Angry management

[crazyhairman]

Simple play on words. I noticed even though I am seven years clean, stable and comfortable financially, I still loose my temper. I see it often with random strangers in the street, grocery store, online basically everywhere. By trade I am a manager in a big company based in Texas. Part of my job is keeping everyone productive and motivated, pretty normal stuff.

Honestly I really dislike people and they're various attitudes, complexities in how you have to adress people. I avoid conflict as much as I can but honestly sometimes internally I am about to rip someone's head off.

Today was something, I'm not at work , I'm at my cabin in Oklahoma. Got a buddy helping me fix this place up a bit. Anyway dude was trying to switch out the refrigerator doors, so they open from the right instead of left. Honestly a useless form over function measure.

Right out of the gate, I'm asking him if he read the directions, has all the tools , knows the process.
He assured me it's easy no problem for him.

2 hours go by, I offered some assistance, he became very irate and cussing and throwing things. I just walked away. I have a big thing with respect.

The thing is, I walked away this time , but what flashed in my mind was me strangling him to death while screaming at him to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I know this kind of internal anger can't be healthy or productive but it just comes from no where. I've gotten the same feelings at work, on vacations, just hanging out with friends. I feel like it's a matter of time and I can't be the only person walking around like this.

 

[cdin]

Simple play on words. I noticed even though I am seven years clean, stable and comfortable financially, I still loose my temper. I see it often with random strangers in the street, grocery store, online basically everywhere. By trade I am a manager in a big company based in Texas. Part of my job is keeping everyone productive and motivated, pretty normal stuff.

Honestly I really dislike people and they're various attitudes, complexities in how you have to adress people. I avoid conflict as much as I can but honestly sometimes internally I am about to rip someone's head off.

Today was something, I'm not at work , I'm at my cabin in Oklahoma. Got a buddy helping me fix this place up a bit. Anyway dude was trying to switch out the refrigerator doors, so they open from the right instead of left. Honestly a useless form over function measure.

Right out of the gate, I'm asking him if he read the directions, has all the tools , knows the process.
He assured me it's easy no problem for him.

2 hours go by, I offered some assistance, he became very irate and cussing and throwing things. I just walked away. I have a big thing with respect.

The thing is, I walked away this time , but what flashed in my mind was me strangling him to death while screaming at him to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I know this kind of internal anger can't be healthy or productive but it just comes from no where. I've gotten the same feelings at work, on vacations, just hanging out with friends. I feel like it's a matter of time and I can't be the only person walking around like this.

I have found meditation and martial arts to be extremely helpful for myself long term for these issues. Also - therapy. A good therapist goes a long way with these issues.

 

[SunriseChampion]

Nothing's helped me to calm the fuck down more than breathing exercises, meditation, and yoga. In that order of efficacy. Which is handy cause you can't just start busting poses whilst driving but you can always throw in some calming breathwork.

Works like magic.

 

[crazyhairman]

Yea I just try to exercise/ sleep regularly. I guess almost exploding a few times a year is alright. As long as it's not often

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

I have dealt with this type of issue for as long as I can remember.
Turns out it was rooted in past traumas in formative stages and decades of trauma thereafter.
Hit an insurmountable wall a few months back and drug my sorry ass to see a therapist as I felt at the end of my rope and just couldn't drop life as there were those who depended on me for their quality of life and commitment is a thing for me.
I happened to land in the hands of a very capable therapist and really put everything I had left into getting this sorted. I did my homework, put in the work and actively participated in my recovery.
Long story short I have my life back, am more tolerant and the anger issues have mostly evaporated (along with some other self destructive behaviors).
Maybe therapy isn't for everyone (I thought it a bunch of bullshit for decades) but maybe give it a go and see if it helps...?
Best wishes with this and hoping the best for you and yours, fam.
Peace