Alcohol Withdrawal - Please Help - I have to stop

[6969help]

I'm currently 41 years old. I started drinking at 22. From 22 to 25, I drank every night, constantly, I started with beer/wine coolers, then graduated to vodka/jager. I would drink a liter of each a night. I ended up in the hospital after having a seizure at work and my BP being 210/187. That was at 25. It caused me to get high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. I would get help after that, with various meds, zoloft, cymbalta, paxil, celexa, they all would eventually just fade off, and I would always go back to drinking. On and off since then, I've drank, it starts off again with beer/wine coolers, then moves to vodka now. I'm currently on a 3 month binge, where I have 16 shots a night, pass out for maybe 6 hours, wake up, have terrible anxiety, think I'm going to die, my BP goes up to 160/100, my heart rate goes up to 130, I try to stop, I have a prescription for Klonopin, but it doesn't even budge it. I last maybe 6 hours before I feel like I'm honestly going to die, and drink again. I'm no longer drinking to get high, feel good. I'm just doing it to stop my mind from racing and my heart from going. I know that may be just an excuse, but it really isn't. I don't enjoy it anymore. I hate myself for what I have become.

Several months back I tried to cut off drinking, I took my Klonopin too much and ended up with Benzo Withdrawal. I honestly don't know how I made it through that. I hallucinated, I lost my parents (they no longer talk to me), I was handcuffed and sent to the mentalward of the hospital. I lost 6 days of my life..... I somehow made it.

After all of that, I'm scared to death of the alcohol withdrawals, the DTs, seizures, and going through what I went through with the Benzo withdrawal again. I have no one left in my life after my years of alcohol abuse. I've let so many people down, I've crushed so many relationships, I've lost all my friends, I'm just alone, by myself, and scared to death. Where I live doesn't help either. At rehab, they shove 12 of us in a cabin and check on us every 12 hours. People fight, I've had stuff stolen from me, I've even had my medication taken from me by someone. That didn't work at all, it was horrible, worse than me killing myself with the alcohol. My local hospitals don't care, they tell me to go to rehab, stabilize my BP and heart rate, let me go, and that's it. My current psych. refuses to handle alcohol abuse, says I should just stop and adding medication to it is just replacing one crutch with another.... Which I agree, but for a month or so, to take away from the withdrawals, what is the problem?

I recently got a script for Naltrexone, but it has made things worse. The withdrawals won't go away unless I double my alcohol intake now. I've tried several doctors, none are willing to help, they just tell me to quit drinking. I've even had EMS at my house, thinking I was having a heart attack, and they called a cop to tell me I shouldn't call 911 again, it is against the law unless it is an emergency, and alcohol isn't an emergency, just quit drinking.

After having seizures before, and at my age, the DTs will come, and I will die. I will lose my mind, I will suffer, and I will lose my battle. I don't want to die. I know all of this is my fault, I accept that. I know none of you are doctors, I don't care about that, doctors have failed me over and over and over again..... Advice is all I want, please help me. I'm currently stuck where I have a major panic attack after 18 hours of drinking. If I take 2 shots, I'm fine. It is an ongoing cycle of just destroying myself. Please. Help.

 

[Robi]

what hell my heart goes out to you, sounds like you had all the meds before, but what helped me so much was tons of water TONS, lots of fruit in veges, i loved hot baths but for alcohol my aunt took cold showers, i dont want you alone, thats the worst, glad your writing, it can help, but my concern is that yeah i dont want you seizing, hate to say wean , like you said , the cycle, aunt would take benzos, she was a terrible alcoholic and in hospital 3 times all swelled up and yell0w with only like a quarter of her liver workin( amazing rejuvination and shes doing well over time) but as for you, im at a loss because you have been treated and hospitalized before, so i cant say go to the hospital so you dont seize, there many that are so informed here,, extremely intelligent and perhaps give guidance im sure of it, youre not alone and welcome, good you are reaching out...........F.E.AR .forgetting everything and running(going to the bottle) facing everything and rising(getting help) know we are here for you, im a recovering opioid addict and i know your fears , but i just dont want you to seize, abrupt abstinence worries me, you seem intelligent just addicted, i have so much hope in you and be welcomed

