intensecycle
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2011
- Messages
- 110
TR 4-HO-MET #3 and MXE #5
Title: Trypt gentleness and MXE confident roboticness
Substance: 4-HO-MET, Methoxetamine 4 hours later
Dosage: 40 mg fumarate dissolved in warm water oral, 15 mg MXE sublingual, 20 mg MXE insufflateda
Personal data Male, 85kg, 178 cm, 27 years old , athletic, exercise daily, but some back pains and undiagnosed ADHD and cyclothymic (slightly bipolar)
Medications and addictions: none except vitamins.
Set & Setting: Weekend, morning, 4 hours at home, then 2 hours at festival/city holiday, then 4 hours at friend's house, good mood, no life problems
Rating: 9/10
Previous experiences:
* 2C-C (x2)
* 2C-D (x1)
* 4-ACO-DMT (x1)
* 4-HO-MET (x2)
* 5-APB (x1)
* Alprazolam (x2)
* Amphetamine (x1)
* DOC (x3)
* DOI (x1)
* Dichloropane (x2)
* Etizolam (x3)
* Kratom (x4)
* LSD (x1)
* Methoxetamine (x4)
* Methylone (x3)
* Modafinil (1 week)
* Shrooms (x3)
* Salvia (x1)
* Weed and hash (many times)
Substance appearance: pure a bit fluffy white powder (4-HO-MET), pure non-sticky and non-fluffy white powder (MXE)
Closest previous trip: DOC 4mg week before
Tolerance: None
Sensitivity: Low
Addiction potential: low for 4-HO-MET, average for MXE
Main effects: colors enhancement, euphoria, interest and awe, easy but nice CEVs, slight ego loss, dissociation, confidence, robotic environment and senses, stimulation
Side effects: some slight body load, overconfident decisions, got a cold next day
After effects: afterglow for days with elevated mood, conversations are pleasant
Shulgin scale: *** for both substances
Please note, at T +05:00 starts second part about MXE, it may be more interesting to you if you know 4-HO-MET effects or just interested only in MXE.
T 00:00
In the morning, I dissolved 40 mg 4-HO-MET fumarate in warm water and drank it, my GF did the same with 30 mg. Taste is chemical, but not very harsh.
T +00:30
We are staring at flatscreen TV, looking at slideshow of textures of wood, stone, etc, trying to find first manifestations of a trip. Textures were slightly floating, but not yet distinguishable from placebo.
T +00:40
“Floating” of textures increases; you can almost say it is not placebo anymore. Sense of hearing increases too. We feel perfectly normal and can handle casual conversation. Mood is nice, I am expecting moderate to strong trip, but because I already feel quite experienced in psychs, I don't worry a little bit. I even don't worry about my GF, who is not experienced, because I know 4-HO-MET is very nice and gentle substance, and she knows what to expect, because I described it to her many times in details. We are with perfect set and setting, at home, without any problems in relationship or our lives, and loving each other. We start to peak in next ten minutes, with peak reaching highest point in T 01:00.
T +01:00
I turn on movie “Life in a day” that I saw last week under DOC and liked it. I think it is good idea to watch it till to go through possible anxiety on come-up for my GF.
At this time, something causes my GF to cry, but I look at the LCD screen and did not notice for a while. When I noticed, I chosen not to react, remembering how she cried at the beginning of our methylone experience. Instead, I was waiting a little and watching a movie. When especially nice moment in movie approaches, I turn to her and say “Look at this”. Her face is still covered in tears, but she looks at the screen with interest and very soon forgets she was crying, looking in awe. Later she told me, she experienced ego loss, I felt like only I exist, not herself, and this scared her like hell.
When she tried to watch the movie, she was barely able to understand what's going on at first, only seeing picture or reading subtitles, but not both. Even subtitles were hard to read (in our native language) for her, because letters were jumping and curving out of place. I read them without any difficulty, though, looking at the picture simultaneously.
Sometime after, I stopped the movie and we went to the kitchen, where I have my nice textured cupboard I use as “pattern intensity” standard model, because I know very well how it looks plain and under influence. Marble tile on the floor also serves the same purpose. While cupboard usually demonstrates us wicker or small insects that crawl over grating type of visuals, tile shows something like huge snowflakes embedded in floor in transparent layers, like in quartz. My GF have seen something like I describe, but not quite. It was in her own, unique way.
