Help! ADHD, Depression, etc.

[Scrwd66]

Hello all, been browsing the internet lately looking for help.

Been on this site a few times, but hadn't considered joining until today. My post will go over a bit of back story, but my questions are primarily about psychedelics.



*condensed question *

Can Psychedelics help with:

•mental illnesses

•suicidal thoughts, tendencies

•lack of motivation

•Cognitive impairment



I hope I'm posting this in the right place, if not, please advise and I'll delete, or whatever.

Okay so I'll try and keep this as short as possible, but I am very fragmented, and find it hard to compile all of my thoughts.

I've been an alcoholic to some extent for the last 4 years while I had been active duty Military, during my time in my undiagnosed ADHD has become debilitating to the point I could not function, I have been on Adderall for the last year (1 10mg ir & 1 20mg xr).

It has helped, but I have been looking for a solution, not a bandaid.

I quit drinking a little over 2 months ago, and have been experimenting with shrooms, my intent is to possibly get to the bottom of my misery. I've been borderline suicidal for the better part of 18 years, (I am now a mid 30's male)but have never really made an attempt, I want to get better, but I know my head isn't what most would say is normal. Any time I am not doing a task my mind starts to mull over things and nearly always leads me to thoughts about ending it.

I know I could be happy, but hardwork, and perseverance isn't going to cut it.

I've tried multiple careers, and even the military. No one knows me, and I have no interest in talking to "professionals " anymore. I've been on so many different drugs for depression, and anxiety, but they only ever made matters worse.

At this point, my life is the worst, and also the best it's ever been.

I have a house, an amazing dog, my bills are kept in check.

I have plenty of opportunities financially speaking, but I am dead inside, I don't know who I am, what I want, or anything.

Every day it gets harder to find the motivation to get out of bed, or do simple tasks, I feel like I'm becoming locked inside my head even.

I went through a lot as a kid, and never got any treatment, I suspect many of my issues stem from it.

I know there is no simple fix for fucked, but I keep hearing of things like metaprogramming while using Ketamine and stuff.

I haven't really managed to pull myself to taking a large enough dose of shrooms to actually trip. I figured I would try "microdosing", but I have taken doses high enough to inspire some very constructive thought, and even see some very fascinating patterns when my eyes are shut.

I believe I have nothing to lose by trying something a bit stronger, but I think I have control issues, making it difficult to be vulnerable during a trip.

Any tips on letting go?

Seriously, if you managed to read this to the end, you have earned a lot of good karma!

I know my writing is extremely difficult to het though, it's not easy for me to write.

 

[Arnold]

Apparently it's not for everybody with on average an 80% succes rate.

Ketamine or make that DMXE is brilliant imo just look up the dosages and potential dangers involved.
Proven to remove suicidal tendancies in a lot of people on the spot.

A proper psilocybin trip can potentially show you where the problem lies, it can also freak you out as you're asking what's making you repressed.
A bad trip 'could' bring anger issues out, it could also make you calm....

It sounds like you need a bit more than just drugs and also bit of a chat.

Any physical pain issues?

There's a whole subsection of this site dedicated to answer your question btw with 'scientific articles'.

Psychedelic Medicine

A knowledge base for those interested in the medical treatment potential of psychedelics.

bluelight.org

 

[Scrwd66]

Apparently it's not for everybody with on average an 80% succes rate.

Ketamine or make that DMXE is brilliant imo just look up the dosages and potential dangers involved.
Proven to remove suicidal tendancies in a lot of people on the spot.

A proper psilocybin trip can potentially show you where the problem lies, it can also freak you out as you're asking what's making you repressed.
A bad trip 'could' bring anger issues out, it could also make you calm....

It sounds like you need a bit more than just drugs and also bit of a chat.

Any physical pain issues?

There's a whole subsection of this site dedicated to answer your question btw with 'scientific articles'.

Psychedelic Medicine

A knowledge base for those interested in the medical treatment potential of psychedelics.

bluelight.org

Hey I appreciate your response and insight!
I live with constant pain, some from the work I do, some from previous injuries, I'm not sure if that has much to do with it. I am normally able to ignore it.
I have spent many years getting to the bottom of my life, I feel like I have a good understanding, and have even come to terms with my past, I don't resent, or have any hate towards anything, or anyone anymore.
I have talked to therapists, but I consider myself highly empathic, I can typically see where they're at after just a couple of questions.
I have yet to meet one who I feel will help.
The internet allows people to be more subjective, including myself, so long as I am honest, and able to discriminate good help, from bad help.
I will attempt a trip this weekend I think, I just need to look into a dose that will get me there.
Also, I am not asking per se, but how does one find Ketamine?
I'd like to avoid walking around asking strangers, but I have no idea where to start. Shrooms were hard enough, but I got lucky.
Perhaps K would be something I could make?
I made DMT years ago, but had been too scared to do a proper dose.
Again thank you, I will look into that other thread!