 

[SoCalShordie]

I'm currently 41 years old. I started drinking at 22. From 22 to 25, I drank every night, constantly, I started with beer/wine coolers, then graduated to vodka/jager. I would drink a liter of each a night. I ended up in the hospital after having a seizure at work and my BP being 210/187. That was at 25. It caused me to get high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. I would get help after that, with various meds, zoloft, cymbalta, paxil, celexa, they all would eventually just fade off, and I would always go back to drinking. On and off since then, I've drank, it starts off again with beer/wine coolers, then moves to vodka now. I'm currently on a 3 month binge, where I have 16 shots a night, pass out for maybe 6 hours, wake up, have terrible anxiety, think I'm going to die, my BP goes up to 160/100, my heart rate goes up to 130, I try to stop, I have a prescription for Klonopin, but it doesn't even budge it. I last maybe 6 hours before I feel like I'm honestly going to die, and drink again. I'm no longer drinking to get high, feel good. I'm just doing it to stop my mind from racing and my heart from going. I know that may be just an excuse, but it really isn't. I don't enjoy it anymore. I hate myself for what I have become.

Several months back I tried to cut off drinking, I took my Klonopin too much and ended up with Benzo Withdrawal. I honestly don't know how I made it through that. I hallucinated, I lost my parents (they no longer talk to me), I was handcuffed and sent to the mentalward of the hospital. I lost 6 days of my life..... I somehow made it.

After all of that, I'm scared to death of the alcohol withdrawals, the DTs, seizures, and going through what I went through with the Benzo withdrawal again. I have no one left in my life after my years of alcohol abuse. I've let so many people down, I've crushed so many relationships, I've lost all my friends, I'm just alone, by myself, and scared to death. Where I live doesn't help either. At rehab, they shove 12 of us in a cabin and check on us every 12 hours. People fight, I've had stuff stolen from me, I've even had my medication taken from me by someone. That didn't work at all, it was horrible, worse than me killing myself with the alcohol. My local hospitals don't care, they tell me to go to rehab, stabilize my BP and heart rate, let me go, and that's it. My current psych. refuses to handle alcohol abuse, says I should just stop and adding medication to it is just replacing one crutch with another.... Which I agree, but for a month or so, to take away from the withdrawals, what is the problem?

I recently got a script for Naltrexone, but it has made things worse. The withdrawals won't go away unless I double my alcohol intake now. I've tried several doctors, none are willing to help, they just tell me to quit drinking. I've even had EMS at my house, thinking I was having a heart attack, and they called a cop to tell me I shouldn't call 911 again, it is against the law unless it is an emergency, and alcohol isn't an emergency, just quit drinking.

After having seizures before, and at my age, the DTs will come, and I will die. I will lose my mind, I will suffer, and I will lose my battle. I don't want to die. I know all of this is my fault, I accept that. I know none of you are doctors, I don't care about that, doctors have failed me over and over and over again..... Advice is all I want, please help me. I'm currently stuck where I have a major panic attack after 18 hours of drinking. If I take 2 shots, I'm fine. It is an ongoing cycle of just destroying myself. Please. Help.

Even though I don’t have any experience with alcohol withdrawal, I wanted to pop in anyway to offer my support. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been thru and what you’re going thru. Please feel free to message me any time u need to talk to anyone and just want to vent, or any other bluelighter. There’s some really good people in this community who are here to help others & give advice.