T +02:00
After this, we closed our eyes trying to see CEV. They were very slight, colored something in the dark. Then, we went to bathroom and WC to see tile there. In WC, plain white door also had “patterns”, but barely visible, because I believe they are generated from existing texture's points and lines, as probably everyone who taken psychs already knows. Wooden cupboard door was also nice, when annual growth rings dark colors pulse and extend. In bathroom, green/light blue marble with strong streaks made whole wall pulse for me. Then we turned off the light and shut the door. In this case, I saw slight lines, polygons and dots spread in the space around me. My GF seen the same, but her visual were so strong; they illuminated whole room like a lamp. Instead of green red and blue colors in the darkness, she saw bright colored lines with white light. Obviously, her 30mg dose was stronger for her, than 40mg was for me. This was nice experience, and we were able to discuss it then, because our mind already was able to communicate at this point.
T +03:00
We finished to watch movie and had nothing else to do, visuals was not of much fun anymore, because they become much weaker, at least for me. We had a little sexual play, it felt pretty strange, but interesting. Almost no problems with erection or arousal, in spite of us having a lot of sex previous day.
T +03:20
We decide to go outdoors, to the city festival/celebration of the beginning of spring. I decide that 4-HO-MET is almost worn out. I decide that we can supplement with something else, not very hard on mind, when it's possible to act in public, but in a way that by the time we get to the place it should already peak out. I have spare Methoxetamine laying around, I am experienced with it in small amounts, and I consider it light and easily handled when used in amounts below 25mg. So, we dose sublingually 15mg each.
T +03:30
We left apartment, in hope walking to the festival using our feet, but returned, because I forgot to take my phone. So, we took a bus instead, to get there in time.
My decision to take Methoxetamine was perfectly right for me, because I felt very comfortable already, almost on baseline, and MXE (Methoxetamine) just added a little warmness and push to my senses.
But for my GF, 4-HO-MET was still working, and it was her first experience with psychs in public, so MXE was a bit too much. But she insisted she wants to do it, and I decided that there is little risk if she is with me. Lately I became pretty familiar with psychs in public, and I don't feel even slightest worry when walking or interacting intoxicated.
Anyway, when MXE started to act, patterns returned, and become powerful again. Everything around felt very strange for her. She started to freak out a little, thinking people staring at her. Luckily, with me she feels pretty confident, so it was not visible from the outside.
When we got to the bus, she started another freak out episode, thinking she will piss herself and will not notice it. So, she constantly checked her pants and if people looking at her legs. She was not able told me this back then, because bus was full, and because it was hard for her to speak and formulate her thoughts. It was very unpleasant experience for her, and in part I caused it. A bit before I told her that physical processes like breathing could be felt on conscious level when under influence, and you sometimes feel like you need to control them, although they will work automatically, obviously.
Also, while on the bus, she had strong audio distortions and was not able to understand what people around are speaking about. I don't think it was possible even sober, because this background dialog is usually too quiet and incomprehensible, but she insisted she usually can understand at least separate words, but during this trip, nothing at all, just some noisy babbling and murmuring.
T +04:30
We got to the place where “beginning of spring” celebration/city holiday/festival almost started. Girlfriend was not sure, if she wants to pee or not, but we went to public WC anyway to calm her. Unfortunately, that did not help, because she was confused, not able to understand, which booth to take, and just washed her hands and went out. Meanwhile, I decided that I need to supplement more MXE, so I also went inside men WC and insufflated 20+ mg. This was very easy and painless; I did not feel any chemical taste or burning. I think it was harder a little bit previous times, with not that pure MXE.
Unfortunately, while I was doing this, my GF was already out of WC, and was very scared and confused, not able to do understand, where I went. I thought I will be able to get back quickly, but did not account that she will not be able to get into the booth and will return at once. So, she started to call her friends, but luckily, I returned quickly and calmed her down. She trusts me very much, and this really helped her during most unpleasant moments of the trip.
After the experience, I assured her, that no matter what happens during our experiences with me, I never forget I need to care for her and make sure she is ok. I certainly believe this is the case, because it was always so and I see no reason to think otherwise. Sure, I can be too deep into ego loss/hallucinations, but when this will pass, I certainly will be back with care, because I think it is so strongly embedded in me, it will manifest itself any time I will be able to think and act.
