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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Cleantime/Sobriety Countdown

Just want to say how hard I know everyone here is working to break free. Don't give up. Accepting yourself is at the bottom of everything. Work on building a place for peace inside.<3
 
3rd day so far.FML. Im stuck home all day, so get this, 2 friends stopped by yesterday with gifts. I actually said "no". I dont know what is going on with me,but withdrawl is lurking in the back of how i feel especially coming off a huge bender just saying
 
^good for your for turning it down. I'm on day seven off of kratom and other than a runny nose and waking up too dam early I feel pretty normal. Now that's over with I gotta taper off benzos which is going to be kind of scary as I have been taking one or the other daily for three years now. I switched to a less stressful cubical job which definitely helped me kick the kratom. I'm also about to get my insurance back so hopefully I can get a seroquel script for sleep when I drop off.
 
So I used Again Thursday night which lead to using Friday night as well, as always I tryed to save enough from Thursday night to tweak again Friday this didn't happen. After my binge Thursday night which was only meant to be a couple of bowls, turned into a whole night of smoking. Any way the bit i saved a few small shards and a bit if powder in the corner of my bag, smoked a small bowl Fri night around 6pm and snorted a bit of the powder hoping that would get me going, well I didn't get any rush, I did feel more awake considering i still hadn't slept from Thursday night, my pupils did dilate but no rush no overly good feelings at all, in fact it left me craving more an hour later. I fell asleep around 11:40 pm Fri night. Now I wanna Quit Again cause the chasing the initial rush is consuming all my money and I know for a fact my person who gets it for me is taxing some. Is it bad tho that I just want one more Night on, One last big tweak sesh? Or is it better I just begin my sobriety again feeling I missed one good farewell tweak?
 
4 days so far. Thanks Flowers I can't believe I actually did turn it down. There is a small part of me that feels good. Hey Crizzle, I am fighting that one more time or that one last time right now it is minute to minute
 
Day 5, wow who would of thought. I don't know why, or when I actually decided to work towards sobriety this time, but it sucks, and I am hanging in there.
 
In 14 years, I've been sober for MAYBE a cumulative time of 3-5 days. This moment right now marks 26 hours into my first REAL attempt at recovery.

I feel stronger than I ever have. And yes, I know... Beware the clock, as they say. But as far as I'm concerned, this is the one.
 
14YearsOfFlux said:
In 14 years, I've been sober for MAYBE a cumulative time of 3-5 days. This moment right now marks 26 hours into my first REAL attempt at recovery.

I feel stronger than I ever have. And yes, I know... Beware the clock, as they say. But as far as I'm concerned, this is the one.
Click to expand...

Keep up the hard work! Feel free to message me if you need to talk/vent.
 
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