Bad trip experience

[psychefluctuation]

Bear with any mistakes or rules I may break while posting this. I'm new so please let me know. Anyway, a couple of months ago I took acid while in what some might consider a bad state (I know it's dumb but I was trying to get over my depression.) While I was tripping on somewhere around 300-400mics I found my way into my mom's bedroom. She was sleeping and I decided to strike up a conversation with her. She could tell I was tripping and was rightfully annoyed by me keeping her up at around 2a.m. Eventually I became more and more introspective and asked her if I made her sad and she said yes without hesitation. I waited for I don't know how long thinking about that then asked "Do I make other people sad too?" And she said yes in the most angry and spiteful way possible. Since this experience I haven't been able to carry myself with any sort of confidence, despite overcoming my conscious insecurities because I assume some part of me still thinks I just make everyone sad and no one takes me seriously. My eyes water if I feel even the slightest bit of anxiety and I can't control a lot of physical symptoms since this. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar to this and how they got over it.

 

[thelung]

i made the mistake of tripping at home with my mom there once. it was really weird. definitely NOT the best set or setting for a good trip.. try a different setting when you are in a better state of mind. Like with some good friends somewhere outdoors ? psychedelics and parents really dont mix well

 

[psy997]

Realize why you may make her and others around you sad and then begin to act in a way that does not make those people sad.

You've had a realization and now must act on it lest it follow you for your entire life.

 

[psychefluctuation]

Realize why you may make her and others around you sad and then begin to act in a way that does not make those people sad.

You've had a realization and now must act on it lest it follow you for your entire life.

I appreciate that bit of advice, but I don't think I quite expressed the validity of her statement. I understand she said I make her sad because of my use of psychedelics, which she doesn't agree with being a typical Christian type, but her assumption that I make other people sad was said more so out of spite. She's got a nasty temper and I was keeping her from sleep. I know I don't make other people sad, but I feel like you're in an extremely fragile and impressionable state while tripping. I heard these words and absorbed them into some part of my consciousness and cannot get escape the feeling that some part of me still believes it and thus my anxiety is harder to control around strangers and people I don't know well.

 

[psy997]

Ah. In that case it seems true realization of the meaning of the interaction will bring you peace. As it is, a part of yourself is considering her statements to be true and thus giving those negative thoughts energy. You must, in whichever way necessary, come to terms with the true nature of the interaction with your mother and in doing so disarm the part of you that would hold her statements to be true.

 

[idrinkmentos]

Bear with any mistakes or rules I may break while posting this. I'm new so please let me know. Anyway, a couple of months ago I took acid while in what some might consider a bad state (I know it's dumb but I was trying to get over my depression.) While I was tripping on somewhere around 300-400mics I found my way into my mom's bedroom. She was sleeping and I decided to strike up a conversation with her. She could tell I was tripping and was rightfully annoyed by me keeping her up at around 2a.m. Eventually I became more and more introspective and asked her if I made her sad and she said yes without hesitation. I waited for I don't know how long thinking about that then asked "Do I make other people sad too?" And she said yes in the most angry and spiteful way possible. Since this experience I haven't been able to carry myself with any sort of confidence, despite overcoming my conscious insecurities because I assume some part of me still thinks I just make everyone sad and no one takes me seriously. My eyes water if I feel even the slightest bit of anxiety and I can't control a lot of physical symptoms since this. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar to this and how they got over it.

If I were you, I wouldn't take it so seriously. She was probably just annoyed at being woken up.

 

[thelung]

If I were you, I wouldn't take it so seriously. She was probably just annoyed at being woken up.

my thoughts exactly. don't read too much into the situation. i know we tend to do that when we're on psychedelics but try not to in this situation

 

[psy997]

The issue with not taking it seriously, and thus letting it go completely right now, is that whether or not your mom meant it, it has still affected you and entered your mind. Unless you deal with it that seed of self-doubt will grow with time.