 

[Arnold]

Chronic pain can and will cause depression, it's a mild form called dhystimia but it makes you more likely to develop another type of depression. So you can get a double depression.

Ignoring pain means you get used to the pain, read the line above again.

Chronic pain can also be attributed to PTSD or CPTSD, none of my business what you went through when you were young or when in service but it is another avenue not to ignore.
Did you diagnose the adhd yourself?

Just google 'DMXE' sourcing ain't allowed in these forums.

Go to a rave and ask for ketamine, someone somewhere will have some.
Just don't ask coppers...

 

[Bitchniggaz]

Be careful with dissios, they are quite deceiving.

No doubt they can be useful in moderation.
But lurk around in their threads and you can read alot dark abuse stories.

Ketamine is a silent epidemic in many places.
People get stuck in deep addiction that in the end ruins lifes...

 

[Scrwd66]

Be careful with dissios, they are quite deceiving.

No doubt they can be useful in moderation.
But lurk around in their threads and you can read alot dark abuse stories.

Ketamine is a silent epidemic in many places.
People get stuck in deep addiction that in the end ruins lifes...

I get that, I am prone to addiction I think, I did however just kick alcohol. Even went to a club on new years, didn't succumb to the temptation. Didn't really have any fun either.
Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a "dissios"?

 

[Bitchniggaz]

I get that, I am prone to addiction I think, I did however just kick alcohol. Even went to a club on new years, didn't succumb to the temptation. Didn't really have any fun either.
Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a "dissios"?

Its short for dissociative.
It means drugs in the class of pcp/ketamine/dxm etc.
they are not psychedelics per se, but can be called hallucinogens Still.


Dont get me wrong, they can have a very good short term effect against depression etc.
However they are also probably the most escapist drugs that exist.

Ketamine is called psychedelic heroine for a reason.
Once it gets ahold of you it can be almost impossible to stop for some people.

So if i was to give any advice it would be to start with something more challenging and less prone for abuse.

Mushrooms is probably the best entry to psychedelics.
If you are curious about dissios then try some nitrous with the mushrooms after you have gotten some exp with them alone.

 

[Arnold]

Its short for dissociative.
It means drugs in the class of pcp/ketamine/dxm etc.
they are not psychedelics per se, but can be called hallucinogens Still.


Dont get me wrong, they can have a very good short term effect against depression etc.
However they are also probably the most escapist drugs that exist.

Ketamine is called psychedelic heroine for a reason.
Once it gets ahold of you it can be almost impossible to stop for some people.

So if i was to give any advice it would be to start with something more challenging and less prone for abuse.

Mushrooms is probably the best entry to psychedelics.
If you are curious about dissios then try some nitrous with the mushrooms after you have gotten some exp with them alone.

Also something to keep in mind is that most of the 'psychedelic heroine' users/addicts didn't use ketamine as a first drug so are/were poly drug users who could have abused one drug already.

The London illegal rave scene in the 90's was ruled by ketamine users. Not the place where you go for your first rave trust me.

The 'pain management and depression clinics' who give people IV ketamine wouldn't be in existance if they were churning out addicts by the droves.

Treat all drugs with respect or it will come and bite you in the arse.

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

Also something to keep in mind is that most of the 'psychedelic heroine' users/addicts didn't use ketamine as a first drug so are poly drug users who could have abused one drug already.

The London illegal rave scene in the 90's was ruled by ketamine users. Not the place where you go for your first rave trust me.

The 'pain management and depression clinics' who give people IV ketamine wouldn't be in existance if they were churning out addicts by the droves.

You've got a point, but pointing new users to RC dissos and thus RCs in general is bad practice imo.

Mushrooms are excellent, what helps more than anything is gaining experience.
I've never fully figured out how to let go either, for most psychedelics that isn't as much of an issue so don't worry about it. Just go with the flow and gradually increase the dose if you feel like it.

 

[Arnold]

You've got a point, but pointing new users to RC dissos and thus RCs in general is bad practice imo.

Mushrooms are excellent, what helps more than anything is gaining experience.
I've never fully figured out how to let go either, for most psychedelics that isn't as much of an issue so don't worry about it. Just go with the flow and gradually increase the dose if you feel like it.

