A new social network to fix community and relationships?

[Markomarkh]

Hi all, I joined Facebook in 2007 and quit in end of 2016, I found it not a social network but an anti social network, that I think it made people lazy to see their real friends, it did with me, why phone call people when you know what they are upto through status updates and photos! I really think Mark zuckerberg has damaged the community spirit in my country and the world. When I went on Facebook first time I was expecting to meet old friends again, organise meet ups again and activities. But I got the complete opposite on fb and a shower of bs and ADS! Like this like that nonsense and became a competition who could get most friends(not real friends) and most likes! Where's the productivity in that?
Never hardly met my old friends again and fb became a waste of time!


I was thinking could there be a social network that is different to Facebook and work positive on our communities, where it is good at organising things offline and online. What I found with Facebook it hadn't updated things for years, go back 6years you wouldnt notice much difference! Is it because Mark zuckerberg can't really program or not putting money in right places. I'm sure with his money he could be doing more positive things with his social network!

Anyone know how to program a social network and could a better or perfect social network be possible?

This is a video on my experience with fb https://youtu.be/lJ1bCrzdnzA why I quit fb!

 

[Tranced]

I was thinking could there be a social network that is different to Facebook and work positive on our communities, where it is good at organising things offline and online. What I found with Facebook it hadn't updated things for years, go back 6years you wouldnt notice much difference! Is it because Mark zuckerberg can't really program or not putting money in right places. I'm sure with his money he could be doing more positive things with his social network!

Anyone know how to program a social network and could a better or perfect social network be possible?

I'd imagine that facebook is specifically designed in such a way that you keep coming back and are essentially addicted to 'connecting' to people only through their network (i.e disabling browser based messages on phones etc) in order to generate further ad revenue and massive amounts of income. In this sense I'd suggest that Zuckerberg knows exactly what he's doing, hence owning a multi-billion dollar company which is now worth more than Exxon Mobil.

As such I think that any other kind of social network probably isn't going to really cut it, and that many of them already exist... or have attempted to. I think that sociable people still go out regardless, it's just that procrastination has become a different game. If you want to use social networks for positive endeavours, then I'd imagine that the bottleneck is generally ourselves. Just limit their use to organise things outside of them instead, or phone people up/text them/meet them regularly. People won't refuse on the grounds that they need to post on facebook.

 

[pofacedhoe]

this may sound harsh but having seen the video it all makes sense.

1. you pick your nose non stop- women dont enjoy that because if someone wants to kiss you it kill the mood if you eat your boogers or draw attention to your nose.

2. you rumminate. you have funny points to make but you get stuck on a negative concept and go round and round in a circle over the same thing repeatedly but its draining for the other person cos its negative.

that makes other people feel sad. you are trying to give them your unhappy mood all the time and because of that they get fed up and really you have isolated yourself because YOU are not making the effort to be appealing to OTHERS.

no-one HAS to be your friend /girlfriend, they do so by choice.

people make their choices based upon what others offer them.

what are you offering other people? you are funny thats clear, what else are you offering? relationship is a two way street, both parties need to have reciprocal benefit for it to continue

so you need to think of how to present yourself from the point of view of what others would see and smell of you. you need to pay attention to what the other person is getting through all their senses.

even basic stuff like leaning in close to people but not washing your teeth /armpits can profoundly affect how people react to you.

a mixture of intrusive body language and poor hygiene/ strong smells makes people go off you. if you smell nice it cushions the annoyingess of autistic personal space invading without realising that sometimes occurs

you will have much better luck with people in general if you smell nice/ wash regularly and try to at least not reduce their level of happiness.

try focusing on something positive when talking to others and ask them questions about themselves even if its just for the sake of it.

remember avoid excess repitition for the sake of it, if you find yourself in a loop ask them a question about themselves

also play to your strengths- you are kind of funny without trying, play to that strength.

 

[Markomarkh]

this may sound harsh but having seen the video it all makes sense.

1. you pick your nose non stop- women dont enjoy that because if someone wants to kiss you it kill the mood if you eat your boogers or draw attention to your nose.

2. you rumminate. you have funny points to make but you get stuck on a negative concept and go round and round in a circle over the same thing repeatedly but its draining for the other person cos its negative.

that makes other people feel sad. you are trying to give them your unhappy mood all the time and because of that they get fed up and really you have isolated yourself because YOU are not making the effort to be appealing to OTHERS.

no-one HAS to be your friend /girlfriend, they do so by choice.

people make their choices based upon what others offer them.

what are you offering other people? you are funny thats clear, what else are you offering? relationship is a two way street, both parties need to have reciprocal benefit for it to continue

so you need to think of how to present yourself from the point of view of what others would see and smell of you. you need to pay attention to what the other person is getting through all their senses.

even basic stuff like leaning in close to people but not washing your teeth /armpits can profoundly affect how people react to you.

a mixture of intrusive body language and poor hygiene/ strong smells makes people go off you. if you smell nice it cushions the annoyingess of autistic personal space invading without realising that sometimes occurs

you will have much better luck with people in general if you smell nice/ wash regularly and try to at least not reduce their level of happiness.

try focusing on something positive when talking to others and ask them questions about themselves even if its just for the sake of it.

remember avoid excess repitition for the sake of it, if you find yourself in a loop ask them a question about themselves

also play to your strengths- you are kind of funny without trying, play to that strength.