Next, we went to the supermarket to buy some drink, because I was afraid of dehydration, and some food, because we had not any food from the previous evening. Navigating in supermarket was easy, but understanding how much food I need and what prices mean was not. I was thinking that bun I want to buy costs too little, but I was not able to understand/read price well. Anyway, I bought few buns and small bottle baked milk, forgetting to buy more mineral water/etc.
My GF told me during this time: “It was better for me to stay at home. I don't understand what I'm doing and if I look normal. Do we really act and look normal?”. I assured her we do, and indeed we were. Also, she reported very strong audio distortions in “rewind/fast forward” style.
After buying goods, we headed back to the celebration square, where folk bands were playing loudly; people were eating holiday treats and dancing a little. It was pretty cold and rainy, but my mood was pretty nice almost all the time, with short episodes of uneasy body load/anxiety quirks. But they had more to do with body load, not with anxiety from being intoxicated in public.
T +05:00 (MXE PART)
Here, I will be more detailed, because it is probably the most interesting part and is specific to MXE effects. I think somewhere around here, I peaked from my recent 20+ mg dosage, and it kicked in quite strong.
Some history: I used MXE four times before this, but from different batch. It was 10mg sublingual, 23+23+55mg sublingual, 20mg insufflated, 23 mg rectal.
Most times I did not like it much: I find it is too alcohol-like, mind-clogging and did not find dissociation pleasant. Euphoria often reported from MXE seems to be something else for me; I would not call it euphoria.
But this time, it was a bit different and better. Effects were familiar, but I felt and experienced them in a different way. I felt slight body numbness, some lack of movement coordination, stimulation. We also met my friend Panda (see prev. reports) and hanged with him from now on (he was sober).
First, I found that for me, MXE in low dosages (less then 25mg, better 10 mg even) works really well when I'm in social settings, having conversations, looking and doing simple things like watching/enjoying party/etc. Music sounds too loud and because of that unpleasant. I was not able to enjoy all details and hear all separate instruments like I do on weed/4-HO-MET/DOC/5-MeO-MiPT. I imagine MXE effect to music more opiate-like (never tried them), when sounds blend together and you can enjoy overall impression, not separate, surround and spacey beautiful tones and tunes. But for me, this way of enjoying music for some reason does not work.
Second, and pretty important thing, is that under MXE I become really confident, brave, socially open and can interact easily with everyone around. Possibly, more than with any other drug, including alcohol and DOC (where I have seen same effect). I have zero social anxiety and worries about being intoxicated in public. This is probably related to dissociation and fact how I perceive people on MXE, which is explained below.
Third, people on MXE for more become more like abstract concepts, aka E.T.s or robots. I still act perfectly socially acceptable and not violently/etc, because I am kind of lawful person inside. But when interacting with new or known people on MXE I don't care all usual things we do, things like proper tone in your voice, smiling and reacting to other people jokes, making proper facial expressions in response of their emotions (being sad when they are sad, etc). I also stop account for their shyness and comfortableness in talking/joining activities.
For example, two girls from organizers approached us to tell there is small contest happening near the stage and if we want to join. For me they were like Martians asking me to get into their UFO so they could probe and research me using their alien equipment. And without any doubts I quickly agreed. I think, with MXE, I could have done the same if actual Martians were asking me.
I also thought about that to interact socially, all usual emotional stuff is nice, but not required: if people share common goal and really want to do something, they can handle it even without social lubrication.
BTW, contest was quick food-eating and I easily won, because I felt strong stimulation from MXE and was able to move my teeth and jaws very fast.
I think my confidence based on these thoughts. First, if I am not under influence, I feel the need to act proper and “conform”. When intoxicated, I feel like I cannot conform to rules properly, so I just can do as I like, without troubling others obviously. Also, I understood sometime during my trips, that people in my country have no idea about any drugs except booze and rarely weed, so for any weird behavior they will think: “He is drank” and will not notice it at all. Even if they will see very strange behavior, the most they will do is turn away, because people are introvert here and like to mind their own business. In the worst-case scenario (I cannot imagine it, really) they will report me to authorities, but local police have no idea about RCs and will not be able to test for them. After understanding this, I feel very relaxed outdoors, even after taking some stuff.
