blown vein shooting MDMA

[rabbithole13]

hey so i did something really fucking dumb and no doctor is really giving me an answer to any of my questions. i injected MDMA by myself for the first time shooting anything. by myself. and it was so idiotic cause i had no idea how to shoot and ended up blowing a vein and infecting it. its been 12 wish days and I've already seemed medical attention and medication and my wrist is doing much better now. also, id like to add (because I'm not sure if this could be the cause to my dilemma as well) that i harshly abused molly for 2 months straight for 4 times every week. after finding out the news about my wrist at the clinic i made the dumb discussion ti roll again. i know it was stupid but i just wanted anything to help me feel normal when I'm not on it and whatever to take my mind off my wrist. the molly was almost black and in crystals. i lost my mind that night and need up wandering around at night in the rain crying, almost 100% convinced i was inevitably going to lose my arm soon. that wasn't the only thing that got me losing my mind, i was just never the same after and I've been rapped in a shell bubble of nick and worry and horrible anxiety whenever i think of drugs. every time i did molly after, my veins always change colours almost rainbow like all over my arms. now anytime i just smoke weed, its like I'm having a ptsd attack or something because it feels like I'm re experiencing that fear al over again from that night and i can feel my arms becoming numb and feel like my wrist is getting more swollen.
also i can't stop washing my hands or freaking out over the smallest things that have anything to do with my hand. I learnt a lot from that experience, i like to think for the good because i want to gain control back over my life and am trying to stop medicating with my history of hard drugs but at the same time. I'm terrified all the time and can't bait having this anxiety alway living inside me. its so bad it becomes physical i can feel it in my body ike literally. I'm just convinced that all that MDMA i tok is still in me and toxicating all my insides so i can't help but suddenly feel like I'm going to die randomly when I'm out with people sometimes or just by my self. i haven't been able to have one good night of sleep since its happened. the withdrawal has been the worst that i can't get my self to type it or describe it. so my question is, could this all be because if the trip or is there something seriously medically like physically wrong going inside my body? or have i really just fucking out my mind? i feel like a dead person walking. i can't be the same person i was ever again and my wrist will always be a reminder of that.

 

[g0to]

Everything will be fine.

You've already got medical opinion, you said. What exactly have they said? Can you see a psychiatrist? That blackish molly crystals, and your bad experience thsts caused all of this to happen, was that IV as well?

Be careful man, as you can see it becomes a totally different drug when taken too often, or IV'd (the fast track lane) it quickly becomes a self abuse thing.

No dude its not permanent or forever, trust me bro I've been there, you were worried about your arm but the fact is its your central nervous system, hormonal systems etc that is discombobulated Rn...

Give yourself rest, good healthy food/water... What did you like to do for relaxation and recreation before you started to party like this? After enough rest, go back to those hobbies (especially things like, building stuff, or exercise helped me alot). It's going to be hectic and perhaps you may have even fallen out with your old group that did non drug related hobbies but it will be okay.. Don't let the visuals you're getting get to your head, easier said than done right, but you gotta accept that you made the decision to put it into your body like this and now that you're getting these symptoms- ride it out bro! You've got this

 

[psychedelicham]

^ best advice you can get is to lay off the MDMA and get some sleep/nutrients. I decided IV mdma would be cool one time too.. until I found myself down 2 grams of X in a few days. After this experience I had to deal with some wicked depression and Fucked up thoughts. But it passed as all things do. So hang in there and maybe don't bang anymore mdma

 

[rabbithole13]

Thanks for the advice, my bad I couldn't find this thread it was my first time posting here. But I've been sober except for smoking pot a few times for a whole month now but I'm being prescribed an anti psychotic. I take as many vitamins as I should wirh take on the days I can remember to. I've been trying to do more things and go places and doing puzzles as well as reading about spiritual awakening which in a way I feel was the reaction I had towards all the anxiety and severe panic attacks from that weird trip/ day. Since then I've been trying to self heal and I'm going to rehab in a few weeks. I've been craving Xanax really badly and acid or Molly because I still have some left over for a month but do you think I'd have a bad reaction to either? Psychologically and mentally?