explodinguniverse
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2014
- Messages
- 37
My Girlfriends Trip Report from last weekend. English is her second language. 8(
I had my first experience with LSD at a Doof party 2 days ago. I just wanted a mild trip and took only half a dose (I was unsure of the dosage though). After a pleasant coming up, I felt really comfortable with it and enjoyed the decorations and artworks at the party a lot. Having taken the LSD pretty early, my boyfriend and I started to come down and he proposed a top up with 20mg of 4-AcO-DMT. We went back to the party and felt nothing for a while. We took 40mg more and layed down at our camp.
Soon after I felt the chemicals exploding in my brain. Really strong visuals and a feeling of weakness in my body followed. I just had to wait for the coming up to be over, give it some time and I would be fine. But I couldn’t help but wondering if that was just the 20mg, or the other 40mg that followed. Not looking forward to another explosion in my brain, I thought about making myself vomit, but it was too late.
We were in the tent in the dark and the visuals increased in intensity and became somewhat scary. I looked at my boyfriend’s face and it was just a void, a whirlpool of darkness. I tried to ignore the hallucination and see his real face again, but just ended up with thin strips of skin and hair organised around an empty shell.
I knew I was safe physically with this dose and repeated to myself “You’re alright, give it some time, you’re going to calm down soon, try to enjoy it.”
I then drank some water. The moisture in my mouth tasted like blood. I got up and went to the car to have some light to check if I was bleeding or not and saw some red on my hands. I felt like I was just about to vomit all my organs. My boyfriend reassured me that I looked fine and told me I was not bleeding at all.
We laid down again, in the tent. I closed my eyes and tried to set my mind on a more enjoyable place. My thought started to loop around “You just have to wait, you’re not as stoned as you think you are, you’re safe” and this happened over and over again. I was conscience of the loop but couldn’t get out of it. or think about anything else. What if it wasn’t a loop of thought but a loop of time, and I was going to be stuck in the same 30 seconds forever, what if the world clock moving forward without me? I had to check, move, or do something to break the loop. I sat up and my boyfriend asked me if something was wrong, “No.” I said and I laid down again. I then continued to loop as before, but added to the loop was now me sitting up to break the loop and my boyfriend asking me if I was okay and laying down again.
The idea then struck me, really clear, that I was dying, that’s why I was in a loop, and I just had to accept it. I said it out loud and everything made sense. I fought the idea for a while, trying to focus on real things that had happened to me before, trying to connect myself with reality. My last job, the people I worked with, the drive to the party. But the notion of time didn’t make any sense. I was just there, and the past didn’t exist because it was present as well. The notion of duration was annihilated. I tried to remember my flight to Australia, my boyfriend’s daughter (thinking that he might find it funny that she had been one of my last anchors with reality)
But reality was fading away no matter what, so I accepted it. Thinking “You are not going to die everyday, so you may as well enjoy it.”.
I then saw glimpses of my past, I saw myself on the plane to Australia. It was happening in both the past and the present. As this happened time became heavy and closed in around me, until my trip on the plane never existed at all. Then I saw myself working, then I saw myself driving to the party and watched these glimpses of my past reality erased from my life by time. I saw time like air, but heavy and oppressive. Time was contracting around me and when time reached me I then saw my body as an empty shell, starting to rot, but it didn’t matter.
When time reached the inside my head, there was a door that was a big spiral of colours. I entered and found myself in a different reality as I passed beyond time. I was light because I no longer had the weight of time, as it no longer existed. The place beyond time was more beautiful. When you are dead it was obvious that everything should be more beautiful. I was no longer in my body, but in a different place.
I could still hear the music and remember people, but they were all out of my reach in a parallel place. I felt lucky and unique. I had some amusing thoughts about how ridiculous my past reality had been, and how irrelevant and futile mine and others past experiences and concerns were. I felt like I had a perfect understanding of what really mattered.
My boyfriend appeared to me in this new reality, we were in the same parallel place than before, but somewhat different. A place out of time, or maybe after time, as if nothing existed, the whole universe was just the ultimate trip and he had invited me to share it with him. Everything was just perfect and pleasurable, but nothing existed, neither time or space. We were the only people in existence and all the rest were just an illusion, the perfect illusion where nothing was wrong, calculated to be perfect.
