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Cheating.. Has it happened to you? Have you cheated? And Can you move on from it..

Could never cheat on my partner. I give myself to that person. I expect the same in return so if I were cheated on I would be pretty crushed.
 
I've been cheated on by a few and cheated on every single girl I was ever in a relationship with in the past.

For me it was a lack of self respect - needing an ego boost from anyone who wanted to ride my dick if they had a pretty face...workedd for hours or even weeks at a time, bbut ultimately it just resulted in shame.

Then after realizing mongamy wasn't right for me (or rather committed relationships) until I'd worked on myself a lot more, it became a non-issue as I just decided to have friends with benefits, as I had done for years in between relationships - much better while I'm still not boyfriend material - lay your cards down and it's not quite as easy to get hurt & upset...still possible, but often works out OK.

Wanna get past it if you got cheated on? Forgive them - we're only human. Ask why they did it first - list all the reasons why they would cheat, then ask one by one if that was the reason, was that the reason? Listen to their tone of voice, and read their body language.

If they're not lying (or just a player, who finally admits it), accept that we all make mistakes and it's part of the learning curve of life & love.

If you cheated on them - tell them exactly why you did it. Be honest - bite your pride, and if they break up with you - well you only have yourself to blame init?!
 
Well for me, I was dating a girl for 2 years and I kissed a girl behind her back once. I felt bad about and never did anything else. It was only a 5 second french kiss but I still felt terrible about it. Didn't feel as bad when I found out a day after we broke up (after dating for two years) she was hooking up with my best friend (of 5 years). I think it depends on the situation. That definitely felt like cheating to me. She never did anything to make up for it and my "friend" denies anything happened so I decided I don't need people like that in my life. If either of them were sincerely sorry I would have forgiven them. It's just in my nature. I find it hard to hold grudges. This is the first that has really stuck.
 
Just ask yourself if you got really hurt that person if you want to put yourself in that position again. Trust me, their are so many wonderful people out there who won't cheat on you. If they do cheat on you, and they do not come clean and feel genuinely bad about doing what they did, than they probably aren't worth your time.
 
I cheated once. As stated before in this thread being "fucked up" is not an excuse, but in my situation that's ultimately what allowed things to go as far as they did. My ass was carried out of a bar by someone I hardly knew (met him for the first time that night, but had talked to him online/shared mutual friends). I was placed into his car and before I knew it, he was on top of me. It all happened so quickly, but lasted all but a minute or so before I could comprehend what was going on. I told him that I didn't want this and as tears started to well up in my eyes, he got off of me.

The only memories I have are just a few short movie-like clips of that night. I remember trying to explain how to get to my house from where we were, I remember sitting at my front door and looking for my phone to call my BF at the time. Between hysterical sobs I told him everything that had taken place and that I loved him so incredibly much. I didn't sleep at all that night. I waited until I sobered up enough to drive the 40 minutes to his house to tell him face to face and pray to god he'd stay with me, even though I expected the worst.

This happened around 7 months in our relationship, but we continued to date for over another year. I slowly deteriorated over time though. I let myself go, I stopped taking care of myself..I hated myself. He grew into an angry and violent (never towards me) person who would never look at me with the same eyes again. He ended it in May finally saying that he couldn't take it anymore. I admire him for being strong enough to know that we both we're falling apart from the inside out. I think cheating is pretty hard to forget, but I believe under some circumstances, it is possible to forgive. We don't rule out the possibility of trying again someday, but we're currently take time for ourselves and to do the growing up that both of us need. I still think about him every single day though.

There is absolutely no reason to cheat. Everyone should know their limits, boundaries, and be able to recognize the love that they have for their partner.
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SI, I don't think you cheated. What you describe was unwanted and I'm really sorry it happened. That's horrible. I think it's unfair to yourself to say you cheated. That is not cheating.
 
^ Not only did she not cheat, but she needs to get rape victim counseling.
 
I can't help but to feel responsible for allowing myself to accept as many drinks as I did and allowing myself to lose control. I never claimed rape because once I asked him to stop he did. He was just being an asshole guy who fed a girl a bunch of drinks to take advantage. What hurt's more is afterwards him telling people, "I knew I could get her". He is know married to his now constantly in denial wife, a relationship that lacked any sort of real substance. While the amazing and loving relationship that I was lucky enough to share with the guy that I did fell apart at the seams. Life is just unfair.
 
^ Chica, I know this is just a forum so it doesn't mean much, but you should be able to be passed out drunk on the floor unconscious and not expect to have some asshole do that. We're supposed to think men are morons who can't keep it in their pants, when really it's these guys like the one you met that are pieces of shit and plenty of men would have recognized it for what it is: you were incapacitated.

Please don't blame yourself. Yes, life is unfair, but we should expect our fellow man/woman to have some common fucking decency. The guy is a scumbag, and it's ok for you to say that. You did not cheat, and that guy will strike again and hopefully someone takes a stiletto to his nutsack the next time.
 
^SI, you really shouldn't blame yourself for what happened and you certainly shouldn't consider it cheating on your boyfriend. You didn't want that to happen, you didn't understand what was going on and once you did you told him to stop - how is that cheating? Don't put that weight on your shoulders <3
Someone had sex with me while I had a boyfriend. I was so drugged (I'd been so drugged) parts of it I can't even remember but for all I know I wasn't trying to stop him when it happened - but I know I wasn't in my real state of mind and I know consciously it's NEVER something I would have done. I blame him for every bit of it because he drugged me and took advantage of me against my will. Your situation THANKFULLY didn't go so far but it's the same idea - it wasn't your fault dear.
 
One of my good friends (female) passed out at a party and i looked after her to make sure she was alright (i liked her a lot at the time too). When she came to, she was all over me, batting her eye lashes with her sapphire blue eyes, laying on me, telling me she wanted me. I carried her to her room, tucked her into her bed, made sure she was comfortable. Brought her some water and made sure she had a garbage can handy. I periodically went back to her room (every half hour or so) to make sure she was still okay. The next morning she asked what happened and i told her. She looked extremely embarassed and asked if we did anything. I told her there was no way i could do that to a girl. I told her that if she wanted to pursue anything it would have to be in a lot more sober manner. I took her to breakfasy, bought her some extra strength tylenol for her headache and cautioned her that not all guys will do what i did. Needless to say she never got nearly that messed up again.
 
taking advantage of women is the lowest of the low. Don't TRY to get someone unconcsious. Ask. "can i buy you a drink." Or if youre doing harder stuff or tripping ask, "hey, do you know where you are? Whats my name? are you okay"
 
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