Bad Trip PTSD

[Justin1j2j3j4]

So about a month ago now I had a bad trip on shrooms where I took 4 grams of some strong shrooms and I experienced a car crash where my friends were covered in blood and glass. After that I felt like I was dying and the shrooms had poisoned me or the crash was killing me. I kept feeling like it was hard to breathe and became insanely thirsty.

My friends said that I kept trying to shove my hand down my throat but nothing was coming up and I kept spitting in their faces without noticing and I couldn't walk straight or see straight. Several times I zoned in and out and drifted away from consciousness. I must have fallen asleep or something cause all I remember in the beginning was the car crash then taking a Valium to cut it out and getting scared when it didn't then waking up to my friends yelling at me to sleep because it was really late. I thought that they had accepted my death and wanted me to "sleep" aka die. I couldn't sleep and then my friends walked me to one of their houses. I remember feeling like I was walking through hell and being laid on satans bed. The entire time I was super thirsty still.

Now weeks later I am super scared of dying and death. I am constantly worrying about each breath being my last and I can't seem to stop thinking about what will happen to me after or if my friends will die. I can't seem to forget the trip and my world feels totally different now.

My first question is why do you think I was so thirsty the entire time? I couldn't even feel myself drink water and I felt the most thirsty I have ever felt. My second question is how can I change how I feel now and stop having such a phobia of death?

 

[sekio]

Cortisol is a stress hormone that regulates fluid balance in the body, maybe that's what caused your intense thirst? Who knows though. The human body is weird at the best of times.

I think you just have to integrate the experience... being in a car crash while on shrooms would be pretty intense, that's for sure. You probably realized you needed to think clearly and wanted to get the hallucinogens out of your body and have everything go back to normal, hence the spitting and trying to force your hand down your throat... needless to say - mushrooms can cause people to act erratically. Especially at high doses and in stressful situations. It's probably best to not question why too much. Whatever has happened has happened. Satan didn't take your soul yet as evidenced by the fact that you're posting here.

You just need to count your blessings, I think. You survived that accident for a reason. It'll undoubtedly be burned into your mind for a long time, but don't let it totally destroy your life. Maybe it's a sign that you are stronger than you think and you have some higher purpose on this earth. Either way, you are certainly alive today and should celebrate it.

I think you're probably just really spooked. I would be, too. Life is really strange. Talking to people usually helps a lot with this sort of stuff. The best therapists are the ones who will let you talk and just listen, I think.

Every day something horrible could happen to you, or me, or any one of us. You could be eaten by a bear that breaks into your house looking for breakfast. A jet could crash and obliterate your whole apartment block. The sun could suddenly go supernova, too. However - life goes on. We keep fighting. This wonderful social safety net called humanity works for a reason.

Talk to some people, and I think you'll feel better.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

 

[Si Dread]

I'm very sorry you had to endure something as unpleasant as a car crash tripping. I've survived a number of life-threatening events tripping, & in fact, just a few weekends ago I had an allergic asthmatic reaction to animal hair, whilst tripping, & had to call a paramedic. If he had not turned up within minutes, I may not have made it.

I felt great the week following, & even lost a job comprising half my income, & I don't really give a shit because it's just money, breathing the air & seeing the sky are far, far, far more valuable than money. So you see how I turn a negative, terrifying & downright life-threatening experience into a positive one? Hell, I ain't even seeking to replace the work until after summer because I want to enjoy the sunny days in poverty, just in case these are my last.

I've suffered some interesting shit sober too. As a kid growing up in Africa I was abused physically (not sexually thank fuck) for many years by a headmaster at my school. In my teens I was shot at & witnessed two terrorist bombings one that was truly awful, producing multiple fatalities & the kind & number of injured I'd really prefer not to have to describe, & Ive had close calls with my asthma all my life, nearly dying many times.