During our hanging around square we saw few buddies, and had a chats with them. Panda was constantly looking for more of them, but when found, was reluctant to interact, because he still has a lot of problems with his shyness and self-esteem, although psychs seem to help him fix it a little. I brought him some MXE too, because I think it works for this well, but he is too cautious and afraid to use it in public. Anyway, I introduced him to few more people he already knew on-line, but for this I had to literally drag him using force. It was piece a cake, because I am pretty big and tough guy, and Panda is slim.
There were also people in costumes and with wild make-up in the crowd, and they scared my GF a lot at first. After a while she adjusted to it, though. It was easier for her to walk around, and not to stand in one place, watching. For me it was ok any way.
T +06:30
Celebration came to an end. I ate some fatty and meaty food given for free to the visitors, had not much appetite, but decided it is good idea anyway. GF did not eat anything from the morning.
We got a call from the Coyote (see prev. trip reports) inviting us to visit him, and headed to his house with his female friend we met earlier. Because I had some trouble finding right words when speaking and overall was concerned with fact that surroundings are interesting and surreal, and not conversation, she thought that my native language we were speaking in is not actually native for me.
I, in turn, thought that she speaks with accent. Neither of this was true, obviously.
Soon we got to the Coyote's house. He was at home with wife and little kid. He made us some tea and snacks. From now on, my trip starts to slowly fade away, with very enjoyable afterglow. Listening to others becomes pleasant, more so then speaking myself. Feelings of relaxation and warmness grow in me. All of us are feeling very comfortable and nice, conversation flows easily and slowly.
Coyote prepares some strong herbal liquor for us (52 degrees strong). I think it will not hurt on the tail of MXE experience. My girlfriend is almost on baseline already, her anxiety is gone, so she decides to drink some too.
This liquor feels nice, but makes me somewhat too relaxed and floored on the coach. It dislike alcohol for this very reason: I become too sleepy and feel like a worm or slug.
But time passes quickly and I experience strong pleasant afterglow from MXE/4-HO-MET anyway, like I always do. I think it is even stronger now, because it is weaker from me from either of these substances separately. We watched some stuff on YouTube, played with Coyote's kid, discussed his trip to ski resort, which impressed him insanely. His tale of extreme skiing without much experience goes straight to my heart, like previous tales about adventures I heard on MXE. I still remember these tales as magnificent and impressive.
T +10:00
We have vegetarian dinner, it feels very tasty and effects of alcohol seem to fade. We watch some B-movie I find boring and senseless, say bye to Coyote and head home. I decide to visit public swimming pool, my favorite place any day. I can go there anytime, because I have special subscription, and I use this right often, esp. on the tail of drug experience: this helps to smooth end of experience and remove hangover, get rid of excessive stimulation, and go to sleep easier. My GF heads to her friends and drinks some champagne there.
In the swimming pool I experience sense of perfect harmony/happiness, love to my GF and my parents. But after swimming easily for a long time (thanks to stim properties of MXE), I find I don't like how my body behaves and responds to physical exercise. When I left pool, still some uneasy body load was present, and it caused a little of mental anxiety.
T +12:00
I had some trouble getting to sleep, even with my usual after-trip melatonin pill, but managed to do this after some half an hour or so. Sleep was somewhat troubled.
Summary
4-HO-MET confirmed itself again as recreational, comfy and beautiful, good for beginners. Even with that, is caused some anxiety on come-up for my inexperienced GF, so beware. I still haven't reached my maximum dosage with it, next time I will try 50mg of fumarate no doubt.
Methoxetamine is whole other beast. I understand its character much better after 5 trips, and also find pleasure in it, finally. Never was able to enjoy it really before now, but it seems that combining with tryptamine even after its main exp already finished is a way to go. I wonder of powerful effects of MXE+Tryptamines combined at once, I read about these combinations and they sound tempting.
Also, I am not sure if this is related, but I got a cold next day, and my physical state for the next few days was not a best. Nevertheless, my mental state is amazing: I felt very upbeat, optimistic, my love to my GF and appreciation of her beauty and support increased tenfold, working was easy and enjoyable.
I don't know if to attribute this to properties of 4-HO-MET or MXE, they both seem to give me mood improving afterglow, although, before with MXE it was more apparent in the evening of dosage day, not next days, and with 4-HO-MET - the other way round. This time substances seemed to combine their afterglows, so my mood and state at the evening was mostly amazing (except some mildly unpleasant body load), next day it was ok, and days after that great again.