 

[Nas47]

I'm currently 41 years old. I started drinking at 22. From 22 to 25, I drank every night, constantly, I started with beer/wine coolers, then graduated to vodka/jager. I would drink a liter of each a night. I ended up in the hospital after having a seizure at work and my BP being 210/187. That was at 25. It caused me to get high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. I would get help after that, with various meds, zoloft, cymbalta, paxil, celexa, they all would eventually just fade off, and I would always go back to drinking. On and off since then, I've drank, it starts off again with beer/wine coolers, then moves to vodka now. I'm currently on a 3 month binge, where I have 16 shots a night, pass out for maybe 6 hours, wake up, have terrible anxiety, think I'm going to die, my BP goes up to 160/100, my heart rate goes up to 130, I try to stop, I have a prescription for Klonopin, but it doesn't even budge it. I last maybe 6 hours before I feel like I'm honestly going to die, and drink again. I'm no longer drinking to get high, feel good. I'm just doing it to stop my mind from racing and my heart from going. I know that may be just an excuse, but it really isn't. I don't enjoy it anymore. I hate myself for what I have become.

Several months back I tried to cut off drinking, I took my Klonopin too much and ended up with Benzo Withdrawal. I honestly don't know how I made it through that. I hallucinated, I lost my parents (they no longer talk to me), I was handcuffed and sent to the mentalward of the hospital. I lost 6 days of my life..... I somehow made it.

After all of that, I'm scared to death of the alcohol withdrawals, the DTs, seizures, and going through what I went through with the Benzo withdrawal again. I have no one left in my life after my years of alcohol abuse. I've let so many people down, I've crushed so many relationships, I've lost all my friends, I'm just alone, by myself, and scared to death. Where I live doesn't help either. At rehab, they shove 12 of us in a cabin and check on us every 12 hours. People fight, I've had stuff stolen from me, I've even had my medication taken from me by someone. That didn't work at all, it was horrible, worse than me killing myself with the alcohol. My local hospitals don't care, they tell me to go to rehab, stabilize my BP and heart rate, let me go, and that's it. My current psych. refuses to handle alcohol abuse, says I should just stop and adding medication to it is just replacing one crutch with another.... Which I agree, but for a month or so, to take away from the withdrawals, what is the problem?

I recently got a script for Naltrexone, but it has made things worse. The withdrawals won't go away unless I double my alcohol intake now. I've tried several doctors, none are willing to help, they just tell me to quit drinking. I've even had EMS at my house, thinking I was having a heart attack, and they called a cop to tell me I shouldn't call 911 again, it is against the law unless it is an emergency, and alcohol isn't an emergency, just quit drinking.

After having seizures before, and at my age, the DTs will come, and I will die. I will lose my mind, I will suffer, and I will lose my battle. I don't want to die. I know all of this is my fault, I accept that. I know none of you are doctors, I don't care about that, doctors have failed me over and over and over again..... Advice is all I want, please help me. I'm currently stuck where I have a major panic attack after 18 hours of drinking. If I take 2 shots, I'm fine. It is an ongoing cycle of just destroying myself. Please. Help.

Stuggle with alc.addiction is hard and painful like all depressant-acting drugs.Heavy drinkers often must go in hospital environment on systems,quitting all alcohol intake,medicines.After the withdrawl is managing stands long recover way-12 steps/AA..changing environment,way of live.....way of thinking,managing new copy skills to combat with addiction.Naltrexon never could be used together with alcohol-it could be very unpleasant even dangerous.Wish you luck and the best solution of your problem,but you must act.

 

[Coffeeshroom]

I was and still am an alcoholic. What work for me in the past when i got clean and was clean for a full 8 years. What i did that helped me was benzos ( a long acting one with anticonvulsant properties) and also tappering down on my alcohol intake as i have found it's not something you can just stop cold turkey especially if you an alcoholic. SO i would advice a light dose of benzos for exp 5mg valium and having a drink only when needed. fight the urge off as long as you can and carry on from there. after 2 weeks roughly the worst should be over on the physical side and then it's just a mental game. But just to add diazepam was the best benzo for me to help me get off the alcohol and helped with wd's

I'm not 100% sure how or what protocol you followed that failed but this one helped me. All the best and just believe in yourself. the mind is a powerful thing.

