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AUS - Saving Daniel: a couple's desperate bid to keep their only child alive
http://www.smh.com.au/national/savi...ep-their-only-child-alive-20120518-1yw16.html
JUDY SMITH knew nothing about heroin until it had her only child, Daniel, in its grip.
She and her husband, Ray, had raised their son in a stable home and sent him to a leading Catholic boys' school, Waverley College, in Sydney's eastern suburbs.
They supported him when he chose to switch to Bradfield College for his two senior years and watched with pride as he blossomed through artistic pursuits.
They were not blind to his bouts of low self-esteem and anxiety but believed he was building the foundations for a happy, successful life. Attaining a bachelor of fine arts from the University of NSW was more proof of that.
What they did not know was that their 22-year-old son had been using heroin for three years, often in their Oatley home. Mrs Smith discovered his secret when she took a pile of clothes to his bedroom and found a backpack on his bed.
''His behaviour had become strange. I think deep down I probably knew what was going on but I was in denial,'' she said. ''You don't want to accept this beautiful child, for whom you've done all the right things, is doing this sort of thing.''
In the backpack she found two brown paper bags, which contained cotton wool and swabs, and a small black plastic box filled with needles and other injecting equipment. ''All I could think is 'Oh God, oh God'. My heart started racing. That was the beginning of it.''
In those first terrible hours and days, the Smiths tried reprimand and reason. ''We were a middle-class family,'' she said. ''This couldn't be happening to us.''
But they quickly realised - with the help of Family Drug Support - that it was ''naive'' to think they could cure their son immediately. They did not condone his drug use but understood that their first responsibility was to keep him safe. They put their faith in harm minimisation.
''I said: 'If you do not have clean needles, you let me know and we will get you clean needles','' Mrs Smith said. ''So we found ourselves driving around with boxes of needles in the car.''
Like many addicts, Daniel would buy an amount of drugs to last him for some time but use it quickly. ''My grief counsellor said to me: 'Would you consider holding his drugs for him?' I said to her: 'I would do anything, anything'. I did a spreadsheet to try and keep track of his drugs.
''He had all the paraphernalia and he would disappear into the bathroom after I had given him a bag. I would say: 'You have four minutes. If you haven't called out that you are fine, I'm coming in'.
''It was surreal. I used to think I can't believe I am doing this. How could I tell anybody that we are doing this?''
For six years, Mr and Mrs Smith watched their son fight his habit. He was not a ''junkie'', Mrs Smith said - ''how I hate that word'' - but a gentle young man with an addiction. He held responsible jobs, including at a pharmaceutical company and the ABC, and was a valued employee. When her husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma in 2010, she ''could not have asked for a better, more supportive son''.
Daniel Smith died on January 22 this year - alone in a car, outside the home of a drug dealer at Blackheath. He was 28.
''Daniel's big problem was that he would always use alone,'' his mother said this week from the family's Katoomba home. ''His close friends weren't users. On the morning he died, I feel that if he had had somewhere to go - like a safe room in a hospital or an injecting centre - there would have been help for him.
''He battled so hard, he was so brave - and he was coming good. He just needed more time.''
Mrs Smith plans to continue her advocacy with Family Drug Support, set up in 1997 by Tony Trimingham after his son, Damien, died of a heroin overdose.
''The war on drugs is not working,'' she said. ''When are they going to understand that. The drugs are still getting through. Daniel was always able to find heroin. It is out there.
''Drug use is across the board. There are families like ours out there who are in crisis. I want to tell people: 'Your son or daughter or partner is not going to have a chance unless you walk beside them'. If you dig deep, you can do it.''
She and her husband, Ray, had raised their son in a stable home and sent him to a leading Catholic boys' school, Waverley College, in Sydney's eastern suburbs.
They supported him when he chose to switch to Bradfield College for his two senior years and watched with pride as he blossomed through artistic pursuits.
They were not blind to his bouts of low self-esteem and anxiety but believed he was building the foundations for a happy, successful life. Attaining a bachelor of fine arts from the University of NSW was more proof of that.
What they did not know was that their 22-year-old son had been using heroin for three years, often in their Oatley home. Mrs Smith discovered his secret when she took a pile of clothes to his bedroom and found a backpack on his bed.
''His behaviour had become strange. I think deep down I probably knew what was going on but I was in denial,'' she said. ''You don't want to accept this beautiful child, for whom you've done all the right things, is doing this sort of thing.''
In the backpack she found two brown paper bags, which contained cotton wool and swabs, and a small black plastic box filled with needles and other injecting equipment. ''All I could think is 'Oh God, oh God'. My heart started racing. That was the beginning of it.''
In those first terrible hours and days, the Smiths tried reprimand and reason. ''We were a middle-class family,'' she said. ''This couldn't be happening to us.''
But they quickly realised - with the help of Family Drug Support - that it was ''naive'' to think they could cure their son immediately. They did not condone his drug use but understood that their first responsibility was to keep him safe. They put their faith in harm minimisation.
''I said: 'If you do not have clean needles, you let me know and we will get you clean needles','' Mrs Smith said. ''So we found ourselves driving around with boxes of needles in the car.''
Like many addicts, Daniel would buy an amount of drugs to last him for some time but use it quickly. ''My grief counsellor said to me: 'Would you consider holding his drugs for him?' I said to her: 'I would do anything, anything'. I did a spreadsheet to try and keep track of his drugs.
''He had all the paraphernalia and he would disappear into the bathroom after I had given him a bag. I would say: 'You have four minutes. If you haven't called out that you are fine, I'm coming in'.
''It was surreal. I used to think I can't believe I am doing this. How could I tell anybody that we are doing this?''
For six years, Mr and Mrs Smith watched their son fight his habit. He was not a ''junkie'', Mrs Smith said - ''how I hate that word'' - but a gentle young man with an addiction. He held responsible jobs, including at a pharmaceutical company and the ABC, and was a valued employee. When her husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma in 2010, she ''could not have asked for a better, more supportive son''.
Daniel Smith died on January 22 this year - alone in a car, outside the home of a drug dealer at Blackheath. He was 28.
''Daniel's big problem was that he would always use alone,'' his mother said this week from the family's Katoomba home. ''His close friends weren't users. On the morning he died, I feel that if he had had somewhere to go - like a safe room in a hospital or an injecting centre - there would have been help for him.
''He battled so hard, he was so brave - and he was coming good. He just needed more time.''
Mrs Smith plans to continue her advocacy with Family Drug Support, set up in 1997 by Tony Trimingham after his son, Damien, died of a heroin overdose.
''The war on drugs is not working,'' she said. ''When are they going to understand that. The drugs are still getting through. Daniel was always able to find heroin. It is out there.
''Drug use is across the board. There are families like ours out there who are in crisis. I want to tell people: 'Your son or daughter or partner is not going to have a chance unless you walk beside them'. If you dig deep, you can do it.''
http://www.smh.com.au/national/savi...ep-their-only-child-alive-20120518-1yw16.html