Title: Trypt gentleness and MXE confident roboticness
Substance: 4-HO-MET, Methoxetamine 4 hours later
Dosage: 40 mg fumarate dissolved in warm water oral, 15 mg MXE sublingual, 20 mg MXE insufflateda
Personal data Male, 85kg, 178 cm, 27 years old , athletic, exercise daily, but some back pains and undiagnosed ADHD and cyclothymic (slightly bipolar)
Medications and addictions: none except vitamins.
Set & Setting: Weekend, morning, 4 hours at home, then 2 hours at festival/city holiday, then 4 hours at friend's house, good mood, no life problems
Rating: 9/10
Previous experiences:
* 2C-C (x2)
* 2C-D (x1)
* 4-ACO-DMT (x1)
* 4-HO-MET (x2)
* 5-APB (x1)
* Alprazolam (x2)
* Amphetamine (x1)
* DOC (x3)
* DOI (x1)
* Dichloropane (x2)
* Etizolam (x3)
* Kratom (x4)
* LSD (x1)
* Methoxetamine (x4)
* Methylone (x3)
* Modafinil (1 week)
* Shrooms (x3)
* Salvia (x1)
* Weed and hash (many times)
Substance appearance: pure a bit fluffy white powder (4-HO-MET), pure non-sticky and non-fluffy white powder (MXE)
Closest previous trip: DOC 4mg week before
Tolerance: None
Sensitivity: Low
Addiction potential: low for 4-HO-MET, average for MXE
Main effects: colors enhancement, euphoria, interest and awe, easy but nice CEVs, slight ego loss, dissociation, confidence, robotic environment and senses, stimulation
Side effects: some slight body load, overconfident decisions, got a cold next day
After effects: afterglow for days with elevated mood, conversations are pleasant
Shulgin scale: *** for both substances
Please note, at T +05:00 starts second part about MXE, it may be more interesting to you if you know 4-HO-MET effects or just interested only in MXE.
T 00:00
In the morning, I dissolved 40 mg 4-HO-MET fumarate in warm water and drank it, my GF did the same with 30 mg. Taste is chemical, but not very harsh.
T +00:30
We are staring at flatscreen TV, looking at slideshow of textures of wood, stone, etc, trying to find first manifestations of a trip. Textures were slightly floating, but not yet distinguishable from placebo.
T +00:40
“Floating” of textures increases; you can almost say it is not placebo anymore. Sense of hearing increases too. We feel perfectly normal and can handle casual conversation. Mood is nice, I am expecting moderate to strong trip, but because I already feel quite experienced in psychs, I don't worry a little bit. I even don't worry about my GF, who is not experienced, because I know 4-HO-MET is very nice and gentle substance, and she knows what to expect, because I described it to her many times in details. We are with perfect set and setting, at home, without any problems in relationship or our lives, and loving each other. We start to peak in next ten minutes, with peak reaching highest point in T 01:00.
T +01:00
I turn on movie “Life in a day” that I saw last week under DOC and liked it. I think it is good idea to watch it till to go through possible anxiety on come-up for my GF.
At this time, something causes my GF to cry, but I look at the LCD screen and did not notice for a while. When I noticed, I chosen not to react, remembering how she cried at the beginning of our methylone experience. Instead, I was waiting a little and watching a movie. When especially nice moment in movie approaches, I turn to her and say “Look at this”. Her face is still covered in tears, but she looks at the screen with interest and very soon forgets she was crying, looking in awe. Later she told me, she experienced ego loss, I felt like only I exist, not herself, and this scared her like hell.
When she tried to watch the movie, she was barely able to understand what's going on at first, only seeing picture or reading subtitles, but not both. Even subtitles were hard to read (in our native language) for her, because letters were jumping and curving out of place. I read them without any difficulty, though, looking at the picture simultaneously.
Sometime after, I stopped the movie and we went to the kitchen, where I have my nice textured cupboard I use as “pattern intensity” standard model, because I know very well how it looks plain and under influence. Marble tile on the floor also serves the same purpose. While cupboard usually demonstrates us wicker or small insects that crawl over grating type of visuals, tile shows something like huge snowflakes embedded in floor in transparent layers, like in quartz. My GF have seen something like I describe, but not quite. It was in her own, unique way.