Although I have self-medicated against PTSD using weed, MDMA & psychedelcs all my life, I still suffer the occassional bout but try to just take it in my stride now. I've been through a few addictions in my time too. I cant honestly pin these down to past life crises but can only advise that fighting PTSD through recreational drugs like alcohol is highly discouraged & although temporary relief might be apparent use of drink is likely only to excacerbate the problems. I've been a light but daily user of cannabis all my adult life & have had no problems physically or emotionally with the drug, only financially but I discourage in the strongest terms the use of alcohol & anti-depressants of ANY kind AT ALL & anti-anxierty drugs like Xanax for any serious length of time, & even cannabis, because even it's use can become problematic. You will be stronger, sooner, for longer if you fight the symptoms using the least amount of medication &/or other drugs & use mainly will-power & support systems such as work-life, friends & family. Practising thoughtfullness, meditation, deep breathing & excercising regularly will also help, as will a ballanced diet free of caffiene, alcohol, excessive sugar or fatty foods. Eat plenty fruit, veg, plenty water etc etc

After everything I've been through in my life, despite all the horror, the pain, the fear & the loss, I've learnt that if despite everything you can still smile at a stranger in the street & at yourself in the mirror, that smile be the reward you deserve for everything you've been through & all that's yet to come.

Even if you never post on BL again, you are not now, nor are you ever alone. Chin up buddy, you ain't gonna die just yet, & although the end of this life is obviously inevitable, your time on this planet is for living, not for worrying about the end of it. The end of your life on earth is, besides, the beginning of an adventure far beyond this mortal coil.

Do take care, be cool, smile!
Blessing from Si Ingwe

 

[Justin1j2j3j4]

Thank you for being so caring guys
I did not actually suffer through a car crash while high but I imagined I did. So I didn't actually experience it for real just in my mind cause I was tripping .
Everyone keeps saying that we could die any moment and have to just enjoy but the thing is I'm constantly scared that we could die any minute due to anything and that's my big issue
I do think though that my paranoia and stress has gone down with time though.
I feel like I can never go back to how I was before and back to my feeling of not thinking about death.
I think I'm mostly worried about what will Ha

 

[donvliet]

Psychedelics can confront us with harsh realities that we don't like to think about, which can be very uncomfortable. It is also why they can be beneficial if done right. One of the frequent teachings is facing your own mortality. Everyone will die and you already knew that, but now you have vividly imagined it happening to yourself. This can be a shock and leave quite an impression as you have noticed.

The challenge for you is to turn this into something valuable. If you can live your life realizing it is finite, you can learn to appreciate it more. It can also help you to better understand the behavior of yourself and the people around you. And you might even learn to see that life could be that much more meaningful because it is finite.

Powerful psychedelics like shrooms can profoundly impact you. This is difficult to appreciate before you have experienced it first hand. Wether the impact is positive or negative depends on a lot of factors, which you can largely influence. Educating yourself beforehand and treating them with respect are good starting points.

I would suggest to stay away from drugs for a few months at the very least. Take your time, it will get better.

 

[Doldrugs]

I feel for you, man. You could set aside some time each day to meditate, it might speed up your recovery. I would try to just let those thoughts and feelings come, examine then as though they were specimens on a slide, and keep reminding yourself they can't control your life. They're just thoughts and you can choose to let them come and go. I agree you should stay away from drugs for awhile.

I think you will be fine.

 

[Si Dread]

Everyone keeps saying that we could die any moment and have to just enjoy but the thing is I'm constantly scared that we could die any minute due to anything and that's my big issue
I do think though that my paranoia and stress has gone down with time though.
I feel like I can never go back to how I was before and back to my feeling of not thinking about death.
I think I'm mostly worried about what will Ha

Death is something you cannot avoid, it comes to us all. Why waste your life worrying about something that you cannot change. A person will mourn & miss a loved one who has died, but the dead themselves have generaly moved to a new plane of existance. They do not cease to exist, & neither will you. Your mum might differ, but did you feel any pain at birth? No, & if you did you would not rememeber it. Even if you are unlikely enough to suffer an painful death, you won't remember it in the space between lives.

I used to feel alot like you, growing up in war zones, nuclear war paranoias, terrorist campaigns both in Africa & in London made me see my own death around evey corner. But since then I've realised that it doesn't really matter. We live & we die, it's the time we spend between life & death that is valuable, why waste this time worrying about the inevitibilty of death itself. Face, respect & embrace death, for without death, there would be no life.

 

[Justin1j2j3j4]

Thank you guys
Has anyone else had a huge impact towards death on shrooms like this?