Anxiety getting in the way of healthy relationships

[Lady Bun-Bun]

Hey, so I was curious on other people's experiences, either their own, or having a relationship with, someone with anxiety.
What did you do to overcome and communicate about your problems?

I am in a relationship with someone who has anxiety and gets really rude and arrogantly blaming of others in anxiety situations and just not sure what to do about it, I have tried communicating, but they are not good at that.
I have never dated someone with anxiety like this before and I am struggling to understand because even when I get anxiety, I do my best to not take it out on others, so any advice or personal experience is appreciated.

 

[sms143]

Well...if you are curious to be in the other person's shoes..I will let you know that I have anxiety issues myself and I take it out on my husband as well...when I start getting into my moods I will close off and he gets concerned and tries to make me happy and help and I really do bite his head off and get really bitchy and I am not proud of it, and it does hurt our relationship, and mean things are def said...

I am trying to overcome this problem by just saying what is bothering me when it happens and not letting it build up to were I have so much anxiety that I blow up on my husband.

It's hard to give advice to you about it when you have already said that your SO is bad at communication. How long have you been together? I notice when my spouse is approaching me in a caring manner to put the fire out but I still somehow bitch him out. Ughh...workin on it I swear.

 

[MilzyWilzy]

I suffer with anxiety and psychosis. I take it out on my partner all of the time and he gets very frustrated.

It's very nearly ended our relationship on many occasions.

It's a very difficult situation to overcome, I would suggest relationship counselling and maybe bring up that she needs councelling also for her to be able to control her anxiety better.

Is she on meds for it?

 

[llama112]

I have anxiety. My partner is okay with my anxiety attacks. I mean obviously he accepts them but he does okay handling them.

I do not take them out ON other people. I generally blame myself for things. But sometimes I will blame others but just vent to my partner.

Be gentle, that's my advice. One of the things I hate my partner saying is "just calm down" or "that's not logical". I know I need to calm down and I know it's not logical, but that's not helping the anxiety.
I'm sure you've done a bit of reading on anxiety but read various people's experiences with anxiety because everyone deals with it differently.

If your partner is on meds, that could be why he/she is blaming people as some meds can make you do that. But, again, it depends on the person, and on the meds!

 

[Lady Bun-Bun]

Is she on meds for it?

No, neither of us are on medication.

How long have you been together?

Just over 15 months we have been together now, but we have been good friends for almost 9 years or something.

I get anxiety and panic attacks too, but I always do my best to not take it out on others by being aware of my emotional state. I guess it took me a while to learn that, but that was so long ago, I can't really remember what it was like and I guess I forget to be accepting of people who don't do that.

I do not take them out ON other people. I generally blame myself for things. But sometimes I will blame others but just vent to my partner.

Be gentle, that's my advice. One of the things I hate my partner saying is "just calm down" or "that's not logical". I know I need to calm down and I know it's not logical, but that's not helping the anxiety.
I'm sure you've done a bit of reading on anxiety but read various people's experiences with anxiety because everyone deals with it differently.

Yeah, it would be really helpful if they could not take it out on me, especially since, when they do get into a blaming situation, it gets really triggering for me and I really struggle with it.
I find I have to be strong and really stand up for myself when they get into these moods because otherwise I am not heard or understood. I have tried being gentle and it used to work, but not so much these days.
I have recently stopped taking my medication because it was not helping me properly heal and move on from what I was dealing with and causing me greater amounts of anxiety. So neither of us are on medication for the moment.

Thank you everyone for your answers, just trying to figure out how to deal with it so it doesn't get all too much.