T +02:00
After this, we closed our eyes trying to see CEV. They were very slight, colored something in the dark. Then, we went to bathroom and WC to see tile there. In WC, plain white door also had “patterns”, but barely visible, because I believe they are generated from existing texture's points and lines, as probably everyone who taken psychs already knows. Wooden cupboard door was also nice, when annual growth rings dark colors pulse and extend. In bathroom, green/light blue marble with strong streaks made whole wall pulse for me. Then we turned off the light and shut the door. In this case, I saw slight lines, polygons and dots spread in the space around me. My GF seen the same, but her visual were so strong; they illuminated whole room like a lamp. Instead of green red and blue colors in the darkness, she saw bright colored lines with white light. Obviously, her 30mg dose was stronger for her, than 40mg was for me. This was nice experience, and we were able to discuss it then, because our mind already was able to communicate at this point.
T +03:00
We finished to watch movie and had nothing else to do, visuals was not of much fun anymore, because they become much weaker, at least for me. We had a little sexual play, it felt pretty strange, but interesting. Almost no problems with erection or arousal, in spite of us having a lot of sex previous day.
T +03:20
We decide to go outdoors, to the city festival/celebration of the beginning of spring. I decide that 4-HO-MET is almost worn out. I decide that we can supplement with something else, not very hard on mind, when it's possible to act in public, but in a way that by the time we get to the place it should already peak out. I have spare Methoxetamine laying around, I am experienced with it in small amounts, and I consider it light and easily handled when used in amounts below 25mg. So, we dose sublingually 15mg each.
T +03:30
We left apartment, in hope walking to the festival using our feet, but returned, because I forgot to take my phone. So, we took a bus instead, to get there in time.
My decision to take Methoxetamine was perfectly right for me, because I felt very comfortable already, almost on baseline, and MXE (Methoxetamine) just added a little warmness and push to my senses.
But for my GF, 4-HO-MET was still working, and it was her first experience with psychs in public, so MXE was a bit too much. But she insisted she wants to do it, and I decided that there is little risk if she is with me. Lately I became pretty familiar with psychs in public, and I don't feel even slightest worry when walking or interacting intoxicated.
Anyway, when MXE started to act, patterns returned, and become powerful again. Everything around felt very strange for her. She started to freak out a little, thinking people staring at her. Luckily, with me she feels pretty confident, so it was not visible from the outside.
When we got to the bus, she started another freak out episode, thinking she will piss herself and will not notice it. So, she constantly checked her pants and if people looking at her legs. She was not able told me this back then, because bus was full, and because it was hard for her to speak and formulate her thoughts. It was very unpleasant experience for her, and in part I caused it. A bit before I told her that physical processes like breathing could be felt on conscious level when under influence, and you sometimes feel like you need to control them, although they will work automatically, obviously.
Also, while on the bus, she had strong audio distortions and was not able to understand what people around are speaking about. I don't think it was possible even sober, because this background dialog is usually too quiet and incomprehensible, but she insisted she usually can understand at least separate words, but during this trip, nothing at all, just some noisy babbling and murmuring.
T +04:30
We got to the place where “beginning of spring” celebration/city holiday/festival almost started. Girlfriend was not sure, if she wants to pee or not, but we went to public WC anyway to calm her. Unfortunately, that did not help, because she was confused, not able to understand, which booth to take, and just washed her hands and went out. Meanwhile, I decided that I need to supplement more MXE, so I also went inside men WC and insufflated 20+ mg. This was very easy and painless; I did not feel any chemical taste or burning. I think it was harder a little bit previous times, with not that pure MXE.
Unfortunately, while I was doing this, my GF was already out of WC, and was very scared and confused, not able to do understand, where I went. I thought I will be able to get back quickly, but did not account that she will not be able to get into the booth and will return at once. So, she started to call her friends, but luckily, I returned quickly and calmed her down. She trusts me very much, and this really helped her during most unpleasant moments of the trip.
After the experience, I assured her, that no matter what happens during our experiences with me, I never forget I need to care for her and make sure she is ok. I certainly believe this is the case, because it was always so and I see no reason to think otherwise. Sure, I can be too deep into ego loss/hallucinations, but when this will pass, I certainly will be back with care, because I think it is so strongly embedded in me, it will manifest itself any time I will be able to think and act.
