Contamination OCD

[deadendgame]

I have this fear that contaminants in my environment may be ingested accidentally. And i fear that this will bring a reduction in my mental acuity. I always suspect that I stumbled upon some chemical, pills, battery acid, etc and that I myself am not aware of. It was debilitating at first but i learned to roll with it. i work in retail so i come in contact with these things on a regular basis. Even being close to garbage scares me because i think it is at least garbage or worse, biohazardous materials. Of course this is very tiring and of course i should get help. But again, i have no health insurance so help is unaffordable.

 

[deadendgame]

I realize that this is some kind of reverse placebo effect

 

[herbavore]

I had a friend that had this same fear to the point that it stopped her from being able to even go outside. She is completely recovered now. She still has the fears but she has some tools that she worked out with a very good psychiatrist that she uses in her thinking to combat the OCD thinking that was overwhelming her.

 

[Man in the Dark]

I have this fear that contaminants in my environment may be ingested accidentally. And i fear that this will bring a reduction in my mental acuity. I always suspect that I stumbled upon some chemical, pills, battery acid, etc and that I myself am not aware of. It was debilitating at first but i learned to roll with it. i work in retail so i come in contact with these things on a regular basis. Even being close to garbage scares me because i think it is at least garbage or worse, biohazardous materials. Of course this is very tiring and of course i should get help. But again, i have no health insurance so help is unaffordable.

Dont drink tap water as the EPA has allowed more radiation in drinking water

https://www.foodandwaterwatch.org/n...-allow-higher-levels-radiation-drinking-water

I Am OCD myself, this probably won't help but should be noted.

 

[Moreaux]

I have OCD and have found exposure therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy very useful in overcoming a lot of the aspect of the condition. Consider speaking to a professional about learning those techniques. Good luck!

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Are you on any medication for your OCD? Or do you talk to a therapist about it? These things can be helpful. Also, telling yourself that the likelyhood of you actually being contaminated or exposed to the chemicals, battery acid, etc. are unlikely or did not happen since if it really did happen and you touched it you would have burns on your body or hands.

 

[thelung]

I have OCD too - i take medication for it and i must say the meds do make a difference. i don't spend as much time stuck in negative-thought loops, also just overall a happier person. I'd look into getting some treatment for your condition.

 

[Rachella666]

I'm the same, mysophobia here & also an emetophobe, it's horrible, mine was so bad that it stopped me being a mother to my two boys who now live with their father, I got it from my mother, it's so tiring & wearing, my heart goes out to you my friend

 

[deadendgame]

I wish I had medication. The one medication that helped was xanax, but doctors don't want to prescribe it to me because they think it's addictive. When I take the xanax, it sedates me, puts me in a good mood, and makes me not give a fuck. Unfortunately, I don't have it. I'm still on remeron though and I have to be honest. Remeron only helps me sleep or rather is a requirement for sleep now. It does nothing for my OCD/anxiety. I might take some benedryl I dunno

 

[Moreaux]

I'm the same, mysophobia here & also an emetophobe, it's horrible, mine was so bad that it stopped me being a mother to my two boys who now live with their father, I got it from my mother, it's so tiring & wearing, my heart goes out to you my friend

I have mysophobia, not so much because of my OCD but because my mother fell extremely ill when I was growing up and was bed ridden for ten years because of unsanitary conditions. However, the OCD grabs a hold of that at times. At my worse I had to use exposure therapy to overcome that issue. I used to use only disposable dishes and utensils as I couldn't bring myself to touch dirty dishes. I actually threw a set out because I couldn't touch them to wash them, let alone touching the sponge (still absolutely creeps me out...woof). I used exposure therapy to help get over the bulk of the issue and now I make concessions (use sponge once and then microwave in vinegar), keep water heater st 160 degrees so I can let water run over stuff before I touch it, things like that. Have you considered therapy for those issues as they can be quite debilitating?

I wish I had medication. The one medication that helped was xanax, but doctors don't want to prescribe it to me because they think it's addictive. When I take the xanax, it sedates me, puts me in a good mood, and makes me not give a fuck. Unfortunately, I don't have it. I'm still on remeron though and I have to be honest. Remeron only helps me sleep or rather is a requirement for sleep now. It does nothing for my OCD/anxiety. I might take some benedryl I dunno

Have you tried any type of therapy? While Xanax can ease the symptoms initially I think it can make it worse in the long run, at least it did in my situation. I threw myself wholly into CBT. It took a couple years but I am not medication free as I can manage my symptoms. In 2010 my OCD was so persistently bad they my family and and I were considering an institution. Prior I had been on medications and Xanax, and found the therapy to be the most effective long term solution.

