Sex: Male
Age: 17
Height: 182cm/ 6'
Weight: 140lb
Previous drugs taken: MXE, ketamin, 6-apb, MDAI, MDMA, speed, cannabis
SWIM had taken aMT before, but on all other occasions had taken it with at least another RC, typically 6-apb however last night SWIM decided to take aMT on it's own and the experience was very different and unexpected. SWIM did not use his mg scales and so the dosage may have been more or less that 100mg- obviously do not take follow this as an example as aMT might be less or more volatile to a different person, as there are hundreds of variables to every experience with any drug.
aMT was purchased off of a respectable vendor that SWIM had used many times before, it arrived as an orange powder that looked like smashed up brick that was dense and clumpy and had a smell like new shoes which was quite over powering.
8.30pm t+0 100mg insuffulated. Instantly there was a severe burning sensation, which didn't really fade away for at least half an hour.
8.40pm t+10 SWIM lies down on couch and watches a film.
9.30pm t+60 SWIM stands up for the first time after dosing to go to the WC, legs felt unstable but the slight disorientation at this point was very amusing to SWIM, looking in the mirror SWIM notices that his pupils have dilated massively.
9.35pm t+65 urge to talk to people, but in the house alone so SWIM sent out a plethora of texts, phone screen was very bright and his fingers fumbled over the keys, miss-spelling numerous simple words.
10.30pm t+120 SWIM realises how intoxicated he is, finding it amusing that he hadn't really noticed for so long that he wasn't acting normally. SWIM has need to go to the WC at every ad break, stumbling rather than walking with pupils covering most of his iris.
11.00pm t+150 SWIM decides to watch more films, but isn't actually taking into account the narrative and the TV screen is too bright to look at for extended periods of time. SWIM feels very cold and gets a blanket, as soon as SWIM returns to the couch with the blanket he is far too hot and throws the blanket beside him.
11.10 t+160 very restless and tired at the same time, feel as if eyes are being held open, intro sequence of 'Saving Private Ryan' is very distressing- normally violence doesn't affect me- and yet SWIM cannot help but stare.
11.20 t+170 SWIM decides he should go to bed, as he has work the following morning, SWIM had extreme lethargy in his arms and legs and light sources were exceptionally bright.
11.30 t+180 SWIM forgets about bed completely and returns to watch 'Saving Private Ryan'
11.35 t+185 SWIM remembered he had work and decided to go to sleep- at this point SWIM was very tired and heavy- SWIM lost sense of co-ordination with arms and legs and felt as if they were moving on their own accord, SWIM felt anxious, but thought as soon as he went to bed the lethargy would help him get to sleep.
12.00am t+200 very restless, SWIM felt incredibly cold and decided he couldn't sleep because he was so cold- he got out of bed and went to get a blanket but got distracted by a piece of paper and started writing- SWIM remembers feelings incredibly paranoid at this point as if something were in the room with him but he didn't want to make sure. Mild hallucinations of white speckles make writing very distracting. The pen kept running out of ink and this angered SWIM.
12.30am t+230 SWIM realised that he had gotten out of bed to get a blanket because he was cold, and yet he had been sitting naked for half an hour and was sweating. This disturbed SWIM very much, he felt as if he had lost control over himself and that everything had been meticulously planned out for him by a more powerful force- felt very fatalistic.
12.45am t+245 SWIM is still writing, hallucinations worsen with moths, flys and beetles flying and crawling around SWIMs room. Again SWIM felt as if there was a menacing presence near to him, but instead of getting back into bed continued to write.
1.00am t+260 SWIM returns to bed with the blanket, but is too hot for it. Rolling around bed restlessly. In his mind SWIM plays the part of numerous actors and characters, he finds this very irritating as he is trying to sleep and essentially argues with himself- SWIM realises what he is doing and feels stupid and once again out of control. Usually SWIM is content with trips that are out of his control, but this felt far darker than most of his previous experiences, the thought of everything being laid out for him as if previously planned severely disturbed SWIM, making him feel insignificant. SWIM thought that if he killed himself it wouldn't matter. SWIMs arguments in his head worsen, vivid hallucinations develop and SWIM realises that he hasn't had any sleep but instead had been slipping in and out of roles of characters.
1.00am - 2.00am t+260/320 SWIM has the urge to urinated every couple of minutes, the darkness outside of his room scares him. Hallucinations of bugs all around SWIM but he cannot be bothered to be scared of them, because he knows that they aren't real. SWIM wonders if this drug has caused him to become schizophrenic as he recalls that for the past hour he has been arguing with himself, pretending to be fiction people.
2.00am - 3.00am t+380 SWIM feels very sick, unable to lie on his back and constantly needing to go to the toilet to urinate. Feeling of lethargy remains in the legs and arms feel numb. SWIM wonders if he had taken something different to aMT because he had never had such an unpleasant experience.
3.30am t+410 SWIM tries to throw up, realises he can't and his feelings of stupidity worsen, SWIM feels as if his life is meaningless because everything is determined by something. SWIM snaps out of this mind set and starts criticizing self for being a melodramatic teenager. SWIM then thinks that fate merely wants him to feel like a melodramatic teenager so as to further show how he doesn't control himself or his emotions.
