starting a relationship. Or do you not plan on dating this woman or seeing her again?
 
^ yep.
Better knowing from you other than finding out. Difficult to forgive in most cases.
 
If you're really as normal and upstanding as you say, it shouldn't be a big deal, especially to someone that's done coke and pills and even asked about smoking or injection (unless it's because it killed her whole family and her puppy and she wants heroin users to die die die, but then you're going to wind up screwed anyway). If you haven't known her long so haven't established that you're an intelligent, sane, moral person, then I don't necessarily agree it's a topic for immediate discussion. Don't deny trying it, but ongoing addiction, it's a topic for friends or partners you reach the 'share your fears and childhood memories with' stage.
 
svacheme3 said:
If you're really as normal and upstanding as you say, it shouldn't be a big deal, especially to someone that's done coke and pills and even asked about smoking or injection (unless it's because it killed her whole family and her puppy and she wants heroin users to die die die, but then you're going to wind up screwed anyway). If you haven't known her long so haven't established that you're an intelligent, sane, moral person, then I don't necessarily agree it's a topic for immediate discussion. Don't deny trying it, but ongoing addiction, it's a topic for friends or partners you reach the 'share your fears and childhood memories with' stage.
Click to expand...

Ya man I agree with you . I swear I don't know maybe it's just where I live in Los Angeles but you'd think if she does Coke and pills she wouldn't look down on it to that extent ? But since h has been an epidemic most girls are on edge when they meet a guy and one of the first questions a lot ask is if you've done hard drugs . I'm not planning to keep it up with this chick cause she's kinda ignorant , like I said Coke pills and even taking morphine here and there is okay!! But meth and h especially h is super low immediate no no . I'm sorry to vent it's just personal I feel it's fucked up that I have girls spend the night and I have to get up sometimes in the middle of the night sneak in my bathroom to do a shot I just feel like such a piece of shit having to sneak around like that I wouldn't want a girl doing that to me
 
Seems to me you may have jumped the gun a bit... unless I missed something in your original post, you didn't give her a chance to react to the facts. How do you know that she would have freaked out if you told her the truth about your habit?
 
(I say this struggling with the same things)

Your own shame is what made this worse. Your negative feelings over your heroin use are what made you not be honest. If as opiate users we were honest about our use, some of the stigma would go away.

People think heroin users look like the stereotypical "junkie" because those are the only people open with their use. When I was home for Thanksgiving my Mom kept telling me how good I looked (I have a chronic stomach illness and had gotten quite emaciated at one point with regular ER visits--not drug related), but it felt weird hearing that from her knowing that heroin is part of my current treatment plan (and I was high at the time). Obviously I didn't have the courage to tell my Mom in that situation, it would not have gone well, but I've certainly told romantic partners. Lying about it for weeks/months on end is way worse than the 1 tough conversation.
 
Maybe she asked because she knew or could tell? Lying about it just makes you seem like you have a more serious problem, tbh.
 
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