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Cheat or not to Cheat

Well.. the baby / pregnancy issue kind of changes things, no? And having neurological issue + pregnancy = more issues. Either the pregnancy is causing or issues, or babies are causing a temporary fix. You can't keep having babies every 2 years, eh? Get the tubes tied. No more children.
Each additional child = more stress and causes havoc with brain chemistry. Think of that Yate's woman - she had 5 kids and drowned them all for Jesus.

Having children adds complexity to life, not make things easier.

With light of this new (and important) information. Your priority is OPTION 2: She should be seeing someone now and after birth. Her postpartum depression is going to be high after this next birth.
 
Two is the max for us, and I am getting the fix. she wants to get her's done too though,
 
I could never cheat on someone that I truly loved. I have been with my girlfriend four a little over four years now. If I sat here and told you I have never thought about being with another girl since being with her I would be completely full of shit. We have had our ups and downs throughout our time together, and sometimes we can't stand each other. That's love I guess at least in our experience.

Those feelings we have at times always pass though with good times to follow. The point for me is that if I ever were to feel that I was going to act on those impulses to be with another, usually fueled by anger that never stays long, I would let her know first. I could never cheat on someone I truly loved then just go home and pretend like nothing happened. The guilt would destroy me. It would be written all over my face. POS would be stamped on my forehead and there would be no denying it if caught. The shame. Just my take.
 
Update, I am trying to talk to her about these problems and she keeps avoiding the topic. Last night she claimed she was tied and wanted to go to bed but then played solitare for an hour on her laptop. Tonight she stay up late and wouldn't kiss me even for concerns i might have bad breath.

ITS GETTING MORE FRUSTRATING!

She knows this really bothers me, but its like she can't accept that she needs to change.

Hell two years in a row, I couldn't even get sex on my birthday, let alone even a fucking present.
 
Sounds all too familiar. Fuck that shit. Why even be in a relationship with someone like that? You deserve someone who cares more about you than she does, obviously.
 
Agreed. Tell her how unhappy she is making you and explain how you cannot remain faithful if this is how things are going to be. I personally would not put up with that and neither should you. Getting back to the question. Don't cheat on her get a divorce if you have to. Cheating on her would not do anything to fix this situation. Don't lower yourself. Be strong and tell her how you really feel.
 
I know it's tough but I would certainly wait until after the pregnancy (and after the initial exhausting baby stages) before trying to cover these issues with her: Hormones can be a mess and she probably isn't in the right frame of mind to think about and talk about sex and especially about lifting her game.
 
Once again it goes back further in our relationship. I'm not really wanting to cheat, but I need somekind of physical romance.
 
Some women get really horny during pregnancy. Some completely lose their sex drive. Some change throughout the trimesters

Hormones do funny things to a woman

Excuses such as being tired and bad breath are just a way to put up a wall around her. She feels not in the mood and is pushing you away.

It's probably going to be after pregnancy til she's back to normal but then again some women's sex drive changes during the pregnancy.

But talk to her and get her take on things. If she really doesn't want to have sex maybe it'll be a relief to her if you look elsewhere. Maybe she doesn't realize what a big deal it is to you if her hormones are off and she's not having desires. But unless she is psychic you are going to need to talk and communicate
 
Then tell her you need an open relationship... or something. (sorry - but you shouldn't have kid #2 with such problems before this pregnancy).
Its not uncommon for pregnant women to allow your guys to have sex with others. I was given that option - but I personally didn't do it. We cuddled, kissed, made-out - and did what we could while she was pregnant... so it was about a 2~3 month period of no sex (do to issues), but she was horny and we have a connection then and now.

You don't seem to be getting anything. And all the other past problems + pregnancy = big mess.

In reality, unless YOU really talk to her and you both FEEL that you BOTH want to be together and will MAKE THE EFFORT with couples counseling - then your marriage is DOOMED. Sooner or later SO go ahead and face that fact with her.

With that in mind.
1 - does she want to stay with you or have any love for you? (NO = separate and divorce)
YES =
2 = Counseling and/or open relationship.
3 = Does she simply NOT want sex and intimacy? (NO = separate and divorce)

Hopefully you both can equally care about the kids and make sure they know they are not the cause of separation.
So yes, if you can both have an amicable separation in which you will stay around or in the household as DAD - until you get another place and move out.
You will stay and help with the pregnancy... and after that... its up to you.

There is no great time for the breakup with kids. But I'd do it sooner... Again, only if she has no desire to fix things.

Eventually, you will cheat.
 
@CrzyDiamond : Guys will be guys... as the saying goes: if you don't satisfy your man, he'll get it from somewhere else.
 
tomdpimp said:
Update, I am trying to talk to her about these problems and she keeps avoiding the topic. Last night she claimed she was tied and wanted to go to bed but then played solitare for an hour on her laptop. Tonight she stay up late and wouldn't kiss me even for concerns i might have bad breath.

ITS GETTING MORE FRUSTRATING!

She knows this really bothers me, but its like she can't accept that she needs to change.

Hell two years in a row, I couldn't even get sex on my birthday, let alone even a fucking present.
Click to expand...

That's where I am with my asshole, so I have decided that I'm going to see other people. I told him, he's pissed, and still not willing to work on things. I'm going to do what makes me happy now and I'm not catering to his needs anymore since mine aren't on his radar...his loss especially since everyone has walked out on him and I decided to try to make things work after he lied, hid his past, and pretended to be someone he's not (Mr. affectionate and I love to please my partner).
 
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