 

[deadendgame]

I dont have health insurance. I cant get any therapy for this because that would run up my health bills up the wazoo. I did talk to a therapist but not about this because other things were priority. But another thing is i have a tedency to salivate because i believe i ingested some poison and that spitting it out may eliminate it. But I always have saliva in my mouth and a bathroom or trashcan is not always available for me to spit it out. I have a trashcan in my room, one separate just for saliva and at the end of the day, it's full. I did not tell anyone about this behavior because it is crazy as fuck

 

[Moreaux]

If you can't see a therapist look up cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It's something you can teach yourself, and it works great with OCD. It does take some time to learn, but it's worth the effort. I started learning it to manage anxiety during benzo withdrawal and OAWS, and now I don't take medication. You said you're open to medication, normally I don't advise antidepressants but I did find both Zoloft and Effexor (on different occasions) to be decent short term remedies for OCD. If you go the antidepressant route, really consider learning CBT while you're on the antidepressant. Also, if you're looking for a more immediate solution to anxiety Indural (propranolol) works well to stop the adrenaline response that accompanies anxiety. It's a beta blocker that is not addictive. It prevents full blown anxiety attacks and keeps it at a manageable level. I actually keep a bottle for emergencies, though I seldom take it.

 

[deadendgame]

I didnt want to admit this, but I am too stupid to get help. Im sure that when i waltz into a doctor's office, i cannot even get into the building. Like the first question they gonna ask is, "what's your insurance?" And my reply is gonna be "i dont have it". If they dont kick me out, theyre gonna bill me up the wazoo. I do not even know how to get into the social security office. I cant even sit still for my number to be called, and when i can, i literally have no idea what the hell to say. I realize that I may need a proxy. I can communicate in English, but I have no idea how to elaborate my illness. I been diagnosed with every single mental disorder in the book and so it is hard to say what I have. I'm obviously crazy as fuck but getting help without compromising your job prospects or reputation is IMPOSSIBLE!! IMPOSSIBLE!! I dont know what the hell is HIPAA but they dont follow it. Once you been in the psych ward, your friends' friends' friends' suddenly knows and every employer suddenly knows. I dont know what the hell but it is the way it is. I dont want to compromise my shit any more than I already have. And i want to say, I don't like the United States. It is extremely hard to even stay alive let alone get help around here.

 

[deadendgame]

The only things that relieves my stress is video games and movies. But society says I cant even do that so i really have no outlet. As i said, I been on every medication in the book. The reason why I know so much about drugs is because I took most of them. I been on those antidepressants and antipsychotics. Not only do they make me stupid, asexual, and gain weight, they have horrible withdrawals when you get off of them. So almost zero benefit is derived from using those. I know which medications help but these medications are ones I gotten in trouble with on the past. One I like is remeron. The only thing me and my doctor agrees about. A noncontrolled antidepressant that guarentees sleep which also leaves my mental acuity intact so I can drive okay in the morning. The problem is I am addicted now. The only CBT I do is that I know when I am about to do an important thing, I somehow know that shit is forreal. And although I obsess about it, it turns out okay because I manage to pull myself together. But I'm just a man. I'm not God. I can't guarantee that things will be okay every single day. Why does society expect this of me? I cannot meet this expectation.

 

[Moreaux]

I didnt want to admit this, but I am too stupid to get help. Im sure that when i waltz into a doctor's office, i cannot even get into the building. Like the first question they gonna ask is, "what's your insurance?" And my reply is gonna be "i dont have it". If they dont kick me out, theyre gonna bill me up the wazoo. I do not even know how to get into the social security office. I cant even sit still for my number to be called, and when i can, i literally have no idea what the hell to say. I realize that I may need a proxy. I can communicate in English, but I have no idea how to elaborate my illness. I been diagnosed with every single mental disorder in the book and so it is hard to say what I have. I'm obviously crazy as fuck but getting help without compromising your job prospects or reputation is IMPOSSIBLE!! IMPOSSIBLE!! I dont know what the hell is HIPAA but they dont follow it. Once you been in the psych ward, your friends' friends' friends' suddenly knows and every employer suddenly knows. I dont know what the hell but it is the way it is. I dont want to compromise my shit any more than I already have. And i want to say, I don't like the United States. It is extremely hard to even stay alive let alone get help around here.

You can call doctor's offices and ask if they take your insurance, though most doctor' offices have websites that give that information. Google doctors in your area and investigate. If you want to get disability or insurance through the social security office when you go tell them you would like to start the process of getting insurance and/or disability. They also have a website, but I will say it's not the easiest to understand. Do you have family or close friends by you? If you have said this previously I am sorry to ask if I should know the answer...I am embarrassed to say that my memory is terrible so I don't remember. If you do, have them help you navigate social security.

HIPPA is a set of policies put in place to protect your privacy. It means you can get treatment without the medical practitioners discussing with anyone but who you say they can discuss it with - work will not find out unless you discuss it with them or you tell other people and they tell your work. I worked a high level high security software development job for the government for several years while I was receiving mental health treatment for OCD and addiction. My work was never notified about my issues until I had to discuss it with them to take time off to go to rehab. It's not impossible to get treatment and keep a good job. If you have people in your life discussing your private issues with others tell them to stop because it is hurting you and making your situation worse. If they don't stop them don't discuss private matters with them anymore.

You sound like you're having a particularly difficult time right now, I hope it starts to get better