Well in the long run your significant other would ideally be your best friend.
That is what is was like when I lived with a woman for 3 years, give or take. We were basically married without the paperwork.
You can't be in this world alone. I am not saying just be with someone to be with someone. That is usually self validation and kind of pathetic.
I personally would hate to not have sex. I always try to have some woman I can have sex with even if our relationship is very casual (fuck buddies). That brief connection you feel when you have sex is important in life. It is something that is biologically built into you. It is a human need to reproduce so the act of sex is fufilling that even if you do not intend to reproduce. The connection between two people when they are having sex and both enjoy it is unlike anything else. For that moment and it is free you love that person and then you don't, you just care about them.
I am not saying I have not loved any women I dated but not most of them. I still cared about them. It just didn't progress to that point. People don't usually marry the first person they have sex with so dating is not a commitment you can't get out of. It is just like ending a friendship. The longer you are friends with someone the harder it is to stop being friends. Sometimes you have friends you rarely see and sometimes you have friends you hang out with and speak to constantly or even are room mates.
That really is not that much different than dating but there is sex involved. I don't have sex with by male friends because I am not into men. I do have female friends and have sex with some of them from time to time and then we go back to being friends or not friends. Some women I desired so much we became friends after we were intimate.
I suppose you find love when you are not looking for it or so people say. You usually don't meet women because you are trying to find a girlfriend even if you want one. You find a woman you really fancy when you come across the right one. Shutting down the idea of dating is kind of stupid. It sounds like you haven't given it much of a try.
Maybe you haven't met the right woman and maybe you have not have had good sex yet. But you should at least give it a go. Sometimes sex quality depends on just more than physical attraction. You also have to have a certain bond or similar tastes in the bedroom. I can think of a few women that I really liked to be with and they were some of the most attractive women I dated but it was more than that. I also liked to be around them and there was something else too. I don't know if word love applies but it was just something about them.
Ironically the most attractive woman I ever dated (everyone I know thinks she is the best looking woman they have every met) was good in bed but still it lacked a certain spark. She loved me and I thought I loved her but I didn't. I really found that despite being very attracted to her physically that we didn't really connect mentally. I don't think she will with anyone. She just was very closed minded and I don't mean that in a sexual way. There was no intellect to her and there was no real substance to our relationship. The sexual attraction was there and we liked each other but other than that there was nothing else other than our shared drug addiction. That wasn't enough to keep us together.
I would say that the women I dated that I really connected with I found very attractive but also we could talk and felt comfortable around each other. We did things together and we seemed to be on the same page. These women were not not the same at all in terms of their interests or personality but still we were compatible but there was more than that and I can't put my finger on it other than maybe it was love.
Right now I am not really on the prowl so to speak, I am just busy but I still would want to a relationship if I was to find a woman I wanted to be with. I do see a few women every once in a while for a bit of sex and someone to hang out with.
I just don't think you should have this mindset. It doesn't sound healthy. My sister was all "I don't need a man, I won't get married unless I find the perfect man." Well lets fast forward 20 years. She is one of the most miserable people you could ever meet. She is such a bitch these days, she takes it out on other family members and her social life consists of crashing my other sisters house parties, getting drunk and talking shit and getting kicked out. She is actually a very attractive women, well educated, well traveled, well read, and has a great job. All the same, miserable cunt.
I was friends with an artist who was her age. This dude was a multimillionaire and he is the man. Straight up cool dude and very polite. He gets chicks half his age. But anyways he saw a picture of my sister and just had to meet her. She was not interested. They did not hit if off and he said to me later "no offense, but your sister is some kind of bitch.' She had said she thought he was attractive and that she would like to meet him but I don't know what happened but she shut him down.
I am using her as an example as a person who shuts out the world and regrets it down the road. Dating leads to all sorts of things you don't want to have happen like heartbreak, rejection, and yes it can be difficult to end a relationship but it also has so many great things like passion, sex, intimacy, and it really is both a biological and social need.
I suppose primates and some other smart animals do not breed in captivity. Maybe you feel a bit pressured by your family? You said it was cultural. Is it kind of the arranged marriage type?
Just remember it is your life. You can do whatever you want. This is a drug forum and you have the desire to use drugs and you don't seem to share that with your friends. I think maybe you feel a bit stuck in a social network of people you don't really connect with. I can understand not wanting them. Personally I don't care if a woman uses drugs and usually try to not date women who use much drugs or at least the bad ones.
I think you just need to get out of your bubble whether it is self imposed or you are sticking with your family and people you grew up with and maybe you just do not like your community. Life is about choices and once again it is your life. I think maybe you are not living the one you really want to.
That being said I think you really should try going and doing your own thing. If you do the same things with the same people I could see it getting really boring. I go to the bar, see live music, and do alot of shit by myself. I usually end up making friends and meeting women when I go out by myself. I do have friends I hang out with and do those type of thing with too. I Just am not attached to them to the point where I need them with me.
So you say you don't need anyone in your life and then you say you can't shoot hoops by yourself? What is really going on? Just ask yourself that if you do not want to answer it here.