We were laying down together in the forest out of time. My boyfriend told me “It’s interesting what your brain can do” He was talking about reality. The whole universe was just an incarnation of my brain. And now that I had left it, I could see the whole picture. Observing it from the outside. I was sceptical, but my boyfriend explained it to me by putting images in my head. I saw people tripping throughout history and was able see what they were seeing in an altered state, and I knew that they were a part of me. I saw people loving and dying, and I was all those people as well. I was everybody, and everybody was the same entity. We were all in the same moment, because there were no other places or moments that existed.
My boyfriend showed me our house and I saw myself having sex. It didn’t make any sense and disappeared. It was just about love. The love I felt right now, and everything else was just an illusion. Even language didn’t exist, every piece of what had been my reality was deconstructed as I could see all the mechanisms of it.
It was obvious to me that I was not stoned anymore, but in fact dying. I was seeing these visuals not due to an altered state of a drug, but because I was going through the process of death.
My perception now, was that my current state, where time and space no longer existed was the true reality. My old reality where time and space existed, only existed because I had taken a drug to create that reality. The old reality could be returned to by taking another dose, and that perfect drug could create a whole universe where time, space and ego existed. You would take the drug to return to the space time universe just for recreation and entertainment.
At this point I opened my eyes and realised that my real boyfriend was worried about me. He didn’t know at all that I was about to die. I felt so sorry for him, and sad and guilt to leave him to deal with my death.
I bit my lips and a bit of flesh came off, it was due to dehydration, but at the time I just saw it as a confirmation the my body had started to rot. There was no doubt in my mind that I was in fact dying.
I wanted help all of a sudden because I didn’t want to leave him with the guilt of my death.
I was really in a panic, so he took me to the red cross. The nurses tried to reassure me that I would be okay, but nothing they said made any sense to me. There was no tomorrow for me. I was already cold and I had trouble breathing.
I don’t know how it stopped, but it was really sudden. I just calmed down and my visuals, that up to this point had been really strong, became subtle. I was back to reality.
I had my first experience with LSD at a Doof party 2 days ago. I just wanted a mild trip and took only half a dose (I was unsure of the dosage though). After a pleasant coming up, I felt really comfortable with it and enjoyed the decorations and artworks at the party a lot. Having taken the LSD pretty early, my boyfriend and I started to come down and he proposed a top up with 20mg of 4-AcO-DMT. We went back to the party and felt nothing for a while. We took 40mg more and layed down at our camp.
Soon after I felt the chemicals exploding in my brain. Really strong visuals and a feeling of weakness in my body followed. I just had to wait for the coming up to be over, give it some time and I would be fine. But I couldn’t help but wondering if that was just the 20mg, or the other 40mg that followed. Not looking forward to another explosion in my brain, I thought about making myself vomit, but it was too late.
We were in the tent in the dark and the visuals increased in intensity and became somewhat scary. I looked at my boyfriend’s face and it was just a void, a whirlpool of darkness. I tried to ignore the hallucination and see his real face again, but just ended up with thin strips of skin and hair organised around an empty shell.
I knew I was safe physically with this dose and repeated to myself “You’re alright, give it some time, you’re going to calm down soon, try to enjoy it.”
I then drank some water. The moisture in my mouth tasted like blood. I got up and went to the car to have some light to check if I was bleeding or not and saw some red on my hands. I felt like I was just about to vomit all my organs. My boyfriend reassured me that I looked fine and told me I was not bleeding at all.
We laid down again, in the tent. I closed my eyes and tried to set my mind on a more enjoyable place. My thought started to loop around “You just have to wait, you’re not as stoned as you think you are, you’re safe” and this happened over and over again. I was conscience of the loop but couldn’t get out of it. or think about anything else. What if it wasn’t a loop of thought but a loop of time, and I was going to be stuck in the same 30 seconds forever, what if the world clock moving forward without me? I had to check, move, or do something to break the loop. I sat up and my boyfriend asked me if something was wrong, “No.” I said and I laid down again. I then continued to loop as before, but added to the loop was now me sitting up to break the loop and my boyfriend asking me if I was okay and laying down again.
