A lot on my mind

[CabBoi50]

Hello, this may sound selfish, but its been on my mind for several weeks now, I just lost my mom back in may of 2017, she was my world, my everything, My dad committed suicide when i was 7 years old and my mother never remarried, I have 3 brothers who have disowned me because i am gay, my mother was the only one that understood me, she never judged me for who i am, i have been living with HIV since 2002, and i have suffered from depression my entire life, and this passed year has been really difficult for me, I have lost all my passions in life, lost my purpose as to why i am even still here on this earth, not having a since of belonging to anyone makes me so sad, the only real enjoyment i do have is i have a cat that loves me uncondionally and he is turning 14 this year and he does not have much time left, so i have decided that maybe its time for me to go, i want to go before i get so sick that i have to rely on someone to take care of me, i will be turning 51 this year and i am just so tired, emotionally, physically, mentally, all of the above! i just want to take a pill that will allow me to go to sleep and not wake up, i think that is the best for me right now!

thanks for listening​

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

I'm sorry to hear about that CabBoi. I'll move your post into its own thread in The Dark Side, it's a forum that deals with peoples struggles/hardships. You'll find very warm and welcome responses there.

 

[Mafioso]

That's a lot to be dealing with, I'm sure it can't be easy. Is there anyone who you can talk about these things with in person? I don't know what it's like to live in your shoes, but I can relate to feeling ostracized from society and worse, family. I've always found comfort with the outcasts. Just because youre lonely doesn't mean you have to be alone.


Do you ever paint or do any art? Some of the my favorite are has been done by people in great pain.