American Drone

[Kosm]

So this isn't a drug post, though make no mistake I rely on drugs to get by on this topic. This post is much more fundamental in it's relevance to basic survival and I hope that the good people of bluelight can offer some equally good advice.

You see, I am an overworked American drone. 60 hours a week, 10 hours a day (12 if you count transit). My mind and soul are rotting. I have no time for family, friends, personal projects, self improvement, furthered education, exercise, cooking or even household chores. I am depressed,miserable and run down. I'm not even doing a job I even vaguely enjoy, in fact the only reason I do it at all is because it pays better than minimum wage and I live in the western money pit of the US (CA) .

Now I would gladly quit if I could but I have rent to pay and I have no (formal) education/ work experience in any field I would like to go into. Nor do I have time to develop these things while at my current job. I know what I want to do for a living (writing/drawing) yet It seems I am too trapped in the maze of the rat race to tend to my body and soul. The result is rapidly degenerating mental, physical and spiritual health with no end in sight and no way out. I try not to kick myself too hard for failing to pursue my passions at a younger age because I spent that time developing my worldview and recover from tge psychological trauma of a messed up childhood. These days I literally dream about getting job offers as a writer/artist only to wake up to the realization that it will never happen because I never put together a portfolio and now I have no time or vitality to do so.

 

[PotatoMan]

homeless -----> SO

 

[Kosm]

homeless -----> SO

What do you mean by SO? Yeah homeless is exactly what I'm afraid of. Its like I must choose between being a slave with a roof or free in a gutter.

 

[socko]

What do you mean by SO? Yeah homeless is exactly what I'm afraid of. Its like I must choose between being a slave with a roof or free in a gutter.

Don't take that as an omen. SO is the name of the sub-forum. Without a viable social safety net, lots Americans live in fear of homelessness.

 

[PotatoMan]

What do you mean by SO? Yeah homeless is exactly what I'm afraid of. Its like I must choose between being a slave with a roof or free in a gutter.

sorry m8. that post is an indication that I moved your thread to the suitable subforum

 

[sigmond]

This is more of a rant, not a topic to discuss. perhaps try to teach yourself web design (HTML,CSS,Javascript) if you put a few hours in daily/weekly you might be competent within a few months. I was gonna check out this course at Coursera:https://www.coursera.org/learn/html-css-javascript-for-web-developers

you can take it for free but I am unsure if they give you a certificate.

 

[Kosm]

I see, thank you

 

[Kosm]

@Sigmond Its not really a rant. The topic is how Americans are increasingly treated like robots and forced to abandon their passions. I see examples of this every day but I chose to relate it to my own experience for the sake of cohesion. Still thank you for your suggestion, even if it doesn't acknowledge the topic or my own personal trials, since I make it clear I want to be a writer/artist not a programmer.

 

[Lysis]

The only person worth working hard for is yourself.

 

[sigmond]

Sorry. yea, this is a problem with the capitalist/consumerist system. I believe its one of the main reasons artists and intellectuals are often socialist sympathizers. You're essentially getting a heavy dose of Marxist alienation and its humiliating. Perhaps this Huxley quote will cheer you up..

Our civilization being what it is, you've got to spent eight hours out of every twenty-four as a mixture between an imbecile and a sewing machine. It's very disagreeable, I know. It's humiliating and disgusting. But there you are. You've got to do it, otherwise the whole fabric of our world will fall to bits and we'll starve. Do the job then, idiotically and mechanically; and spend your leisure hours in being a real complete man or woman.

I mentioned web design/development because it pays pretty well and you might be able to utilize some of your artistic talent.

anyway, good luck

 

[socko]

Some struggling artists work mundane day jobs but devote the nights and weekends to trying to make a breakthrough in art or writing.

 

[Max Power]

Some struggling artists work mundane day jobs but devote the nights and weekends to trying to make a breakthrough in art or writing.