Next, we went to the supermarket to buy some drink, because I was afraid of dehydration, and some food, because we had not any food from the previous evening. Navigating in supermarket was easy, but understanding how much food I need and what prices mean was not. I was thinking that bun I want to buy costs too little, but I was not able to understand/read price well. Anyway, I bought few buns and small bottle baked milk, forgetting to buy more mineral water/etc.
My GF told me during this time: “It was better for me to stay at home. I don't understand what I'm doing and if I look normal. Do we really act and look normal?”. I assured her we do, and indeed we were. Also, she reported very strong audio distortions in “rewind/fast forward” style.
After buying goods, we headed back to the celebration square, where folk bands were playing loudly; people were eating holiday treats and dancing a little. It was pretty cold and rainy, but my mood was pretty nice almost all the time, with short episodes of uneasy body load/anxiety quirks. But they had more to do with body load, not with anxiety from being intoxicated in public.
T +05:00 (MXE PART)
Here, I will be more detailed, because it is probably the most interesting part and is specific to MXE effects. I think somewhere around here, I peaked from my recent 20+ mg dosage, and it kicked in quite strong.
Some history: I used MXE four times before this, but from different batch. It was 10mg sublingual, 23+23+55mg sublingual, 20mg insufflated, 23 mg rectal.
Most times I did not like it much: I find it is too alcohol-like, mind-clogging and did not find dissociation pleasant. Euphoria often reported from MXE seems to be something else for me; I would not call it euphoria.
But this time, it was a bit different and better. Effects were familiar, but I felt and experienced them in a different way. I felt slight body numbness, some lack of movement coordination, stimulation. We also met my friend Panda (see prev. reports) and hanged with him from now on (he was sober).
First, I found that for me, MXE in low dosages (less then 25mg, better 10 mg even) works really well when I'm in social settings, having conversations, looking and doing simple things like watching/enjoying party/etc. Music sounds too loud and because of that unpleasant. I was not able to enjoy all details and hear all separate instruments like I do on weed/4-HO-MET/DOC/5-MeO-MiPT. I imagine MXE effect to music more opiate-like (never tried them), when sounds blend together and you can enjoy overall impression, not separate, surround and spacey beautiful tones and tunes. But for me, this way of enjoying music for some reason does not work.
Second, and pretty important thing, is that under MXE I become really confident, brave, socially open and can interact easily with everyone around. Possibly, more than with any other drug, including alcohol and DOC (where I have seen same effect). I have zero social anxiety and worries about being intoxicated in public. This is probably related to dissociation and fact how I perceive people on MXE, which is explained below.
Third, people on MXE for more become more like abstract concepts, aka E.T.s or robots. I still act perfectly socially acceptable and not violently/etc, because I am kind of lawful person inside. But when interacting with new or known people on MXE I don't care all usual things we do, things like proper tone in your voice, smiling and reacting to other people jokes, making proper facial expressions in response of their emotions (being sad when they are sad, etc). I also stop account for their shyness and comfortableness in talking/joining activities.
For example, two girls from organizers approached us to tell there is small contest happening near the stage and if we want to join. For me they were like Martians asking me to get into their UFO so they could probe and research me using their alien equipment. And without any doubts I quickly agreed. I think, with MXE, I could have done the same if actual Martians were asking me.
I also thought about that to interact socially, all usual emotional stuff is nice, but not required: if people share common goal and really want to do something, they can handle it even without social lubrication.
BTW, contest was quick food-eating and I easily won, because I felt strong stimulation from MXE and was able to move my teeth and jaws very fast.
I think my confidence based on these thoughts. First, if I am not under influence, I feel the need to act proper and “conform”. When intoxicated, I feel like I cannot conform to rules properly, so I just can do as I like, without troubling others obviously. Also, I understood sometime during my trips, that people in my country have no idea about any drugs except booze and rarely weed, so for any weird behavior they will think: “He is drank” and will not notice it at all. Even if they will see very strange behavior, the most they will do is turn away, because people are introvert here and like to mind their own business. In the worst-case scenario (I cannot imagine it, really) they will report me to authorities, but local police have no idea about RCs and will not be able to test for them. After understanding this, I feel very relaxed outdoors, even after taking some stuff.
