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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Heroin Come to realize something

P

Prettyboy12

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
333
Hey BL family! I pinched my change enough to get myself a 20 of black tar heroin. I have come to realization since being out of rehab...i like doing heroin. It controls my pain to the point I can actually function all day...and to be honest I like the high I get.
I just have to figure out how to continue using responsibly so my bills get paid FIRST and stay out of my veins for as long as possible.
How many of Yall are able to do this?
 
Prettyboy12 said:
Hey BL family! I pinched my change enough to get myself a 20 of black tar heroin. I have come to realization since being out of rehab...i like doing heroin. It controls my pain to the point I can actually function all day...and to be honest I like the high I get.
I just have to figure out how to continue using responsibly so my bills get paid FIRST and stay out of my veins for as long as possible.
How many of Yall are able to do this?
Click to expand...

Very few people who had a problem to the point of having to go to rehab can control their use and not spiral into the same (or worse) problems. And let's be honest, of COURSE you like the high! So do we all. Let me just relate this to you, my experience. I have spent about 13 years of the last 18 years of my life on opioids. Every single time I have quit and started again, even one time, I end up quickly spiraling into right where I left off. It is utterly impossible for me. What you are experiencing right now is the classic addict brain convincing yourself that this next time, it's going to be different. I hardly know anyone who has had a serious problem be able to continue using without problems. In fact the only perspon I know who can do it at all is my friend, but he uses kratom, and even then struggles to avoid using too much for dependence to form. The times he has tried to go back to H, his life falls apart, But he can just barely use kratom responsibly. I can't even do that, it just leads to using harder opiates after a while.

The fact that you have pain does complicate things, but I simply cannot say that you have much of a chance of controlling it... because from what I have seen from myself and many, many friends and acquaintenances... the chances that you can are extremely small.
 
Xorkoth said:
Very few people who had a problem to the point of having to go to rehab can control their use and not spiral into the same (or worse) problems. And let's be honest, of COURSE you like the high! So do we all. Let me just relate this to you, my experience. I have spent about 13 years of the last 18 years of my life on opioids. Every single time I have quit and started again, even one time, I end up quickly spiraling into right where I left off. It is utterly impossible for me. What you are experiencing right now is the classic addict brain convincing yourself that this next time, it's going to be different. I hardly know anyone who has had a serious problem be able to continue using without problems. In fact the only perspon I know who can do it at all is my friend, but he uses kratom, and even then struggles to avoid using too much for dependence to form. The times he has tried to go back to H, his life falls apart, But he can just barely use kratom responsibly. I can't even do that, it just leads to using harder opiates after a while.

The fact that you have pain does complicate things, but I simply cannot say that you have much of a chance of controlling it... because from what I have seen from myself and many, many friends and acquaintenances... the chances that you can are extremely small.
Click to expand...
For now I am ok because I dont have regular access to a car to go get any H plus I am living with my parents right now. I have a friend who on occasion can drive to me but its not often.
I do get 60 Dilaudid every month and my friend showed me how to IM them so I will be using those in place of H.
I wish I had never tried H tbh because it has almost wrecked my life. I am however proud of myzelf for staying out of my veins!
 
Prettyboy12 said:
Hey BL family! I pinched my change enough to get myself a 20 of black tar heroin. I have come to realization since being out of rehab...i like doing heroin. It controls my pain to the point I can actually function all day...and to be honest I like the high I get.
I just have to figure out how to continue using responsibly so my bills get paid FIRST and stay out of my veins for as long as possible.
How many of Yall are able to do this?
Click to expand...
Slippery slope my friend. Id be willing to bet my left nut that everyone of us has said and felt the same thing at least once....be safe
 
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It's not likely. Your're living with your parents fresh out of rehab, The fact that you can't keep off the heroin in that situation says it all, doesn't it? Someone who's going to use drugs responsibly knows when it's appropriate to use and when not to.. this definitely a time NOT to use.Use the money / time you save to find a job and a place.. Have you ever considered methadone or suboxone?
 
Outlier said:
It's not likely. Your're living with your parents fresh out of rehab, The fact that you can't keep off the heroin in that situation says it all, doesn't it? Someone who's going to use drugs responsibly knows when it's appropriate to use and when not to.. this definitely a time NOT to use.Use the money / time you save to find a job and a place.. Have you ever considered methadone or suboxone?
Click to expand...
Suboxone was the only way for me but I stay off all opis IM anyways. 10 years of addiction was enough. Now my shitis pretty much under control with my version or "clean" for me, but most people couldn't handle what I do because I do use a certain the other end of the spectrum uppers big bad, put 5 to 10mg in caps when my adhd meds run out. Just in case of emergency. I bet if I didn't have adhd I'd be redosing every hour. My friend tried my system but no go, anyways something different works for everyone, but be careful man I was where you were. Hiding rigs in the walls socks, silently shooting in the dead of night.

Be careful man the worst almost always tends to accelerate 0 to 1000 full speed into your life when it comes to H for dwners and crack or meth for upppers.

If I smoked it, like I used to, well I'd consider it a relapse.. because I'd be dosing every 5 minutes
 
Slippery slope my friend. Until recently in life I always just went with the addiction. Only recently have I been trying to do better and I now I see just how easy it is to slide. I'm fine with pot and booze.... I can Dibble dabble with stimulants if I'm careful.... opioids don't work and the stronger they are the more I get lost in the fog of thinking I'm just fine when things are getting totally fucked up.
 
Prettyboy12 said:
Hey BL family! I pinched my change enough to get myself a 20 of black tar heroin. I have come to realization since being out of rehab...i like doing heroin. It controls my pain to the point I can actually function all day...and to be honest I like the high I get.
I just have to figure out how to continue using responsibly so my bills get paid FIRST and stay out of my veins for as long as possible.
How many of Yall are able to do this?
Click to expand...
Sure. My former name, my legal name, Rachamim, Ibecame medically addicted from wae woubds in 1980s, & was serving in places where opium poppies stretched for literally kms. The military I served in gqve me w few choices so that I ended up om Morphine Maintenaince & here I am literally almost to the exact day, 40-years into an opiate/opioid addiction.

they key is to get an affordable, comsistent supply of whatever opiate/opioid does the tricn.it is very doable
Prettyboy12 said:
Hey BL family! I pinched my change enough to get myself a 20 of black tar heroin. I have come to realization since being out of rehab...i like doing heroin. It controls my pain to the point I can actually function all day...and to be honest I like the high I get.
I just have to figure out how to continue using responsibly so my bills get paid FIRST and stay out of my veins for as long as possible.
How many of Yall are able to do this?
Click to expand...
 
Rachamim.... If I'm thinking of the right handle you used to post quite alot on here and some pretty knowledgeable stuff I'd I'm not mistaken. Good to see you're around still.
 
Outlier said:
It's not likely. Your're living with your parents fresh out of rehab, The fact that you can't keep off the heroin in that situation says it all, doesn't it? Someone who's going to use drugs responsibly knows when it's appropriate to use and when not to.. this definitely a time NOT to use.Use the money / time you save to find a job and a place.. Have you ever considered methadone or suboxone?
Click to expand...
The only problem with me trying subs is that I do take pain medication legally from my pain doctor. Unless suboxone can help with chronic pain I cant switch.
 
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