 

[Dandreas345]

I'm currently 41 years old. I started drinking at 22. From 22 to 25, I drank every night, constantly, I started with beer/wine coolers, then graduated to vodka/jager. I would drink a liter of each a night. I ended up in the hospital after having a seizure at work and my BP being 210/187. That was at 25. It caused me to get high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. I would get help after that, with various meds, zoloft, cymbalta, paxil, celexa, they all would eventually just fade off, and I would always go back to drinking. On and off since then, I've drank, it starts off again with beer/wine coolers, then moves to vodka now. I'm currently on a 3 month binge, where I have 16 shots a night, pass out for maybe 6 hours, wake up, have terrible anxiety, think I'm going to die, my BP goes up to 160/100, my heart rate goes up to 130, I try to stop, I have a prescription for Klonopin, but it doesn't even budge it. I last maybe 6 hours before I feel like I'm honestly going to die, and drink again. I'm no longer drinking to get high, feel good. I'm just doing it to stop my mind from racing and my heart from going. I know that may be just an excuse, but it really isn't. I don't enjoy it anymore. I hate myself for what I have become.

Several months back I tried to cut off drinking, I took my Klonopin too much and ended up with Benzo Withdrawal. I honestly don't know how I made it through that. I hallucinated, I lost my parents (they no longer talk to me), I was handcuffed and sent to the mentalward of the hospital. I lost 6 days of my life..... I somehow made it.

After all of that, I'm scared to death of the alcohol withdrawals, the DTs, seizures, and going through what I went through with the Benzo withdrawal again. I have no one left in my life after my years of alcohol abuse. I've let so many people down, I've crushed so many relationships, I've lost all my friends, I'm just alone, by myself, and scared to death. Where I live doesn't help either. At rehab, they shove 12 of us in a cabin and check on us every 12 hours. People fight, I've had stuff stolen from me, I've even had my medication taken from me by someone. That didn't work at all, it was horrible, worse than me killing myself with the alcohol. My local hospitals don't care, they tell me to go to rehab, stabilize my BP and heart rate, let me go, and that's it. My current psych. refuses to handle alcohol abuse, says I should just stop and adding medication to it is just replacing one crutch with another.... Which I agree, but for a month or so, to take away from the withdrawals, what is the problem?

I recently got a script for Naltrexone, but it has made things worse. The withdrawals won't go away unless I double my alcohol intake now. I've tried several doctors, none are willing to help, they just tell me to quit drinking. I've even had EMS at my house, thinking I was having a heart attack, and they called a cop to tell me I shouldn't call 911 again, it is against the law unless it is an emergency, and alcohol isn't an emergency, just quit drinking.

After having seizures before, and at my age, the DTs will come, and I will die. I will lose my mind, I will suffer, and I will lose my battle. I don't want to die. I know all of this is my fault, I accept that. I know none of you are doctors, I don't care about that, doctors have failed me over and over and over again..... Advice is all I want, please help me. I'm currently stuck where I have a major panic attack after 18 hours of drinking. If I take 2 shots, I'm fine. It is an ongoing cycle of just destroying myself. Please. Help.

Hey bro, I just am here to say that I'm in your spot, and have been in worse. I'm there with you. You're at the jumping off point as they say in the big book of AA -- not to be a big book thumper but I find this terminology helpful in these spots.

There is always a way out. I recommend if you begin experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms again, you head straight to an Emergency Room. Do not pass go, do not collect 200$, straight to the ER. Demand they get you placement into a treatment facility. Be very adamant that you need help for addiction treatment.

I say this because at the end of my last 2 year run, I was in a similar predicament. It became acute when someone assaulted me, I managed to escape, and I ran to a hospital quite literally on foot, ran. I got into the ER and they were intent on discharging me once they gave me a benzo. I firmly said I do not want to leave, I need help for addiction. I was very adamant and I was very concise in saying that I had a severe addiction issue with alcohol + other substances and needed treatment. They allowed me to stay in the ER until they placed me into a state funded treatment option.

