I like Keif's response.
I am also sorry to hear of your troubles/misfortunes. Have you considered discussing them with members of our community within any of the sub-forums within the recovery or community forums? I promise you'll find there are many great people with amazing, caring hearts, and extensive experience from which to speak, empathize/relate to, even exchange powerful and effective advice- hell, even just a listening ear. I can't recommend this place, these people, and bringing your troubles to the plate in this specific setting any higher. Give it a try sometime.
As for your inquiry, it seems you need a bit of R&R and you're determined to act, so I'll help you- but honestly, you don't even need the booze. Gabapentin and cannabis (GabaBliss..? CannaPentin? Lol) all you need. Hands down, I absolutely recommend you try a few Gabapentin (you should know your own dose, but if not, I'll be happy to assist you in determining this number), followed by cannabis a couple hours or so later. The two synergize like motherfucking Batman and Robin.
You allow the Gabapentin enough time to get into full swing (only you know how long it takes for you, personally, as an individual, to reach it......personal body/brain chemistry requires roughly 2 hours, but I'm kinda on the high end of the average person......your own biochemistry may only require 30 minutes to an hour, but only you know this), then toke up, and I swear by it, you do it right and it will knock you on your fucking ass. Yet, even despite this (surprisingly) incredibly powerful effect, it's actually relatively safe and minimally harmful!
I absolutely, without a doubt, swear by this specific, exact combo and method. If you're bent on escape, relief, or simply inebriation/intoxication, TRY IT. Lose yourself completely for a bit with this combo, but with this combo, you're still not really risking losing yourself forever (through routes of addiction or death, for example), as is the case with many psychoactive substances (yes, that includes your ethanol, most definitely- especially if you're combining it with other gabaergic substances.....not at all advised).
Let me know if I can be of any further assistance with this (or anything else- via either thread response or even IM if you so wish....my door's always open, and I am always more than happy to help), otherwise, happy tripping and stay safe!
(Just now thought with that last sentiment, that I should additionally VERY STRONGLY warn and advise you not to drive, operate any machinery or perform any other potentially dangerous tasks while under the influence of this combination......it WILL FUCK.YOU.UP. BEYOND RECOGNITION. So be smart, make good, safety conscious decisions, don't be a jackass, and don't get yourself injured or killed. Practice safety at all times.)
Best wishes,
Regards,
-PA