fattymagee1
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2016
- Messages
- 4
Hello everyone,
I'm new here, so I apologize if this post isn't in the right place or not in the correct format. Anyhow, first of all I'd like to say that I'm an idiot with poor self-control in the past so please it's not necessary for you to remind me of that. Believe me I know.
My story is rather unusual and I can't find anything online that can directly confirm my suspicions. Anyway... I've had some pretty bad chronic anxiety/depression for a long time, however in the spring I discovered what seemed like a wonder drug called Phenibut. It basically caused my anxiety and problems to go away while I was on it whilst still retaining the ability to function well. I had heard (which later turned out to be bad advice) that one could take relatively small doses every other day and not worry about tolerance/addiction so that's what I did.
That was great for about three months... when I started to have bad migraines. I then figured Phenibut was more trouble then it was worth so I quit cold turkey. Big mistake. The withdrawal from Phenibut is pretty terrible. It probably lasted for a couple months over the summer. In desperation to feel better, I had heard that using benzos could help temporarily relieve Phenibut withdrawal if used sparingly. So long story short I was so messed up at this point I obtained a reliable source of Klonopin (clonazepam) and a Z-drug called Ambien (zolpidem) which I know is very similar to benzos as it acts on the GABA system in the brain. Over the course of I'd say roughly July to September I would get messed up on these drugs in order to escape my woes. I knew that these drugs were also very addictive so I had some sense as to not use them too often, however when I did use them (probably a couple times a week on average) I would take excessive doses at a time (several milligrams) which often resulted in a brownout/blackout. I figured that was better than sobriety during this time as at least it made the time go by faster.
Anyway after a couple months of this I began to notice an assortment of new symptoms start to appear (while some of my phenibut withdrawal symptoms also disappeared). These symptoms include absolutely excessive tiredness/fatigue, a sharp decline in memory/cognitive abilities (the way in which I think has definitely changed and not in a good way), an almost stoned-like sensation with slight vision distortion (it's difficult to describe, but my eyes and skin feel a bit strange and my brain feels very foggy), a mildly but chronically stuffy nose, and a general state of anhedonia with excessive anxiety/depression. The weirdest and just about the only consistent thing about this is that the more I sleep, especially if I oversleep, the symptoms seem to feel worse. I've never experienced anything remotely like this, and it's absolute hell.
Once this became apparent that it was chronic in September, I ceased my drug use altogether. Since then in the last three months I've been experiencing these symptoms constantly and are showing no signs of improvement. I know benzo withdrawal can last a very long time, and the symptoms seem to fit somewhat. However I'm simply not 100% that this is the case as I didn't use them THAT much of or for THAT long... but I did use excessive doses when I did. Would that be enough to induce withdrawal symptoms over the course of the time I described? It seemed that towards the end of that two month period I needed higher doses to achieve an effect.
My past drug use includes being a pretty hardcore stoner, and LSD and DXM a few times. I have not used those substances in several months now though as they stopped being fun during Phenibut withdrawal and recently out of desperation to recover. I've been on several antidepressants (not in over a year) which did nothing for me. I also took Adderall for ADD for years before about a month ago, in which I ceased that as well to see if it would have any effect which it hasn't. I have abused Adderall before too but not in several months. These days I don't use any psychoactive drugs at all (not even caffeine) since I feel like that would give my brain the best possible chance to heal. But I don't know.
Sorry for the length of the post, but I feel all these details are pretty important. Am I experiencing a protracted benzodiazapine withdrawal? I understand that hardcore depression can cause some of these symptoms, but I've been very depressed for a long time and have never experienced anything quite like this. Any opinions/insight into what this might be would be strongly appreciated. Thanks.
I'm new here, so I apologize if this post isn't in the right place or not in the correct format. Anyhow, first of all I'd like to say that I'm an idiot with poor self-control in the past so please it's not necessary for you to remind me of that. Believe me I know.
My story is rather unusual and I can't find anything online that can directly confirm my suspicions. Anyway... I've had some pretty bad chronic anxiety/depression for a long time, however in the spring I discovered what seemed like a wonder drug called Phenibut. It basically caused my anxiety and problems to go away while I was on it whilst still retaining the ability to function well. I had heard (which later turned out to be bad advice) that one could take relatively small doses every other day and not worry about tolerance/addiction so that's what I did.
That was great for about three months... when I started to have bad migraines. I then figured Phenibut was more trouble then it was worth so I quit cold turkey. Big mistake. The withdrawal from Phenibut is pretty terrible. It probably lasted for a couple months over the summer. In desperation to feel better, I had heard that using benzos could help temporarily relieve Phenibut withdrawal if used sparingly. So long story short I was so messed up at this point I obtained a reliable source of Klonopin (clonazepam) and a Z-drug called Ambien (zolpidem) which I know is very similar to benzos as it acts on the GABA system in the brain. Over the course of I'd say roughly July to September I would get messed up on these drugs in order to escape my woes. I knew that these drugs were also very addictive so I had some sense as to not use them too often, however when I did use them (probably a couple times a week on average) I would take excessive doses at a time (several milligrams) which often resulted in a brownout/blackout. I figured that was better than sobriety during this time as at least it made the time go by faster.
Anyway after a couple months of this I began to notice an assortment of new symptoms start to appear (while some of my phenibut withdrawal symptoms also disappeared). These symptoms include absolutely excessive tiredness/fatigue, a sharp decline in memory/cognitive abilities (the way in which I think has definitely changed and not in a good way), an almost stoned-like sensation with slight vision distortion (it's difficult to describe, but my eyes and skin feel a bit strange and my brain feels very foggy), a mildly but chronically stuffy nose, and a general state of anhedonia with excessive anxiety/depression. The weirdest and just about the only consistent thing about this is that the more I sleep, especially if I oversleep, the symptoms seem to feel worse. I've never experienced anything remotely like this, and it's absolute hell.
Once this became apparent that it was chronic in September, I ceased my drug use altogether. Since then in the last three months I've been experiencing these symptoms constantly and are showing no signs of improvement. I know benzo withdrawal can last a very long time, and the symptoms seem to fit somewhat. However I'm simply not 100% that this is the case as I didn't use them THAT much of or for THAT long... but I did use excessive doses when I did. Would that be enough to induce withdrawal symptoms over the course of the time I described? It seemed that towards the end of that two month period I needed higher doses to achieve an effect.
My past drug use includes being a pretty hardcore stoner, and LSD and DXM a few times. I have not used those substances in several months now though as they stopped being fun during Phenibut withdrawal and recently out of desperation to recover. I've been on several antidepressants (not in over a year) which did nothing for me. I also took Adderall for ADD for years before about a month ago, in which I ceased that as well to see if it would have any effect which it hasn't. I have abused Adderall before too but not in several months. These days I don't use any psychoactive drugs at all (not even caffeine) since I feel like that would give my brain the best possible chance to heal. But I don't know.
Sorry for the length of the post, but I feel all these details are pretty important. Am I experiencing a protracted benzodiazapine withdrawal? I understand that hardcore depression can cause some of these symptoms, but I've been very depressed for a long time and have never experienced anything quite like this. Any opinions/insight into what this might be would be strongly appreciated. Thanks.