Now this was in a southern state, I won't name currently. I don't know where you are, but I imagine the healthcare systems concerning addiction are similar these days. It is worth a shot my bro. I also know that my home state in the northeast has a policy of allowing anyone to present at a fire house aka a fire station, and saying I need help for addiction. The firefighters will then take your vitals, and sit and chill with you until a social worker comes and places you in a rehab facility.

I really hope the best for you. My last thing I will say is if you have private insurance privately funded rehab facilities are easily accessible even across state lines. They will fly you out on your insurance's dime. If you don't? It is currently the open enrollment period and I recommend you purchase the best policy you can afford, which will then enable you to seek treatment in a very nice and resourceful facility anywhere in the country essentially.

Again man, I wish you the best and if nobody has told you this today I give a fuck about you and what you're going through. PM me anytime.

 

[6969help]

what hell my heart goes out to you, sounds like you had all the meds before, but what helped me so much was tons of water TONS, lots of fruit in veges, i loved hot baths but for alcohol my aunt took cold showers, i dont want you alone, thats the worst, glad your writing, it can help, but my concern is that yeah i dont want you seizing, hate to say wean , like you said , the cycle, aunt would take benzos, she was a terrible alcoholic and in hospital 3 times all swelled up and yell0w with only like a quarter of her liver workin( amazing rejuvination and shes doing well over time) but as for you, im at a loss because you have been treated and hospitalized before, so i cant say go to the hospital so you dont seize, there many that are so informed here,, extremely intelligent and perhaps give guidance im sure of it, youre not alone and welcome, good you are reaching out...........F.E.AR .forgetting everything and running(going to the bottle) facing everything and rising(getting help) know we are here for you, im a recovering opioid addict and i know your fears , but i just dont want you to seize, abrupt abstinence worries me, you seem intelligent just addicted, i have so much hope in you and be welcomed

I can't stand the anxiety, I stay in bed all day, I'm scared to even move because of my BP and heart rate. Living like this is hell. Living in Alabama is just hell, no one wants to help, they all tell me "go to rehab" which is only one place local. At rehab, they shove 12 of us in a cabin and check on us every 12 hours. People fight, I've had stuff stolen from me, I've even had my medication taken from me by someone. That didn't work at all, it was horrible, worse than me killing myself with the alcohol. I'm just out of options at this point. No one around here understands. I don't want to die.

 

[Robi]

I have fucks to give and youre not going to die, just need healing, i have raging anxiety soon as i got menopuase(pause from the men) we all feel for you and can relate on many levels , try to asorbe the care folks are sending, i dont breath well, short high breaths but breath babe breath ROLL TIDE

 

[Dandreas345]

I can't stand the anxiety, I stay in bed all day, I'm scared to even move because of my BP and heart rate. Living like this is hell. Living in Alabama is just hell, no one wants to help, they all tell me "go to rehab" which is only one place local. At rehab, they shove 12 of us in a cabin and check on us every 12 hours. People fight, I've had stuff stolen from me, I've even had my medication taken from me by someone. That didn't work at all, it was horrible, worse than me killing myself with the alcohol. I'm just out of options at this point. No one around here understands. I don't want to die.

I'm here for you bro. Dying isn't an option, we're going to make it through this shit.

 

[relentlessgenjin]

Sorry I just can't answer the 6969 help line nothing personal but I can add my own hope say I hope I can stop drinking I would love the money I save and could spend on wholesome food and real fun where I don't pay to poison myself!

 

[drmichaelimperioli]

I'm currently 41 years old. I started drinking at 22. From 22 to 25, I drank every night, constantly, I started with beer/wine coolers, then graduated to vodka/jager. I would drink a liter of each a night. I ended up in the hospital after having a seizure at work and my BP being 210/187. That was at 25. It caused me to get high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. I would get help after that, with various meds, zoloft, cymbalta, paxil, celexa, they all would eventually just fade off, and I would always go back to drinking. On and off since then, I've drank, it starts off again with beer/wine coolers, then moves to vodka now. I'm currently on a 3 month binge, where I have 16 shots a night, pass out for maybe 6 hours, wake up, have terrible anxiety, think I'm going to die, my BP goes up to 160/100, my heart rate goes up to 130, I try to stop, I have a prescription for Klonopin, but it doesn't even budge it. I last maybe 6 hours before I feel like I'm honestly going to die, and drink again. I'm no longer drinking to get high, feel good. I'm just doing it to stop my mind from racing and my heart from going. I know that may be just an excuse, but it really isn't. I don't enjoy it anymore. I hate myself for what I have become.

