Stimulants Alcohol, Adderall, Anxiety, Paranoia

[Saturnstarship]

Hello, I'm new to these forums, let me start off with a little background. Sorry this post is going to be long.


I am having some issues. I have severe social anxiety and paranoia. I have a paranoia that people think I am gay (even though i'm not). Well I have social anxiety so bad I can't even look people into the eyes and sometimes I look down while talking to them and I feel like people think I am staring at their crotch. So I try my hardest to look people directly in the eyes but I can't. To combat these paranoid thoughts I drink alcohol when I am around people.


I have tried a lot for anxiety. Benzos help but I don't want to go that route because of addiction. Phenibut worked great, but I was dosing huge amounts and when I ran out I had a terrible time. Alcohol seems to work the best. But the hangover sucks and I can't drink at work. I smoke weed to sleep and sometimes with friends and that makes my anxiety terrible, unless I drink first. I have been taking Adderall for a long time too, mostly recreationally.


I used to be prescribed Adderall because I convinced my doctor it got rid of my social anxiety. It did actually for a little while. But then after every day of theurapetic use, every time I took it I felt like a cracked out mess and when the come down hit I hid from people because I felt so terrible and couldn't look people in the eyes. I got rid of the prescription. But I still do them when I drink.


My routine is like this:


Go hang with friends. Anxiety kicks in. Drink alcohol until I get numb and the anxiety goes away and I can look people in the eyes. Then when I drink enough I start craving Adderall really bad. So I do one (intranasal). Now i'm drunk and speeding. I don't have anxiety because the alcohol but now I am chain smoking cigarettes and sipping on caffeine because Adderall makes me crave those. I keep drinking to keep the anxiety down from the Adderall. End up usually drinking 3-5 shooter shots of whiskey and at least 3 beers to lessen the comedown and keep anxiety at bay, every single time I go out. I come down anyway and end up laying in my bed for hours regretting taking the adderall. I go to sleep and wake up feeling absolutely horrible. Massive hangover, depression, and anxiety, asking myself why I keep doing this.


I keep doing this to myself. I only like Adderall because it makes me feel good for the first two hours. I only really crave Adderall when I am drinking. I only drink if I know I am going to be hanging out with someone. I usually take Adderall 2-3 times a week, when I am hanging out with friends.


I've been going through this cycle for years now. I've had anxiety all my life but it never got this bad until I started taking adderall, and I used to trip a lot off lsd, and I think it contributed and gave me slight signs of schizophrenia. I ran a few cycles of prohormone's 3-4 years ago and I think low testosterone levels are contributing to my anxiety too.


I've tried reaching out to my psychiatrist and he says it's all in my head and he will only prescribe me anti depressants. Ive tried those and they did nothing for my anxiety, unless I drank alcohol. They made me crave alcohol more then anything I've ever taken. When I was on ssris I would drink between 5 and 10 shooter shots of whiskey every single day. And I mean every single day. Did that for months straight and started blacking out. Since the ssri didn't do me any good I quit that.


I feel like I'm going crazy, possibly developing schizophrenia. Constant hangovers, anxiety, paranoia, and Adderall crashes are draining me and making me question how sane I am. I don't think I have an alcohol problem, because I can go weeks without drinking if I become a hermit and lock myself inside. I use alcohol to feel comfortable in front of people. But alcohol makes me want to do other drugs, hence the Adderall problem.


I want to be able to go out without feeling like I need to drink a beer to be comfortable. And I want to leave Adderall in the dust. I don't know what to do next though. I am considering trying gabapentin. Seems like my anxiety is a gabaergic issue.


I am having a really difficult time facing the world. If anyone has any suggestions for getting rid of these thoughts or you feel like we have similarities please share. I have nobody to talk to this about. If you have suggestions on stopping Adderall please share. Feel free to ask me any questions.


Sorry for the extremely long post. If you took the time to read this then thank you.

 

[truenamebrand]

Hello, I'm new to these forums, let me start off with a little background. Sorry this post is going to be long.


I am having some issues. I have severe social anxiety and paranoia. I have a paranoia that people think I am gay (even though i'm not). Well I have social anxiety so bad I can't even look people into the eyes and sometimes I look down while talking to them and I feel like people think I am staring at their crotch. So I try my hardest to look people directly in the eyes but I can't. To combat these paranoid thoughts I drink alcohol when I am around people.


I have tried a lot for anxiety. Benzos help but I don't want to go that route because of addiction. Phenibut worked great, but I was dosing huge amounts and when I ran out I had a terrible time. Alcohol seems to work the best. But the hangover sucks and I can't drink at work. I smoke weed to sleep and sometimes with friends and that makes my anxiety terrible, unless I drink first. I have been taking Adderall for a long time too, mostly recreationally.


I used to be prescribed Adderall because I convinced my doctor it got rid of my social anxiety. It did actually for a little while. But then after every day of theurapetic use, every time I took it I felt like a cracked out mess and when the come down hit I hid from people because I felt so terrible and couldn't look people in the eyes. I got rid of the prescription. But I still do them when I drink.