The idea then struck me, really clear, that I was dying, that’s why I was in a loop, and I just had to accept it. I said it out loud and everything made sense. I fought the idea for a while, trying to focus on real things that had happened to me before, trying to connect myself with reality. My last job, the people I worked with, the drive to the party. But the notion of time didn’t make any sense. I was just there, and the past didn’t exist because it was present as well. The notion of duration was annihilated. I tried to remember my flight to Australia, my boyfriend’s daughter (thinking that he might find it funny that she had been one of my last anchors with reality)
But reality was fading away no matter what, so I accepted it. Thinking “You are not going to die everyday, so you may as well enjoy it.”.
I then saw glimpses of my past, I saw myself on the plane to Australia. It was happening in both the past and the present. As this happened time became heavy and closed in around me, until my trip on the plane never existed at all. Then I saw myself working, then I saw myself driving to the party and watched these glimpses of my past reality erased from my life by time. I saw time like air, but heavy and oppressive. Time was contracting around me and when time reached me I then saw my body as an empty shell, starting to rot, but it didn’t matter.
When time reached the inside my head, there was a door that was a big spiral of colours. I entered and found myself in a different reality as I passed beyond time. I was light because I no longer had the weight of time, as it no longer existed. The place beyond time was more beautiful. When you are dead it was obvious that everything should be more beautiful. I was no longer in my body, but in a different place.
I could still hear the music and remember people, but they were all out of my reach in a parallel place. I felt lucky and unique. I had some amusing thoughts about how ridiculous my past reality had been, and how irrelevant and futile mine and others past experiences and concerns were. I felt like I had a perfect understanding of what really mattered.
My boyfriend appeared to me in this new reality, we were in the same parallel place than before, but somewhat different. A place out of time, or maybe after time, as if nothing existed, the whole universe was just the ultimate trip and he had invited me to share it with him. Everything was just perfect and pleasurable, but nothing existed, neither time or space. We were the only people in existence and all the rest were just an illusion, the perfect illusion where nothing was wrong, calculated to be perfect.
We were laying down together in the forest out of time. My boyfriend told me “It’s interesting what your brain can do” He was talking about reality. The whole universe was just an incarnation of my brain. And now that I had left it, I could see the whole picture. Observing it from the outside. I was sceptical, but my boyfriend explained it to me by putting images in my head. I saw people tripping throughout history and was able see what they were seeing in an altered state, and I knew that they were a part of me. I saw people loving and dying, and I was all those people as well. I was everybody, and everybody was the same entity. We were all in the same moment, because there were no other places or moments that existed.
My boyfriend showed me our house and I saw myself having sex. It didn’t make any sense and disappeared. It was just about love. The love I felt right now, and everything else was just an illusion. Even language didn’t exist, every piece of what had been my reality was deconstructed as I could see all the mechanisms of it.
It was obvious to me that I was not stoned anymore, but in fact dying. I was seeing these visuals not due to an altered state of a drug, but because I was going through the process of death.
My perception now, was that my current state, where time and space no longer existed was the true reality. My old reality where time and space existed, only existed because I had taken a drug to create that reality. The old reality could be returned to by taking another dose, and that perfect drug could create a whole universe where time, space and ego existed. You would take the drug to return to the space time universe just for recreation and entertainment.
At this point I opened my eyes and realised that my real boyfriend was worried about me. He didn’t know at all that I was about to die. I felt so sorry for him, and sad and guilt to leave him to deal with my death.
I bit my lips and a bit of flesh came off, it was due to dehydration, but at the time I just saw it as a confirmation the my body had started to rot. There was no doubt in my mind that I was in fact dying.
I wanted help all of a sudden because I didn’t want to leave him with the guilt of my death.
I was really in a panic, so he took me to the red cross. The nurses tried to reassure me that I would be okay, but nothing they said made any sense to me. There was no tomorrow for me. I was already cold and I had trouble breathing.
I don’t know how it stopped, but it was really sudden. I just calmed down and my visuals, that up to this point had been really strong, became subtle. I was back to reality.