Several months back I tried to cut off drinking, I took my Klonopin too much and ended up with Benzo Withdrawal. I honestly don't know how I made it through that. I hallucinated, I lost my parents (they no longer talk to me), I was handcuffed and sent to the mentalward of the hospital. I lost 6 days of my life..... I somehow made it.

After all of that, I'm scared to death of the alcohol withdrawals, the DTs, seizures, and going through what I went through with the Benzo withdrawal again. I have no one left in my life after my years of alcohol abuse. I've let so many people down, I've crushed so many relationships, I've lost all my friends, I'm just alone, by myself, and scared to death. Where I live doesn't help either. At rehab, they shove 12 of us in a cabin and check on us every 12 hours. People fight, I've had stuff stolen from me, I've even had my medication taken from me by someone. That didn't work at all, it was horrible, worse than me killing myself with the alcohol. My local hospitals don't care, they tell me to go to rehab, stabilize my BP and heart rate, let me go, and that's it. My current psych. refuses to handle alcohol abuse, says I should just stop and adding medication to it is just replacing one crutch with another.... Which I agree, but for a month or so, to take away from the withdrawals, what is the problem?

I recently got a script for Naltrexone, but it has made things worse. The withdrawals won't go away unless I double my alcohol intake now. I've tried several doctors, none are willing to help, they just tell me to quit drinking. I've even had EMS at my house, thinking I was having a heart attack, and they called a cop to tell me I shouldn't call 911 again, it is against the law unless it is an emergency, and alcohol isn't an emergency, just quit drinking.

After having seizures before, and at my age, the DTs will come, and I will die. I will lose my mind, I will suffer, and I will lose my battle. I don't want to die. I know all of this is my fault, I accept that. I know none of you are doctors, I don't care about that, doctors have failed me over and over and over again..... Advice is all I want, please help me. I'm currently stuck where I have a major panic attack after 18 hours of drinking. If I take 2 shots, I'm fine. It is an ongoing cycle of just destroying myself. Please. Help.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm 23 and honestly came to this forum for advice on alcohol withdrawals for myself and my best friend before going home for Christmas. I don't even know if we can do it and I'm not as far along as you, so my advice would be to go to a detox center, even though I understand that it's hell for that period of time, but I truly believe that in your state it would be the safest and most reliable option. I'm not too far from doing that myself because friends of mine have gone and they have been very grateful for it after the fact, I just could not handle telling my parents. Right now, I'm trying to find a doctor who will prescribe Ativan, Librium, or Valium, which is what my therapist suggested to stop that hellish punch-in-the-chest feeling and the shakes and everything, plus I'm going to try weaning off. I really hope things work out for you. I know it's hard and it's not as simple as "just stop." People really underestimate the grip that alcohol can have on a person. I didn't even get it and looking back on it, I wish I had known, and I'm sure you feel the same way. The anxiety is truly one of the worst aspects because most of us drink to reduce it and it just ends up making it infinitely worse. I think you do need to seek help from other professionals and go to detox for your own safety. I know it's easier said than done, but I know that detox and rehab have made a huge difference for people close to me, but only the ones who truly WANTED it and even for some of them it's taken a few tries. My friend has already been hospitalized due to his liver damage and we both drink the same amount, plus we have to go home to our families soon, so we're both truly terrified and cannot "just stop." Good luck to you, I know it's hard, but you seem like you really want it and I think that's a very good start. You can get out of this, I can too, just keep trying.