During our hanging around square we saw few buddies, and had a chats with them. Panda was constantly looking for more of them, but when found, was reluctant to interact, because he still has a lot of problems with his shyness and self-esteem, although psychs seem to help him fix it a little. I brought him some MXE too, because I think it works for this well, but he is too cautious and afraid to use it in public. Anyway, I introduced him to few more people he already knew on-line, but for this I had to literally drag him using force. It was piece a cake, because I am pretty big and tough guy, and Panda is slim.
There were also people in costumes and with wild make-up in the crowd, and they scared my GF a lot at first. After a while she adjusted to it, though. It was easier for her to walk around, and not to stand in one place, watching. For me it was ok any way.
T +06:30
Celebration came to an end. I ate some fatty and meaty food given for free to the visitors, had not much appetite, but decided it is good idea anyway. GF did not eat anything from the morning.
We got a call from the Coyote (see prev. trip reports) inviting us to visit him, and headed to his house with his female friend we met earlier. Because I had some trouble finding right words when speaking and overall was concerned with fact that surroundings are interesting and surreal, and not conversation, she thought that my native language we were speaking in is not actually native for me.
I, in turn, thought that she speaks with accent. Neither of this was true, obviously.
Soon we got to the Coyote's house. He was at home with wife and little kid. He made us some tea and snacks. From now on, my trip starts to slowly fade away, with very enjoyable afterglow. Listening to others becomes pleasant, more so then speaking myself. Feelings of relaxation and warmness grow in me. All of us are feeling very comfortable and nice, conversation flows easily and slowly.
Coyote prepares some strong herbal liquor for us (52 degrees strong). I think it will not hurt on the tail of MXE experience. My girlfriend is almost on baseline already, her anxiety is gone, so she decides to drink some too.
This liquor feels nice, but makes me somewhat too relaxed and floored on the coach. It dislike alcohol for this very reason: I become too sleepy and feel like a worm or slug.
But time passes quickly and I experience strong pleasant afterglow from MXE/4-HO-MET anyway, like I always do. I think it is even stronger now, because it is weaker from me from either of these substances separately. We watched some stuff on YouTube, played with Coyote's kid, discussed his trip to ski resort, which impressed him insanely. His tale of extreme skiing without much experience goes straight to my heart, like previous tales about adventures I heard on MXE. I still remember these tales as magnificent and impressive.
T +10:00
We have vegetarian dinner, it feels very tasty and effects of alcohol seem to fade. We watch some B-movie I find boring and senseless, say bye to Coyote and head home. I decide to visit public swimming pool, my favorite place any day. I can go there anytime, because I have special subscription, and I use this right often, esp. on the tail of drug experience: this helps to smooth end of experience and remove hangover, get rid of excessive stimulation, and go to sleep easier. My GF heads to her friends and drinks some champagne there.
In the swimming pool I experience sense of perfect harmony/happiness, love to my GF and my parents. But after swimming easily for a long time (thanks to stim properties of MXE), I find I don't like how my body behaves and responds to physical exercise. When I left pool, still some uneasy body load was present, and it caused a little of mental anxiety.
T +12:00
I had some trouble getting to sleep, even with my usual after-trip melatonin pill, but managed to do this after some half an hour or so. Sleep was somewhat troubled.
Summary
4-HO-MET confirmed itself again as recreational, comfy and beautiful, good for beginners. Even with that, is caused some anxiety on come-up for my inexperienced GF, so beware. I still haven't reached my maximum dosage with it, next time I will try 50mg of fumarate no doubt.
Methoxetamine is whole other beast. I understand its character much better after 5 trips, and also find pleasure in it, finally. Never was able to enjoy it really before now, but it seems that combining with tryptamine even after its main exp already finished is a way to go. I wonder of powerful effects of MXE+Tryptamines combined at once, I read about these combinations and they sound tempting.
Also, I am not sure if this is related, but I got a cold next day, and my physical state for the next few days was not a best. Nevertheless, my mental state is amazing: I felt very upbeat, optimistic, my love to my GF and appreciation of her beauty and support increased tenfold, working was easy and enjoyable.
I don't know if to attribute this to properties of 4-HO-MET or MXE, they both seem to give me mood improving afterglow, although, before with MXE it was more apparent in the evening of dosage day, not next days, and with 4-HO-MET - the other way round. This time substances seemed to combine their afterglows, so my mood and state at the evening was mostly amazing (except some mildly unpleasant body load), next day it was ok, and days after that great again.