Cheers for that, thank you for your complete honesty, best advice I've had all year, yes I do come across negative but what I've put up with over the years you'd understand. I'm going to work on losing weight as I've bought myself a running reebok machine from Argos, maybe that will make me feel better about myself, as exercise does help negative feelings. Think that picking nose is just a habit when I'm nervous, that can be helped. The thing is, is my negativity driving people away or am I negative because I'm alone most the time?

 

[pofacedhoe]

Cheers for that, thank you for your complete honesty, best advice I've had all year, yes I do come across negative but what I've put up with over the years you'd understand. I'm going to work on losing weight as I've bought myself a running reebok machine from Argos, maybe that will make me feel better about myself, as exercise does help negative feelings. Think that picking nose is just a habit when I'm nervous, that can be helped. The thing is, is my negativity driving people away or am I negative because I'm alone most the time?

chicken or the egg? who knows

but really i think most people feel alone a lot of the time. computers are addictive and they dont make you social, they remove that aspect by occupying your time. so even though they can be fun they are like work in that they prevent you socialising normally.

excercise does help but thats more with mood than anything else. you do feel less stressed afterwards. and that helps you to not get worked up about things

 

[oh_yeah]

Cheers for that, thank you for your complete honesty, best advice I've had all year, yes I do come across negative but what I've put up with over the years you'd understand. I'm going to work on losing weight as I've bought myself a running reebok machine from Argos, maybe that will make me feel better about myself, as exercise does help negative feelings. Think that picking nose is just a habit when I'm nervous, that can be helped. The thing is, is my negativity driving people away or am I negative because I'm alone most the time?

It seems like you're suffering from depression. Have you tried talking to your GP about what you feel.

Great step forward in getting a running machine. As well as being better for you physically and mentally, it might give you more confidence in yourself because you'll look better.

And if you want things in life, including relationships, you have to fight for them. I had to work so hard on my physical appearance and confidence to get women to even notice my existence, but it has been worth it. It's given me confidence to put my personality on display, and guess what, I'm not a bad bloke, and I'm liked for who I am. When I didn't feel physically attractive, I found it hard to let the light shine through.

In the 90's, Radiohead's 'Creep' used to be my anthem. No longer - although it's still a great song.

 

[Vastness]

You know, it is possible to use Facebook in the way you have described, to meet old friends and arrange activities. I don't deny that most people don't, and for some reason Facebook itself does not seem particularly conducive to this, but you still can do it.

Something I did quite recently was to go through my friends list, pick out people from my past that I had mostly lost touch with, and just send them a fairly open message saying something along the lines of hey I know it's been a while but it's a shame we lost touch and let me know if you wanna hang out. Not everyone responded, but I did end up reconnecting with some people I had previously been very good friends with and hadn't seen in up to 10 years, surprisingly perhaps with pretty much everyone I met it was like we had never lost touch, we really just picked up where we left off.

I would really recommend that everyone do this from time to time, especially if you are currently frustrated with the apparently unsociable nature of social media... what's the point in having hundreds or even thousands of Facebook friends if you only ever speak to a handful of them?

 

[Markomarkh]

Funny thing is with Facebook, I was looking at my friends friend lists and picking out hot girls they knew, I did find some gems and they did add me when I requested them but didn't really answer my messages when talking to them, think they are shy and don't like strange men cold calling them but add you just to be polite. When I asked my friends about these hot gals they say they didn't really know them and were just aquintances they met at work or down the pub or only seen them once. So these people with 1000s friends is mostly people they met through life once or twice and acquaintances. Think true friends most people only have about 4 or 5 they can really rely on?

 

[malakaix]

Think true friends most people only have about 4 or 5 they can really rely on?

I would say that's about the limit, beyond those numbers it's difficult to maintain a friendship that one would consider 'genuine'.

I have 2-3 people I would consider close friends and two of them live on the other side of the world. That's really where Facebook comes in. I met these two people while overseas and Facebook has allowed me to remain in regular contact. I've being chatting with one of them a couple of times a week for years. I loathe Facebook but it does provide a means to connect with people that I can't in real-life.

Since it's become so full of useless junk I've being using the FB Purity extension which allows me to remove all the bloatedness (ads, videos, trending, news, likes, shares etc) so I only see individual unique content, which is how it originally was 10 years ago.

 

[Markomarkh]

Didn't email once do that or still can, why has 2billion people brainwashed to use Facebook, biggest scam played on Internet! I'm sick of the word and mark zuckertwat! Sooner people quit the better!

 

[pofacedhoe]

SLR is not here for you to rant bile