 

[thujone]

Some struggling artists work mundane day jobs but devote the nights and weekends to trying to make a breakthrough in art or writing.

having known a few actors i've watched their struggle firsthand (was an actor myself years ago) and they have to be passionate to the point of irrationality because there's no other way to justify such an existence. the most successful actor i know was the main character in an award-winning short film and even after reaching some level of international acclaim still can be found bussing tables.

writing professionally can be just as hard on your sanity, without the right marketing and timing could very well pen the next great American novel and have it sitting in Amazon's inventory never read by anyone. Hell, G.R.R. Martin has been writing since the 70s and everyone knows of him as the Game of Thrones creator now, but have any of you ever read his science fiction works?

so yeah if you're young and spry and have time you can waste it's possible to shoot for the moon and settle for the clouds but if there's a chance that missing the moon will leave you headed for the gutter at terminal velocity maybe it's better to set smaller, attainable goals that are possible to accomplish in a side-job capacity.

just as an anecdote, when i worked in soul-crushing collections i spent a lot of time drawing shitty three-panel comics and a lot of people in the workplace said i should publish them but it all felt too workplace-specific and i couldn't work out how to scale it to suit a wider audience. fast-forward to today and now there are lots of web comics out there drawn just as shittily, if not more shittily (C&H I'm looking at you) as my comics were, and they have a massive audience and presumably make lots of cash on merchandising.

just goes to show, some opportunities don't look that promising when they're slapping you in the face but if you don't let yourself wake up to them then you could miss out on where they could take you.

 

[sigmond]

yea, its a particular rarity for an artist to survive off creative works alone. In all likelihood this has been going on since humans began cave painting. I am great example of this. Admittedly, I might not have the immense talent as the poster above, however, I am a multi-instrumentalist, technically astute photographer, advanced pizza box painter, preeminent philosopher, wordsmith, and that's just a shortlist.

despite all of that I have never received appropriate stipendium for my work.

 

[spacejunk]

I'm a working musician, never earn much performing or selling records, but it gives my life a lot of meaning that i otherwise wouldn't have.
I don't agree with the idea that "the only person worth working hard for is yourself" - because i have also worked a variety of other jobs that provide particular needs in the community that help people (in one way or another).

I've also had soul destroying jobs where i know The Man i'm working for is a greedy bastard with no social conscience or generosity.
And i've worked in tertiary education institutions where i believe my work has been going towards good - in helping people with their information needs or whatever - a hard day's work doesn't feel like i'm just slogging to make some business man richer - but that i'm part of an institution that (somewhere along the way) is probably making a positive difference in the world.

To me, not all job satisfaction comes from money - that is just what i need to survive.
I have a really good work ethic when it comes to my art - and even though it's not going to make me rich or famous, that has never been my aim, and i do it solely for the satisfaction i get in creating something beautiful and/or exciting - and sharing it with people (the audience).

For me it was a real revelation to discover that there is paid work i feel good about doing. And by the same token, that i can enjoy working on my art - for art's sake - and not feel pressured by the economic pressures that most artists feel these days.

Artistically, I'm planning on doing more film soundtracks and scores, which is both creatively fulfilling and potentially lucrative.
But all in all, I have been able to find a pretty happy middle-ground, and this is something i am very thankful for.
Having said that, i've never been financially "comfortable" - but managed to get by without going mad with boredom. Having a creative outlet is - for me - essential to being happy.
Different people manage to fill a similar need with different things - sport, food, travel, sex....
But i have always tried to pursue lines of employment that i get some kind of satisfaction doing - even at the expense of my financial stability.
To me it is a fair trade off, a decent compromise.

The 'dream' of making a living from art is something less and less people are able to accomplish now, as so much content is available for free online, that a lot of creative work simply has little value to consmers, publishers or the like.
For the sake of your sanity, i think it is really good to continue working on your art if you can - for you.

Most of my friends are creative people, and i have noticed that those who persevere are often able to accomplish amazing things, such as a friend of mine who was a film-maker and photographer and has wound up making music videos and VJing for some of the biggest names in music.
The people who find the pressures of modern adult life, however, often give up - which leaves absolutely no room for achievement.

I think you should keep doing what you love doing, as much as you can.
If nothing else, the frustration and lack of recognition may give you time to develop a unique writing or drawing style - because really, there is no age limit on these sorts of pursuits.
Your hard, thankless work in other fields may give you perspectives on contemporary existence that open up new artistic ideas to you - think about the guy who wrote the "Dilbert" comics, for example.
Or perhaps the soul crushing nature of your day job now will give you the motivation to take some risks that pay off, in terms of chasing after your creative dreams.

It may be a bit fanciful and romantic, but i think the most impressive artists i know have had to work damn hard - and do some shitty things to pay the bills - in order to develop into the creative people they have become. Inspiration doesn't usually come from having a smooth ride in life, in my experience anyway.

One phrase i always find myself coming back to is "don't let the bastards grind you down"

 

[manboychef]

This is the state of affairs in the united states. It is an employer's market and because they do not care about your standard of living they will put profits ahead of their employees.

Wage slavery is what it is.