tripanoply
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2015
- Messages
- 1
Hi,
First off, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read my post. I posted in this area of the forum because I want feedback from people who are knowledgeable about pharmacology. I'll start by giving medical history as it relates to opiates
I have a long history of opiate use, on-and-off, for the past 15 years. I started as an IV heroin user in my teens-- kicked that a few times and relapsed a few times, went to rehab, relapsed, got on methadone for two years (120mg), did one of those shady medical opiate-detox programs that cost $15k where they put you under general anesthesia and pump you full of a cocktail opiate antagonists. I still spent a month in withdrawal after that. After another small bout with heroin at age 22 I got about 3 years of sobriety under my belt and then had some run-ins with poppy tea, which usually lasted only a month or two before I would taper off. Generally speaking, I've been sober about 95% of the time for the past 10 years.
Last year I had a stomach bug and took some lopermide, which lead to a weird little lope habit whereby I was taking 30mgs of lope a day with white grapefruit juice and Tagamet (and having perfectly fine BM's). I decided that I should stop doing that so I started making my own opium (I won't go into details, but it was the real-deal).
Child protective services found out about my opium habit, but they can't tell the difference between that and heroin in a urine test so they accused me of using heroin and took my 5 year old boy away. I tried kicking the opium but it was the worst withdrawal I've ever had, and I've had some bad ones (once, my girlfriend shoved a naltrexone down my throat after she found out about an H habit I was hiding). Opium withdrawal is seriously insanely crazy bad. Anyway, I found an angel of a doctor who prescribed me subtext for “lower back pain” with the idea that he would slowly taper me off. This doctor doesn’t know much about the pharmacology of opiates, and started me at 16mgs. I had to be in acute withdrawal first so that the partial-agonist properties of the bupe wouldn’t precipitate withdrawals.
The subtext made me right again, but the the bottom line is that I do not want to be on opiates. They turn me into an asshole and an emotional basket-case where every little thing is a complete catastrophe. I have way more emotional fortitude in sobriety, which is kind of ironic; And I need my emotional strength to deal with this CPS case. It’s terrible.
So 8 days ago I jumped ship at 16mgs of subtext. The withdrawals have been hell, and the straw that broke the camel’s back was when I fainted and bashed my head in the bathroom. So I took 2mgs of Subtext. My “logic” was that the 2mg would be a “kicker dose,” which is something that is talked about with regard to bupe tapering, whereby you slowly get down to 0mg, stay there for a few days then take 2mgs and let the long half-life ease you down. As with most anecdotal treatment modalities, it’s a polarized issue where some swear by it and others say it just prolongs the agony.
I’m feeling really guilty and like I ruined all my progress. I was at day 8! Im really kicking myself for this. So I just wanted to ask the community here for advice. Should I taper from the 2mg? Should I see if the “kicker dose” works? I didn’t really do it right because I wasn’t tapering, I just cold-turkied for 8 days and by my math, given the supposed elimination half-life (37 hours), I would still have .5mg of bupe in my system. I dunno. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Kind Regards
First off, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read my post. I posted in this area of the forum because I want feedback from people who are knowledgeable about pharmacology. I'll start by giving medical history as it relates to opiates
I have a long history of opiate use, on-and-off, for the past 15 years. I started as an IV heroin user in my teens-- kicked that a few times and relapsed a few times, went to rehab, relapsed, got on methadone for two years (120mg), did one of those shady medical opiate-detox programs that cost $15k where they put you under general anesthesia and pump you full of a cocktail opiate antagonists. I still spent a month in withdrawal after that. After another small bout with heroin at age 22 I got about 3 years of sobriety under my belt and then had some run-ins with poppy tea, which usually lasted only a month or two before I would taper off. Generally speaking, I've been sober about 95% of the time for the past 10 years.
Last year I had a stomach bug and took some lopermide, which lead to a weird little lope habit whereby I was taking 30mgs of lope a day with white grapefruit juice and Tagamet (and having perfectly fine BM's). I decided that I should stop doing that so I started making my own opium (I won't go into details, but it was the real-deal).
Child protective services found out about my opium habit, but they can't tell the difference between that and heroin in a urine test so they accused me of using heroin and took my 5 year old boy away. I tried kicking the opium but it was the worst withdrawal I've ever had, and I've had some bad ones (once, my girlfriend shoved a naltrexone down my throat after she found out about an H habit I was hiding). Opium withdrawal is seriously insanely crazy bad. Anyway, I found an angel of a doctor who prescribed me subtext for “lower back pain” with the idea that he would slowly taper me off. This doctor doesn’t know much about the pharmacology of opiates, and started me at 16mgs. I had to be in acute withdrawal first so that the partial-agonist properties of the bupe wouldn’t precipitate withdrawals.
The subtext made me right again, but the the bottom line is that I do not want to be on opiates. They turn me into an asshole and an emotional basket-case where every little thing is a complete catastrophe. I have way more emotional fortitude in sobriety, which is kind of ironic; And I need my emotional strength to deal with this CPS case. It’s terrible.
So 8 days ago I jumped ship at 16mgs of subtext. The withdrawals have been hell, and the straw that broke the camel’s back was when I fainted and bashed my head in the bathroom. So I took 2mgs of Subtext. My “logic” was that the 2mg would be a “kicker dose,” which is something that is talked about with regard to bupe tapering, whereby you slowly get down to 0mg, stay there for a few days then take 2mgs and let the long half-life ease you down. As with most anecdotal treatment modalities, it’s a polarized issue where some swear by it and others say it just prolongs the agony.
I’m feeling really guilty and like I ruined all my progress. I was at day 8! Im really kicking myself for this. So I just wanted to ask the community here for advice. Should I taper from the 2mg? Should I see if the “kicker dose” works? I didn’t really do it right because I wasn’t tapering, I just cold-turkied for 8 days and by my math, given the supposed elimination half-life (37 hours), I would still have .5mg of bupe in my system. I dunno. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Kind Regards