3.45?am t+425 SWIM felt as if the fabric of his being was tangible with space and time, as if he could break himself apart and become the universe- extremely euphoric feelings but at the same time the thought of becoming something unfamiliar made SWIM snap out of his thoughts for it was merely keeping him awake. SWIM regretted taking this the night before work, feeling incredibly sick, gaseous and constantly needing to urinate. Eyes rolled back every now and again without SWIMs own accord.
SWIM didn't sleep until 4.38am but upon waking up at 8.30am felt refreshed but on review of the nights experience still felt disturbed as to why he acted like he did. Work was surprisingly easy and SWIM was exceptionally cheery with customers. SWIM still has not eaten 21 hours after dosing but has had two coffees. SWIM feels sick.
What confused SWIM the most was how this experience was so different from the times he had taken aMT with 6-APB or MXE, but SWIM knows that there are hundreds of variables to every experience, what had occured to SWIM was that he possibly overdosed because never before had he had a bad trip, similarly he had never done such a big line, he did not use scales and so the line he insuffulated could of been more than 100mg - next time SWIM will be more cautious, even if it is a drug he is experienced with.
For anyone interested the notes SWIM wrote at approximately 1.00am:
1. "my mind feels outright disturbed - enough to write this shitty note and smile about it | I get up so as to be uncomfortable, having had comfort before my wake only then do I know real thirst for comfort | FEEL ZANY AS FUCK"
2. "bad idea to taking before work kiddo"
3. "you're totally wired ahahahahaha"
4. "idk why i took it for (illegible two words) for fan/fun"
5. "I try and recollect and write but it fucking teases me gnawing away at me it is the reason i write and why my pen must have no ink i feel like fate is throwing me around like Orca with prey and yet I have know this for months, or perhaps weeks, I am truly insignifficant"
6. "but oh | how naive | and pompous | thou shalt look before the rowing team | how naive | how pompous" (this note made SWIM laugh heartedly in the morning, for he was not part of the rowing team and really didn't understand as to why he had written it down, especially written it down in poem form)
7. "I CANNOT EXPRESS MYSELF BECAUSE THE PEN CONTROLS WHEN IT WORKS AND NOT ME WHICH IS FUCKING STUPID"
8. "ahahaha joker lol jk GO TO SLEEP YOU FUCKING LOON"
whilst writing swim kept losing his train of thought, his writing was hard to read and he vividly remembers having arguments over what he should write on the note, he was completely alone.
Age: 17
Height: 182cm/ 6'
Weight: 140lb
Previous drugs taken: MXE, ketamin, 6-apb, MDAI, MDMA, speed, cannabis
SWIM had taken aMT before, but on all other occasions had taken it with at least another RC, typically 6-apb however last night SWIM decided to take aMT on it's own and the experience was very different and unexpected. SWIM did not use his mg scales and so the dosage may have been more or less that 100mg- obviously do not take follow this as an example as aMT might be less or more volatile to a different person, as there are hundreds of variables to every experience with any drug.
aMT was purchased off of a respectable vendor that SWIM had used many times before, it arrived as an orange powder that looked like smashed up brick that was dense and clumpy and had a smell like new shoes which was quite over powering.
8.30pm t+0 100mg insuffulated. Instantly there was a severe burning sensation, which didn't really fade away for at least half an hour.
8.40pm t+10 SWIM lies down on couch and watches a film.
9.30pm t+60 SWIM stands up for the first time after dosing to go to the WC, legs felt unstable but the slight disorientation at this point was very amusing to SWIM, looking in the mirror SWIM notices that his pupils have dilated massively.
9.35pm t+65 urge to talk to people, but in the house alone so SWIM sent out a plethora of texts, phone screen was very bright and his fingers fumbled over the keys, miss-spelling numerous simple words.
10.30pm t+120 SWIM realises how intoxicated he is, finding it amusing that he hadn't really noticed for so long that he wasn't acting normally. SWIM has need to go to the WC at every ad break, stumbling rather than walking with pupils covering most of his iris.
11.00pm t+150 SWIM decides to watch more films, but isn't actually taking into account the narrative and the TV screen is too bright to look at for extended periods of time. SWIM feels very cold and gets a blanket, as soon as SWIM returns to the couch with the blanket he is far too hot and throws the blanket beside him.
11.10 t+160 very restless and tired at the same time, feel as if eyes are being held open, intro sequence of 'Saving Private Ryan' is very distressing- normally violence doesn't affect me- and yet SWIM cannot help but stare.
11.20 t+170 SWIM decides he should go to bed, as he has work the following morning, SWIM had extreme lethargy in his arms and legs and light sources were exceptionally bright.
11.30 t+180 SWIM forgets about bed completely and returns to watch 'Saving Private Ryan'
11.35 t+185 SWIM remembered he had work and decided to go to sleep- at this point SWIM was very tired and heavy- SWIM lost sense of co-ordination with arms and legs and felt as if they were moving on their own accord, SWIM felt anxious, but thought as soon as he went to bed the lethargy would help him get to sleep.