The OP is man enough to ask for help with 'suicidal thoughts'.

There's only one drug imo and ime that will resolve that instantly.

There's loads to read in this sub forum.


Edit: Don't get me wrong I totally get your drift, I'm pointing him to something safe'ish when it comes to dosage. There are disso RC stuff in this forum where 5mg more or less can totally alter your trip yeah not even mentioning what.

 

[Bitchniggaz]

Also something to keep in mind is that most of the 'psychedelic heroine' users/addicts didn't use ketamine as a first drug so are poly drug users who could have abused one drug already.

The London illegal rave scene in the 90's was ruled by ketamine users. Not the place where you go for your first rave trust me.

The 'pain management and depression clinics' who give people IV ketamine wouldn't be in existance if they were churning out addicts by the droves.

Well big pharmas whole business modell is built on creating addiction to their products.
I do see the potential for ketamine, but i have a hard time seing they dont plan on people getting hooked.

How long has these clinics existed?
Not long enough to make any claims on their overall effect.

In worst case they will get alot more people in to a bad K habit.
And if they cut them of then there is plenty street Ket to go around.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Regarding psychedelics (rather than dissociatives)

When LSD first became popular in the late 50s and 60s there was a huge medical and scientific interest in it as a treatment for addiction (specifically alcoholism). Before research in it was basically made illegal there were a number of legit scientific studies that showed promising results (though the standard of scientific rigour used would probably not be acceptable today). Those original papers are all still searchable online and some contemporary researchers are starting up new studies looking at the same possibilities. However, modern day research seems to be more interested in looking at psychedlics as treatment for trauma, migraines, end-of-lifee anxiety than as a cure for addiciton.

My personal experience is that LSD was beneficial in beating a serious meth addiction (although I did also use a bit of ketamine in the first couple of weeks). As regards ADHD, I have a diagnosis and ws on prescribed stimulants (dex) to deal with it. Dex helped a lot, however a long period of pretty hard-core meth abuse both made the ADHD symptoms much worse and made the dex often feel less effective.

Fortunately, it seems to be (simply my individual experience) that a fair bit of LSD over a few months after I quit meth significantly improved my ADHD symptoms. Obviously not while I was actually tripping, but in the week that followed. My IQ, my memory, my executive functioning, my ability to write well, my ability to retain information from reading, construct a logical argument, apply myself to academic work etc etc all seemed to improve much more rapidly than the other times I tried to recover from meth abuse by other means. There's a fair bit of science that explains why this might be the case - basically whereas as meth destroys neuro-connectivity LSD creates novel connections in and between multiple parts of the brain that usually are not connected or limited in their connectivity.

I don't know if I would have felt such positive effects on ADHD symptoms if I was not also dealing with the damage done by meth. That is I don't know if LSD improves ADHD symptoms in isolation. However, I can say I have never read anything to suggest that it might make them worse in any way.

 

[ToriTransmundane]

There was a great book about psychedelics and mental illness! If anyone wants to check it out it's here: https://g.co/kgs/aYi87g

 

[ResolvedCore]

First thank you for your service and it sounds like you have pretty good insight and have done a lot of work in the past but are just looking to make more lasting improvements. Typically PTSD relies on avoidance to cope (amongst other things obviously) and therefore avoidance increases anxiety over time...sometimes significantly. Yet because avoidance is such a key feature, that "numb" feeling you describe often gets overlooked but I feel your pain. Physical pain is a game changer, especially for young people and can relate to it as I really messed my back up at 30 and deal with it daily. There is growing evidence that marijuana may help some struggling with PTSD. Many veterans have sworn by THC as the only thing that worked for managing their symptoms. I personally was able to slay my belly of the beast dragon with potent cookies and I have had consistent therapy throughout my life. I never "got better" despite the very good help I had. My own core issues, pride, ego, fears, insecurities, ignorance, and many other factors likely prevented my success to some degree. If THC works for you, it's possible you may notice certain thoughts tend to be louder than other thoughts. For me, it's like a "switch." It doesn't do the work for me, but it helps allow my neurochemistry to properly regulate which can slow down the clock, provide some relief physically and has drastically impacted my life. My wife is a psychiatrist and she thinks it's nothing short of amazing to see this transformation.

As odd as it sounds, Gabapentin and Lyrica may be worth looking into. Off label uses can treat depression, substance use disorders and help pain. This is a good place to get great insight so I hope you find some useful information. Hang in there.