My routine is like this:


Go hang with friends. Anxiety kicks in. Drink alcohol until I get numb and the anxiety goes away and I can look people in the eyes. Then when I drink enough I start craving Adderall really bad. So I do one (intranasal). Now i'm drunk and speeding. I don't have anxiety because the alcohol but now I am chain smoking cigarettes and sipping on caffeine because Adderall makes me crave those. I keep drinking to keep the anxiety down from the Adderall. End up usually drinking 3-5 shooter shots of whiskey and at least 3 beers to lessen the comedown and keep anxiety at bay, every single time I go out. I come down anyway and end up laying in my bed for hours regretting taking the adderall. I go to sleep and wake up feeling absolutely horrible. Massive hangover, depression, and anxiety, asking myself why I keep doing this.


I keep doing this to myself. I only like Adderall because it makes me feel good for the first two hours. I only really crave Adderall when I am drinking. I only drink if I know I am going to be hanging out with someone. I usually take Adderall 2-3 times a week, when I am hanging out with friends.


I've been going through this cycle for years now. I've had anxiety all my life but it never got this bad until I started taking adderall, and I used to trip a lot off lsd, and I think it contributed and gave me slight signs of schizophrenia. I ran a few cycles of prohormone's 3-4 years ago and I think low testosterone levels are contributing to my anxiety too.


I've tried reaching out to my psychiatrist and he says it's all in my head and he will only prescribe me anti depressants. Ive tried those and they did nothing for my anxiety, unless I drank alcohol. They made me crave alcohol more then anything I've ever taken. When I was on ssris I would drink between 5 and 10 shooter shots of whiskey every single day. And I mean every single day. Did that for months straight and started blacking out. Since the ssri didn't do me any good I quit that.


I feel like I'm going crazy, possibly developing schizophrenia. Constant hangovers, anxiety, paranoia, and Adderall crashes are draining me and making me question how sane I am. I don't think I have an alcohol problem, because I can go weeks without drinking if I become a hermit and lock myself inside. I use alcohol to feel comfortable in front of people. But alcohol makes me want to do other drugs, hence the Adderall problem.


I want to be able to go out without feeling like I need to drink a beer to be comfortable. And I want to leave Adderall in the dust. I don't know what to do next though. I am considering trying gabapentin. Seems like my anxiety is a gabaergic issue.


I am having a really difficult time facing the world. If anyone has any suggestions for getting rid of these thoughts or you feel like we have similarities please share. I have nobody to talk to this about. If you have suggestions on stopping Adderall please share. Feel free to ask me any questions.


Sorry for the extremely long post. If you took the time to read this then thank you.

First and foremost, the alcohol and adderall combo brings about pretty much the shittiest hangover/comedown one could possibly experience. Terrible, terrible combination. It's also especially hard on the body, especially because of the sleep deprivation. Even when you think you're sleeping after adderall, if alcohol is aiding it, your body isn't really resting. This will most definitely contribute to your anxiety and depression. Avoiding binges on this combo is half your battle. I always tell people to avoid alcohol after amphetamines at all costs.

To be totally honest, it sounds like a benzo habit that allows you to function somewhat normally beats the hell out of the cycle you're currently in. I'd opt for that any day of the week and twice on sundays over the alternative.

Perhaps it's not a psychiatrist you need but simply a therapist. I found therapy pretty cathartic and helpful for a while, but like most things with me, its benefits waned and I stopped going. Maybe try that at first rather than a self-righteous psychiatrist who sees you as nothing more than a diagnosis in a manual and wants to give you drugs that don't actually help, without actually LISTENING to you (this pretty accurately sums up most psychiatrists IMO).

 

[FuckinAcidMan]

Dxude you are RAGGING on your body. Please stop combining amps and booze they really run your whole system of organs through a masher especially when used together in a binge like you are doing. Have you considered maybe experimenting with herbal supplements for anxiety? Or maybe a valium script? it sounds like you are using a very ancient drug (alcohol) in a way that it honestly is best NOT to use it. Consider looking into vyvanse or dexedrine, or any D amp only amphetamine tablets, as the l-amp in adderall is almost entirely responsible for the bodyload, crash and icky restlessness associated with the mid to late stage effects of the addy buzz.

 

[Saturnstarship]

Well you guys are right. I am going to stop taking Adderall recreationally and cut my drinking down. I don't think I'm addicted, just have a hard time turning them down when they are offered to me. I got some L Theanine, 5 HTP, and Ashwandgha (sp?). Going to give that a try for my anxiety. Anyone have any luck with these? Trying to stay away from benzos because I have a very addictive personality. Really looking to increase my health instead of bogging it down taking amphetamines and alcohol though. Thanks for the support.

 

[FuckinAcidMan]

l theanine is great. valarian root is good too. also really high quality chamomille flowers and a tea strainer can make you really nice relaxing and tasty chamomille tea that is actually rather strong.