12.00am t+200 very restless, SWIM felt incredibly cold and decided he couldn't sleep because he was so cold- he got out of bed and went to get a blanket but got distracted by a piece of paper and started writing- SWIM remembers feelings incredibly paranoid at this point as if something were in the room with him but he didn't want to make sure. Mild hallucinations of white speckles make writing very distracting. The pen kept running out of ink and this angered SWIM.
12.30am t+230 SWIM realised that he had gotten out of bed to get a blanket because he was cold, and yet he had been sitting naked for half an hour and was sweating. This disturbed SWIM very much, he felt as if he had lost control over himself and that everything had been meticulously planned out for him by a more powerful force- felt very fatalistic.
12.45am t+245 SWIM is still writing, hallucinations worsen with moths, flys and beetles flying and crawling around SWIMs room. Again SWIM felt as if there was a menacing presence near to him, but instead of getting back into bed continued to write.
1.00am t+260 SWIM returns to bed with the blanket, but is too hot for it. Rolling around bed restlessly. In his mind SWIM plays the part of numerous actors and characters, he finds this very irritating as he is trying to sleep and essentially argues with himself- SWIM realises what he is doing and feels stupid and once again out of control. Usually SWIM is content with trips that are out of his control, but this felt far darker than most of his previous experiences, the thought of everything being laid out for him as if previously planned severely disturbed SWIM, making him feel insignificant. SWIM thought that if he killed himself it wouldn't matter. SWIMs arguments in his head worsen, vivid hallucinations develop and SWIM realises that he hasn't had any sleep but instead had been slipping in and out of roles of characters.
1.00am - 2.00am t+260/320 SWIM has the urge to urinated every couple of minutes, the darkness outside of his room scares him. Hallucinations of bugs all around SWIM but he cannot be bothered to be scared of them, because he knows that they aren't real. SWIM wonders if this drug has caused him to become schizophrenic as he recalls that for the past hour he has been arguing with himself, pretending to be fiction people.
2.00am - 3.00am t+380 SWIM feels very sick, unable to lie on his back and constantly needing to go to the toilet to urinate. Feeling of lethargy remains in the legs and arms feel numb. SWIM wonders if he had taken something different to aMT because he had never had such an unpleasant experience.
3.30am t+410 SWIM tries to throw up, realises he can't and his feelings of stupidity worsen, SWIM feels as if his life is meaningless because everything is determined by something. SWIM snaps out of this mind set and starts criticizing self for being a melodramatic teenager. SWIM then thinks that fate merely wants him to feel like a melodramatic teenager so as to further show how he doesn't control himself or his emotions.
3.45?am t+425 SWIM felt as if the fabric of his being was tangible with space and time, as if he could break himself apart and become the universe- extremely euphoric feelings but at the same time the thought of becoming something unfamiliar made SWIM snap out of his thoughts for it was merely keeping him awake. SWIM regretted taking this the night before work, feeling incredibly sick, gaseous and constantly needing to urinate. Eyes rolled back every now and again without SWIMs own accord.
SWIM didn't sleep until 4.38am but upon waking up at 8.30am felt refreshed but on review of the nights experience still felt disturbed as to why he acted like he did. Work was surprisingly easy and SWIM was exceptionally cheery with customers. SWIM still has not eaten 21 hours after dosing but has had two coffees. SWIM feels sick.
What confused SWIM the most was how this experience was so different from the times he had taken aMT with 6-APB or MXE, but SWIM knows that there are hundreds of variables to every experience, what had occured to SWIM was that he possibly overdosed because never before had he had a bad trip, similarly he had never done such a big line, he did not use scales and so the line he insuffulated could of been more than 100mg - next time SWIM will be more cautious, even if it is a drug he is experienced with.
For anyone interested the notes SWIM wrote at approximately 1.00am:
1. "my mind feels outright disturbed - enough to write this shitty note and smile about it | I get up so as to be uncomfortable, having had comfort before my wake only then do I know real thirst for comfort | FEEL ZANY AS FUCK"
2. "bad idea to taking before work kiddo"
3. "you're totally wired ahahahahaha"
4. "idk why i took it for (illegible two words) for fan/fun"
5. "I try and recollect and write but it fucking teases me gnawing away at me it is the reason i write and why my pen must have no ink i feel like fate is throwing me around like Orca with prey and yet I have know this for months, or perhaps weeks, I am truly insignifficant"
6. "but oh | how naive | and pompous | thou shalt look before the rowing team | how naive | how pompous" (this note made SWIM laugh heartedly in the morning, for he was not part of the rowing team and really didn't understand as to why he had written it down, especially written it down in poem form)
7. "I CANNOT EXPRESS MYSELF BECAUSE THE PEN CONTROLS WHEN IT WORKS AND NOT ME WHICH IS FUCKING STUPID"
8. "ahahaha joker lol jk GO TO SLEEP YOU FUCKING LOON"
whilst writing swim kept losing his train of thought, his writing was hard to read and he vividly remembers having arguments over what he should write on the note, he was completely alone.
