Psychonautico
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2019
- Messages
- 1
Hi everyone, I am writing this in the hopes of getting some tips and even just support for this predicament I blindly fell into. Let me give a little history. I am 24 now, I started using drugs around 16. I’ve tried just about everything excluding meth. I was addicted to Adderall for a few years and had my own script. I was able to kick that finally about 2 years ago, and around that same time I first tried Tramadol. Other opioids always seemed too expensive and didn’t get me very high even though the same doses got others high. For some reason, Tramadol really clicked. It wasn’t long before I was taking it daily, occasionally running out, going through 3-4 days of w/d’s, and then being mostly drug-free (besides weed & alc) getting more within a few weeks. Around this time I graduated and started my career in web development.
Eventually, I was at a point where I had ran out of Tramadol and I knew withdrawals were coming, so I looked online for ways to help make it less painful. Today I regret this discovery, but I stumbled upon some forums mentioning loperamide was an opioid that crosses the bbb only at high doses. I went to the store and bought 20 pills of loperamide, which cut the withdrawals in half. I went back the next day for a 48-pill bottle and downed the whole thing. Bam, I felt warm and fuzzy, even better than Tramadol. One of those every other day became a habit. Then 2 a day a few months later. Then 3 48-packs a day for a while. The last month and a half I tapered back down to 2 a day reducing 3 pills a day. I tried quitting cold-turkey over a vacation (terrible idea) where I had no access to loperamide. I had constant sweats, diarrhea, my joints felt like a 70-year-old’s, my nose was a waterfall, and I would constantly cycle between feeling overly hot to very cold. These maybe got slightly better 5 days in, but only slightly. On day 6 I started back up again, and here we are a few months later.
I got some Subutex today thinking “this is just a simple switch-over to something that won’t be as cardiotoxic and cruel to my GI tract as lope”. But I was wrong there too. I took 8 mg earlier tonight expecting to feel a nice buzz, but started to feel like I was further from my last dose of lope. I took another 4mg an hour after, and it got even worse. Low and behold there’s this thing called precipitated withdrawal! Research should have been conducted.
Anyways, I am wondering if there are any pointers, tips or words of encouragement anyone from the community could provide. I’m happy to answer questions about this roller coaster of an addiction that wasn’t supposed to be, too.
Eventually, I was at a point where I had ran out of Tramadol and I knew withdrawals were coming, so I looked online for ways to help make it less painful. Today I regret this discovery, but I stumbled upon some forums mentioning loperamide was an opioid that crosses the bbb only at high doses. I went to the store and bought 20 pills of loperamide, which cut the withdrawals in half. I went back the next day for a 48-pill bottle and downed the whole thing. Bam, I felt warm and fuzzy, even better than Tramadol. One of those every other day became a habit. Then 2 a day a few months later. Then 3 48-packs a day for a while. The last month and a half I tapered back down to 2 a day reducing 3 pills a day. I tried quitting cold-turkey over a vacation (terrible idea) where I had no access to loperamide. I had constant sweats, diarrhea, my joints felt like a 70-year-old’s, my nose was a waterfall, and I would constantly cycle between feeling overly hot to very cold. These maybe got slightly better 5 days in, but only slightly. On day 6 I started back up again, and here we are a few months later.
I got some Subutex today thinking “this is just a simple switch-over to something that won’t be as cardiotoxic and cruel to my GI tract as lope”. But I was wrong there too. I took 8 mg earlier tonight expecting to feel a nice buzz, but started to feel like I was further from my last dose of lope. I took another 4mg an hour after, and it got even worse. Low and behold there’s this thing called precipitated withdrawal! Research should have been conducted.
Anyways, I am wondering if there are any pointers, tips or words of encouragement anyone from the community could provide. I’m happy to answer questions about this roller coaster of an addiction that wasn’t supposed to be, too.