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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Cocaine Cocaine Causing Surge in Impulsivity

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brifkin33

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 28, 2019
Messages
59
Hi,

I am a cocaine binge user who typically consumes 2 eight balls of coke in one sitting over the course of 8-12 hours. The entire time I am snorting the cocaine I am listening to EDM house music and looking at tight jeans models.
Here’s the kicker: While looking at the photos over the course of the evening/early morning hours I become increasingly impulsive due to the sexual stimuli. Anything that comes to my mind no matter how destructive seems like a great idea (I can’t give examples because last time the post was removed). All my question is is this normal while doing large amounts of blow or is something wrong with my brain chemistry to think this way? In a sober state I have zero desire to be destructive.
 
Those are called loops. Rumination. Don't, try and find a way to break through. Even if it's a small thing, try and confront the thing and make it bigger. That's a way to get out, if you don't confront it you can't escape it. Yin-yang.
 
Coke has def helped folks wanna fuck and/or kill before, but your mind can just get offkilter when you're drained.

slight judgement incoming: Using 1/4 oz of cocaine in the course of 10 hours to yourself ain't so good an idea, so you should probably expect to feel shitty any time you do that. And definitely can give you heart problems super fast.

You could test your shit, wash it, and weigh it so you're not just bashing down 25% quality up your schnozz expecting a good buzz.

I get it, it's hard to stop, but it seems like many of the problems people run into is simply pushing the limits of our bodies for these things. I include myself in this of course as I do the same shit. For me nothing good will ever come from doing more than a g or two over that same time. And I mean even that's kinda ludicrous without tolerance.

Be careful out there and try to pace yourself. I like looking at the time to give me a little gauge and only do a certain amount over certain intervals if I'm struggling with compulsion.
 
brifkin33 said:
All my question is is this normal while doing large amounts of blow or is something wrong with my brain chemistry to think this way? In a sober state I have zero desire to be destructive.
Click to expand...

I used to be very impetuous on cocaine but it turned out I had bipolar disorder that was very tried up with drugs. My pattern of behaviour was long periods of normal then go manic then become drug fiend (and do weird manic shit) then stop. Rinse/.repeat. Maybe think about how often and how compulsively you get on the coke. If it is a long term on/off pattern with compulsive binges maybe that’s a clue. However, I notice you said you are never destructive when straight - although mania is not always destructive.
 
brifkin33 said:
I get very geeked out and feel numb, euphoric, my body trembles from nervous energy, and become very horny
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I also rail the coke right out of the bag after crushing and grinding it up. I become so geeked that my lips and jaw move side to side. I need to gulp Gatorade to prevent myself from having convulsions or a seizure. It is so addicting!
 
Gatorade probably wont help much with a seizure but I have not looked much into that. Yep it is. I wish you the very best!!! <3
 
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